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Ten Ton Hammer

  • Flying Lab Software has released a new movie trailer for Pirates of the Burning Sea to illustrate their massively multiplayer online naval combat game in development. This clip sports a bit over a minute of land-based fly-by footage along with some sea battle action. You can see it at 3D Gamers

    More Pirates of the Burning Sea

    News
    Fri, Jan 06, 2006
    Awenyddion
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    Thanks to the folks who sent in the names of personalities that they would like to poke fun at. It was a great list including Harrison Ford, The Wiggles, Arnold "The Gov" and even Sylvester Stallone. I'll pick one of the many prime targets and get cracking next week.
    Congratulations to the Canadian junior hockey team for winning gold at the world championship last night.
    It's Friday and that means the weekend is near. The community in an MMO changes dramatically on the weekend. Is it just me, or does the average IQ and skill of the players in MMOs drop like Paris Hilton at an open bar? Getting a good group becomes harder than pulling Oprah away from a publicity shoot and the chat channels are filled with so much gibberish that you would swear you were listening to politicians debate. There's a lot being said and none of it makes sense.
    I don't claim to be funny, though I play a humour columnist on a website. The things that people post as funny in the MMO chat channels on weekends are sometimes not even comprehensible. One person will mention Chuck Norris and the drivel will start flying. At least make it funny folks.
    "Chuck Norris plays a ranger in EverQuest because he was a ranger in Texas Ranger on T.V. Ha ha ha ha ha" isn't funny no matter how you read it. Of course, in the original version nearly every word including Norris would have been spelled incorrectly.
    With the weekend also comes the dreaded Guild Looking For Members Spam. Here it comes..."We're a guild who will do end game raiding, PvP and help everyone out." Sure you will, both of you, because when I do a /who on your guild name that's all that shows up. If you can't even get 10 people to like you enough to form your guild then don't expect people to magically think you are worth hanging around with once you get the tag "Knights of Azeroth" over your head.
    And another thing, what's with the guild names? Does every name need to have Azeroth, Horde, Alliance, Knights, Death or Bunny in it? Alliance Death Bunnies. Your Mudders A Horde. Death to Alliance. Death to Horde. Knights of the Alliance, you get the picture.
    Enough of that...I hope you all have a great weekend.
    I will be away from my desk until next Thursday. I will try to update Loading... in the morning from my hotel, but I can't make any promises.
    New Comic - Famous WoW Players Presents: "Charlton Heston ".
    Here's what's new on the network!

    • Vanguard: Anatomy of a Troll

      "
      What are we talking about here? The big ugly greenish dudes in EQ, or the wise-cracking greenish fang-toothed characters who talk with Jamaican accents in WoW?
      Actually, none of these. Today, we will be looking at a different kind of troll…a verbal griefer if you will. They come in all sizes, colors, nationalities, and sexes (well, usually one of two). They have varying backgrounds, differing levels of education, and different paychecks. They come in all ages and backgrounds. They have one thing in common-they love to grief people on a verbal basis."
    • Vanguard: Necromancer

      " The Necromancer is one of Vanguard: Saga of Heroes arcane casters. Traditionally the Necromancer has been a master of the undead. This caster uses dark powers to summon the dead to do his bidding. This class also has traditionally made use of life stealing magic as well as damage over time spells."
    • Guild Wars: Interrupt Ranger Build

      " Rangers are one of the most versatile classes in the game. They can be trappers, runners, spikers and interrupters, and do it all well. They’ve got range and firepower, plus a lot of dirty tricks up their sleeve. "
    • EverQuest 2: Guide to Scornfeather's Roost

      " High atop the Clefts of Rujark, lies an area so horrid and dangerous (not to mention smelly, omg do you KNOW how much bird poop is in there?), even the mighty Rujarkian Orcs dare not enter (without gas masks). This roost of terror is littered with corpses whose little remaining flesh is fought over by harpies. As if a bunch of giant smelly bird critters isn't bad enough, there are snakes. Big ones."
    • New Year...New Game...New You? - Vanguard

      " This year, why not make different resolutions? Why not try to make some that won’t require dieting, or the purchase of a gym membership you’ll stop using after a month or two. Make resolutions that won’t deprive you of your twice-weekly Krispy Kreme or Starbucks addiction. Some time this year, if all goes well, Turbine will favor us with a shiny new game: Lord of the Rings Online: Shadows of Angmar (LotRO). Before you enter Middle Earth for the first time, why not resolve to be a better gamer? What does being a better gamer mean? Only you can make that determination. I’ll share a few suggestions, though, and you can figure out for yourself which ones fit."
    • New Year's Resolutions For Gamers

      " Heading to the gym more, losing a few pounds, eating less junk food, and spending more time with the family, these are all typical responses when asked what you're New Years Resolutions are. Can any of us really keep a straight face as we find ourselves reciting these familiar strains? Looking around the gaming community leads me to think that these recitations are in need of refreshing…something more along the lines of what gamers really ought to try for instead of these mainstream answers. "
    • EverQuest 2 - New Year's Resolutions

      " One of the most popular new year traditions is to make resolutions. People make promises to themselves to do things better or in some cases worse. This tradition is traced back to early Babylon when folks would make a mental note to return borrowed farming equipment (That reminds me, I should probably take that snow blower back to my neighbor). So let's grab a glass of champagne, put our arms around our neighbors and sing some “Auld Lang Syne”."
    • EverQuest 2 - Language Guide Update - U Nubs R Axin 4 it.

      "It's self explanatory. What are you looking here for?"
    • WoW: Paladin Guide Updated Post 1.9 Patch

      " Wishing they had Frost Shock since 2005"
    • EverQuest 2 - Assassin Guide

      " Like to be up in the mix but not be the focus of a monsters wrath?   With high damage stealth attacks the assassin moves in and brings the pain.  Not designed to take much in the damage department, it requires cunning and strategy for maximum efficency. One of their primary functions involves the ability to hide from most enemies, unleashing their strikes without warning.  Another involves being able to tip their blades with poision, causing damage and other adverse effects.  They are also one of the few classes trained to use thrown and projectile weaponry firing from a distance. "

    Now on to the real world. You can't make this stuff up.

    As always, thanks for visiting TenTonHammer.com,
    -- John "Boomjack" Hoskin

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    Fri, Jan 06, 2006
    Boomjack
  • MMORPG.com has a new Dark and Light QNA up for your reading pleasure.

    MMORPG.com: There are those in our forums who feel that NP3 is attempting to “scam” people out of their money by charging players for the Pioneer offer, which, in effect, is asking them to support a game which has not yet been completed. How do you respond to this?
    The Dark & Light Team: This would be true if we only offer a key for Dark and Light. But we proposed as very complete and value added package no other player will never be able to get. Other offers will come to prepare the release of Dark and Light but none will be as rich as the Pioneer Offer.

    "no other player will never be able to get" Ouch! Someone forgot to do a grammar check.

    Other Dark and Light News and Info

    News
    Thu, Jan 05, 2006
    Awenyddion
  • "In the wild and deadly battles in the wastelands, a chassis’ armor protection is one of the most vital elements of survival." Well you can't beat that with a stick! NetDevil has posted their latest installment of features on the Official Site today. This one deals with your Vehicle's Armor

    Throughout the history of warfare the technological development of better forms of protection and ways of survival always follows the development of new weapon systems and methods of destruction. For instance, one side develops a new weapon and after an initial period of adjustment, the opponent fields a way of protecting against it. The new weapon proliferates to all sides and eventually the protection does as well, so the cycle begins anew. In the Central Wastelands, little of this process has changed.

    Check out our Auto Assault Fansite!

    Other Auto Assault News and Info

    News
    Thu, Jan 05, 2006
    Awenyddion
  • Tactics, Tactics and More Tactics. When a journal starts out like this, what do you think it's going to be about? Read Beta Journal #7 to find out!

    Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

    In the typical sandwich combat MMO, there’s little point in trying to dodge blows from a monster you’re fighting; it’s programmed to hit you regardless. While you can engage a DDO monster in that manner, real-time reactions will make you a much more efficient fighter (with a lot more hit points left over at the end of a fight). Don’t just stand in front of the enemy and trade blows. Keep those feet moving - to the flanks - adjust your position. Much like boxers and marital artists do, move around to keep your opponent off-balance. Nimble monsters present a challenge, they may move to face you as fast as you move away, so mix your movement by also jumping back and forth as you attack. I see too many barbarians and rangers (in light armor) trying to trade blows toe-to-toe. They may win, but are often more wounded than necessary and are soon dipping into their potion supply or crying for the nearest healer when the next encounter slams the party. And healers, just like fighters, are working on a strategic budget in any given dungeon crawl - there’s no automatic health or magic point regeneration here!

    Join Shayalyn on our Ten Ton Hammer Dungeons & Dragons Online: Stormreach Fansite!

    More DDO: Stormreach News and Info

    News
    Thu, Jan 05, 2006
    Awenyddion
  • This has absolutely nothing to do with gaming and everything to do with my personal sanity. Since either Fox and / or WB has taken every single show that I love to watch off of their lineup over the last 2 years, I feel that it is time to take a stand. Now admittedly I'm really funny as a crazy lady, but I'd like to keep some shred of dignity as your daily newscaster. So! With that said, take a moment to visit Save Our Bluths.

    Arrested Development is seriously one of the funniest shows on Television right now and it would be a murderous shame to have it taken off the air. Monday nights People! Tune in!

    News
    Thu, Jan 05, 2006
    Awenyddion
  • Sony has put up four new Screenshots of it's upcoming expansion Kingdom of Sky. They've also given us a release date. February 21, 2006 is the big day!

    Now like most of you old EQ players out there, I'm sure that this new expansion reminds you greately of the Plane of Sky. And if you were in Ellar Dobluth on The Rathe server with me in the early days, this also reminds you of Eero getting his butt kicked by the short kid after mouthing off to him. Good times... good times..

    Visit our very own EverQuest 2 Ten Ton Hammer site

    Other EverQuest 2 News and Info

    News
    Thu, Jan 05, 2006
    Awenyddion
  • Codemasters has secured licensing for this title for Europe.

    Thursday, 5 January (10am UK time) – Codemasters Online Gaming today announces that it has secured a license agreement from CCR, Inc. of South Korea to extend the distribution of RF Online to mainland Europe.

    The title, already one of the most successful massively multiplayer online games in the Far East, will be published simultaneously in the U.S. and Europe in Q1 2006 for PC.

    More Info and News on RF Online

    News
    Thu, Jan 05, 2006
    Awenyddion
  • Guild Wars OGaming has continued its weekly Caption Contest with its fifth edition and is only available at Guild Wars OGaming

    Welcome to Screenshot Caption Competition #5!

    First, congratulations to our week 3 winner: Ladicius

    You are welcome to submit captions for the screenshot untill Sunday, when we'll post the best five so you can vote on who should be the winner!

    Please take the time to vote on the finalists from last week here.

    The winner gets their name and caption immortalised forever in the GW Ogaming Gallery!

    Mine would be ... After weeks of siege, the palace guards started getting a little TOO friendly.

    Check out Ten Ton Hammer's Own Guid Wars Site. It Rocks!

    Other Guild Wars News and Info

    News
    Thu, Jan 05, 2006
    Awenyddion
  • Loading...
    What makes people like Vin Diesel, Chuck Norris and even virtual celebrity Leeroy Jenkins so easy to poke fun at?
    You may have noticed that there have been no new Vin Diesel Facts out of my weary brain since we turned the page to 2006. A few of you have even written me asking when they would be coming back. The answer: probably never. I'm dry, tapped out, at the bottom of the well...you get the picture. I think it's time for a new face to reap the rewards of daily TTH facts.
    My short list includes: Bruce Campbell, Angelina Jolie, Tom Cruise, Those meddling kids from Scooby Doo and our own in-house nitwit, Neddie Seagoon. I'm sure you have better people for me to poke fun at on a daily basis, so let me know who they are! Who knows? You might even get a little present if we pick the one you sent in.
    Send your entries here and for the sake of all that is holy don't send them here.
    Day Old Comic - Totem Poles are the topic in "Proud Protectors ".
    Here's what's new on the network!

    • New Year...New Game...New You? - Vanguard

      " This year, why not make different resolutions? Why not try to make some that won’t require dieting, or the purchase of a gym membership you’ll stop using after a month or two. Make resolutions that won’t deprive you of your twice-weekly Krispy Kreme or Starbucks addiction. Some time this year, if all goes well, Turbine will favor us with a shiny new game: Lord of the Rings Online: Shadows of Angmar (LotRO). Before you enter Middle Earth for the first time, why not resolve to be a better gamer? What does being a better gamer mean? Only you can make that determination. I’ll share a few suggestions, though, and you can figure out for yourself which ones fit. "
    • New Year's Resolutions For Gamers

      " Heading to the gym more, losing a few pounds, eating less junk food, and spending more time with the family, these are all typical responses when asked what you're New Years Resolutions are. Can any of us really keep a straight face as we find ourselves reciting these familiar strains? Looking around the gaming community leads me to think that these recitations are in need of refreshing…something more along the lines of what gamers really ought to try for instead of these mainstream answers. "
    • EverQuest 2 - New Year's Resolutions

      " One of the most popular new year traditions is to make resolutions. People make promises to themselves to do things better or in some cases worse. This tradition is traced back to early Babylon when folks would make a mental note to return borrowed farming equipment (That reminds me, I should probably take that snow blower back to my neighbor). So let's grab a glass of champagne, put our arms around our neighbors and sing some “Auld Lang Syne”."
    • EverQuest 2 - Language Guide Update - U Nubs R Axin 4 it.

      "It's self explanatory. What are you looking here for?"
    • WoW: Paladin Guide Updated Post 1.9 Patch

      " Wishing they had Frost Shock since 2005"
    • EverQuest 2 - Assassin Guide

      " Like to be up in the mix but not be the focus of a monsters wrath?   With high damage stealth attacks the assassin moves in and brings the pain.  Not designed to take much in the damage department, it requires cunning and strategy for maximum efficency. One of their primary functions involves the ability to hide from most enemies, unleashing their strikes without warning.  Another involves being able to tip their blades with poision, causing damage and other adverse effects.  They are also one of the few classes trained to use thrown and projectile weaponry firing from a distance. "
    • WoW: Back to the Future

      " It's now 2006, a brand new year, full of endless posibilites, dozens of Blizzard promises, and the contiuation of that living being, known as the Online Game, World of Warcraft. Much has happened in a year and infact the game itself has only been out for a short while longer, but has already taken under it's influence 5, 000, 000 gamers around the world and has a well established in game economy. This "New Year's Resolution" Tentonhammer article will take a breif look at some of the many statements and promises made by the players in Azeroth that they will try and keep throught the next year, as well, how much things have changed over the passed year since the game's begining. "
    • Auto Assault: The Benefits of IRC and Gaming

      " When Auto Assault (or AA) starts up, the first thing you are going to want to do is play.  Of course that is what anyone is going to want to do.  Then you’ll want to be active in the community.  Why would you want to be active in the community?  Well for starters knowing other players is a great way to get grouping started along with the inevitable need to be in a clan.  Well, finding people in game is a great start, but if there are so many people who play the game then the amount you interact with in-game would be small.  So if you want to interact with a larger group of the community, then you’ll need to do so outside of the game itself. "
    • New Year's Resolutions...D&D Style

      " Over the years, I’ve made many a New Year’s resolution. I’m not going to tell you how the “lose weight” and “get more exercise” ones turned out, but suffice it to say I keep making that same resolution every year. I’ve come to the conclusion that New Year’s resolutions are one surefire way to plan failure and self-defeat.  After all, those champagne-sodden promises we make and proclaim each January 1st are destined to be broken. "
    • Guild Wars: New Year's Resolution

      " I don’t make New Years Resolutions. If you can’t stick to a diet in June, what makes January any different? However, do I have a list of things that I would like to accomplish this year. I won’t call them resolutions. I’ll just call them steps in my master plan. "
    • Lord of the Rings Online: New Year...New Game...New You."
    • Hottest MMOG Releases of 2006

      " Now that you've stumbled out of that drunken Christmas gluttony and all of the turkey sandwiches are consumed, it's time to look forward to what's coming up in the New Year.  The pickings have been slim this year. I'm not saying that these are terrible games; they aren't. However, it's time for something fresh and something that will take us out of this box. The 2006 stocking looks like it's going to be bulging with a plethora of new games for us to devour.  Will these new and shiny toys knock our socks off or will they end up on the shelf of dour disappointment? "
    • Vanguard: Game Terms 101

      " Are you new to MMOs or just a bit rusty on what all those terms mean? VTTH presents Game Terms 101 to help you decipher what is being said around you as you wander into Telon and other gaming worlds."

    Now on to the real world. You can't make this stuff up.

    As always, thanks for visiting TenTonHammer.com,
    -- John "Boomjack" Hoskin

    Loading...
    Thu, Jan 05, 2006
    Boomjack
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