Ten Ton Hammer Video of the Day

I got nothin'

I want you to see the things our news guy, Martuk, does to torment me. I ask him to send me videos he finds when he's scouring for news, and he's great at that. But every now and then he throws in something...weird. I'm pretty sure he does it just to see how I'll react. Or maybe he's interested in seeing me have a little fun with it in this feature, but...I'm going to assume the former. Keep that in mind when you see today's video, because this came straight from Tuk's inbox to mine.

Now, I've got to admire Alice's enthusiasm at the beginning of this video. She really does think she's on to something. Those online roleplaying games we all love are "really fun and addictive," but it would appear they're either for kids, or they're porny. So, what do you do to avoid being "stuck at the kiddie table" or "up to your eyeballs in porn?" You play Venus Rising, of course.

Wasn't that fun? I simply can't help but think of Venus Rising as Penis Rising. Because I'm 12 years old. And apparently a boy. (But not really, although penises do still make me giggle, which has resulted in some awkward third dates.)

Also, I can't really show you Venus Rising without showing you this LARPing promo, which is deliciously cheesy and reminiscent of bad porn. (Sorry, Alice, that makes it "porny" as well as corny, even though we see no genitalia. Thank the gods.) These poor guys, they're certain that they're gonna get their fornication on in some fantastic Roman orgy, and...yeah. The guy on the couch to the right is thinking, "Well, that was a total waste of guyliner."

If all that has your juices flowing (ahem), you can learn more about Venus Rising at helpvenusrise.com. (Don't do the Freudian thing and accidentally type helppenisrise.com. I have not tested it, and I am not responsible for the result it returns. Fair warning.) Also, be sure to check out the game info page and get a load of (I swear I can't help the puns) the Poseidon concept art. Again, fair warning--what is seen cannot be unseen.

You're welcome, people. And while you're at it, you should also thank Martuk in the comments section below.

If you've got a video you'd love to see featured as our Video of the Day, drop me a link at shayalyn[AT]tentonhammer.com. You can also tweet me @ShayalynTTH on Twitter.

Last Updated: Mar 13, 2016

About The Author

Karen 1
Karen is H.D.i.C. (Head Druid in Charge) at EQHammer. She likes chocolate chip pancakes, warm hugs, gaming so late that it's early, and rooting things and covering them with bees. Don't read her Ten Ton Hammer column every Tuesday. Or the EQHammer one every Thursday, either.