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Loading... is the premier daily
MMOG news, coverage, and
commentary newsletter, only from Ten Ton Hammer.

When was the last time you encountered a true newbie in a
MMOG? (No, not someone who merely played like a newb, but a newly
initiated gamer who was "fresh off the boat," so to
speak.) It's likely been a while. The true newb has become rarer and
rarer in MMO gaming. But what can be done? We discuss the options in
today's Loading... Save the Newbie!


The Pulse

You vote with what you view at Ten Ton Hammer, and the
is the Ten Ton Pulse ( target="_blank">What is The Pulse?).

Here are today's top 5 Pulse results over the
last week:

  1. World
    of Warcraft
  2. EverQuest
  3. Dungeons
    Dragons Online
    (UP 2)
  4. Lord
    of the
    Rings Online
    (Down 1)
  5. href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/taxonomy/term/43">EVE
    Online (Down 1)

Biggest movers today:

  1. href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/taxonomy/term/147">Myst
    Online: URU Live (UP 18 to #17)
  2. href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/taxonomy/term/1234">Runes
    of Magic (UP 3 to #13)
  3. href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/taxonomy/term/38">EverQuest
    (Down 2 to #14)
Recent Releases

  • March 2010
    - APB
  • April 2010
    - href="http://www.cityofheroes.com/news/game_updates/issue_17/issue_17_overview.html?utm_source=COHemail&utm_medium=US&utm_campaign=banner">City
    of Heroes: Issue
  • style="font-weight: bold;">Spring 2010
    - Mytheon
  • TBA 2010
    - Final
    Fantasy XIV

  • style="font-weight: bold;">Spring 2011
    - Star Wars:
    The Old


Loading... Daily

Suspend disbelief with me for a moment and pretend you're watching a
nature show on PBS or Animal Planet. The great href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Irwin">Steve Irwin
may no longer roam the wilds proclaiming, "I'nt he beeyooooo-tiful?"
before prodding some poor amphibian with a stick, but...we persevere.
(You might also have to pretend that my science isn't a bit rusty,
particularly if you're a member is the subspecies nerdus,
as discussed below.) Onward!

Today we zoom in on the rare scarlet crested newbie (newbus rutilus
), a subspecies of homo sapiens.
As we peer into her daily life in this vintage footage from over a
decade ago, we see that she is comfortably nestled in her natural
habitat, a home office, and using one of the tools she has recently
begun to display a strong preference for, a contraption known as a
personal computer. Observe as the newbie retrieves electronic mail from
friends and relatives, as well as unknown entities hawking items
purported to enhance the newbie's reproductive life. She seems quite at
ease in this environment, but something is about to shake her out of
her comfort zone.

Watch as the newbie lifts a box off her desk with care and opens it to
spill out its contents. She seems to have something there in her
hands...ah, a fabric map marked Norrath. What this
"Norrath" could be, we don't yet know, and it's safe to guess that the
newbie doesn't quite know, herself. But now she's inserting something
into the personal computer and it appears she's engaging in a newbie
ritual known as "installing a program." More and more newbies are
becoming adept at installing programs, and it seems fair to say that
some of the species have begun to evolve to encompass a new species,
the highly intelligent, if slightly less hardy (due to its aversion to
outdoor activity), geekus.

As the newbie begins to run the newly installed program, we can see
that she is highly engaged. Her pulse has likely quickened,
and we can see that her eyes have dilated in a natural display
of heightened interest. Theme music plays, and soon she has begun the
ritual known as character creation. She is literally making a
character--an avatar to represent herself--before our eyes. Soon, she
will take this avatar and venture into a virtual world that both newbus
and geekus alike refer to as an MMOG--a massively
multiplayer online game. This particular MMOG is known as EverQuest.
Others of the species, during this time period, had discovered similar
online games known by names such as Ultima Online
and Meridian 59.

Over a decade has passed since the first few members of the newbus
species discovered MMOGs. It is safe to say that they are now becoming
an endangered species, as most have evolved over a relatively short
period of time. They have become the intelligent and pasty geekus,
or the somewhat old-fashioned (due to their throwback affinity
for archaic pen-and-paper gaming) nerdus. We also
find the highly aggressive species called gankus
frequenting MMOGs with strong PvP (player-versus-player) components, as
well as the stunningly equipped and highly skilled, if somewhat
arrogant, leetus.

As time passes, the true newbus will likely cease
to exist. They are encountered far less often in modern online gaming
environments, although members of the evolved species are still oft
misidentified as newbus by more skilled players.
Yet, indeed, the quaint and charmingly inept true newbie is rapidly
vanishing from the gaming world, as younglings from the more evolved
species gain what the homo sapiens refer to as "mad
skillz" at an early age, advancing from simple PC games to consoles
and, if they're so inclined, to MMOGs.

The best way for homo sapiens to preserve the
newbie is to constantly seek to bring new players to MMOG gaming.
Although most newbus will eventually evolve, while
they are in their uninitiated state they remain fun to observe, if
somewhat infuriating to interact with. The highly evolved species must
continue to greet the fragile newbie with enthusiasm and a display of
eager helpfulness, while preserving them from the assertive tactics of
the gankus and protecting their tender psyches
from the inferiority-complex-engendering leetus.

Long live the newbus! May we protect this very
special species from extinction. Without it, we gamers become
increasingly older and more jaded. The newbus is
indeed essential to the welfare of the gaming community.

Do you remember your evolution? Will you help save the newbie? Tell us
in the href="http://forums.tentonhammer.com/showthread.php?t=49955">Loading...

Shayalyn's Epic Thread of
the Day

From our href="http://forums.tentonhammer.com/forumdisplay.php?f=663">STO
News & Articles Discussion

Trek Online: Atari Removes Additional 60 Days of Playtime Offer

Ah, what would the MMOG world be without another conspiracy or
something for gamers to get worked up over. The conspiracy du jour
seems to be over whether Atari offered a $10 discount on its
collector's edition box complete with 60 days of additional playtime.
Whatever the case may be, the 60 day playtime bonus has been removed
(or was it never there in the first place? You get to figure out what
to believe.)

Folks are talking about this flame-worthy topic in our forum. href="http://forums.tentonhammer.com/showthread.php?t=49910">Join


Awesome Quotes from the
Epic Thread

"Turbine severed their relationship with Atari as fast as they
could, I think if Cryptic doesn't do the same we may see Cryptic get
into the financial mess that Atari is in now.

- solareus


Have you spotted an Epic Thread on our forums? href="http://forums.tentonhammer.com/showthread.php?t=32559">Tell

New and Exclusive Content
Today at Ten Ton Hammer

3 new Ten Ton Hammer
features today! 20 in March! 250
in 2010!


Aika Class Interview Series Part 2 - The


our six part interview series with Christina Kelley of Gala-Net we move
on to Aika Online's primary healer class, the Cleric.Aika Online is a
PvP focused game that looks to finally fulfill the promise of making
player versus player content truly massive with its 1000 vs 1000 epic
battles. In order to keep rendering to a minimum the game is limited to
six classes, but what they lack in numbers they make up for in fun and
diversity. Perhaps no class in the game more wholly demonstrates those
principles than the Cleric.


Global Agenda - Robotics PvE Tactics


the good fight against the Commonwealth in Global Agenda provides you
the means with which to build the best of the best items in
game to boost your stats. So who is the best at farming these lovely
parts? Our Robotics friends have it easy bringing high damage, high
utility, and even high healing to the table. Many tricks exist to
exploit your abilities to their fullest, and it's that fullest ability
that you'll need in order to survive the hardest areas of PvE in this
game. Ten Ton Hammer covers everything you need to know to put those
Maximum Security levels on farm once and for all as a Robotics.

WoW Cataclysm Stat Changes In-Depth


Blizzard started discussing the possibility of massive changes to the
character stat system coming in Cataclysm way back at Blizzcon players
have wondered exactly what was changing and why. While there have been
several posts by Blizzard employees talking about some of the changes
and what they will mean, Eyonix has posted a new message on the forums
that contains a wealth of information. Now that we know a bit more
about some of the changes being planned and more about why they are
planned, how will they likely effect your gaming experience, Byron
"Messiah" Mudry steps in to give the new system a once over.

Hottest Articles and Guides

  1. An
    Exclusive Interview
    with Video Game
    Composer Matt Uelmen
  2. Aika
    Class Interview Series Part 2 - The Cleric

  3. href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/eve/guides/combat/calling_targets">Calling
    Targets As A Newbie Fleet Commander In style="font-weight: bold;">
    EVE Online
  4. style="font-weight: bold;">EQ2 "Digging in the
    Dirt" Heritage
    Quest Guide
  5. A
    Sneak Peek at
    href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/node/81479">LotRO href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/node/81479"> Volume 3 Book
  6. A
    New Dawn with Gods
    & Heroes -
    Q&A with Tim Schubert
    style="font-weight: bold;">

  7. Going
    Rogue with City of Heroes
    - A Q&A with Melissa
  8. style="font-weight: bold;">Microcosms Issue #7 -
    The Duel is
  9. href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/sto/features/editorials/fleetactions">Star
    Trek Online
    Putting the ‘Fleet' Back In Fleet Action
  10. href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/mytheon/video/introQA_pt2">Mytheon href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/mytheon/video/introQA_pt2">
    Q&A Part 2: Sound, Loot, Launch Plans, and Microtransactions

for visiting the Ten Ton Hammer

- Karen "Shayalyn" Hertzberg
and the
Ten Ton Hammer team

Last Updated: Mar 13, 2016

About The Author

Karen 1
Karen is H.D.i.C. (Head Druid in Charge) at EQHammer. She likes chocolate chip pancakes, warm hugs, gaming so late that it's early, and rooting things and covering them with bees. Don't read her Ten Ton Hammer column every Tuesday. Or the EQHammer one every Thursday, either.