Grumpy Gamer Player Profiles: The Lawyer
Encounter Type: Natural Troll
Habitat: General chat
The Lawyer is the player that loves to turn any situation into a debate.
The Lawyer enjoys arguing, regardless of whether or not the argument has
any purpose or point. Indeed, trivial topics are more likely to be the
subject of the Lawyer's most heated arguments. He may or may not be aware
that he is behaving this way, so his trolling may be natural and inherent,
The Lawyer enjoys finding loopholes, real or imagined, in sets of rules
or codes. He may or may not exploit these loopholes himself, but the
Lawyer's focus is on arguing about it rather than actually doing it.
He will often employ an arsenal of big words to make himself sound
smarter, though he may not spell them correctly or even use them in the
proper context. He may or may not have a handle on grammar, but will
readily point out grammatical and spelling errors in his opponents'
arguments if it serves to make him seem smarter.
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"Problems with an argumentative know-it-all player? Better call
He will out-argue any competition and will never budge from his original
stance. If his original position is proven to be incorrect and
indefensible, he will resort to angry personal attacks and use ad hominem
arguments to undermine his opponents, but he will not vary from his stated
opinion, no matter how wrong it may be.
The worst way to deal with a Lawyer is to try to argue with him using
logic. You can't out-logic stubborn and crazy - that's the trap he has
set. He's baiting for an argument, and giving it to him only makes him
stronger. The more people argue against him, the bigger words he will use,
and the longer his sentences will grow. In the end, this kind of argument
will come down to attrition - he will wear his opponents down through
exhaustion and frustration until he is the last man standing.
The best defense against the Lawyer is to resort to childish, simple
trolling: counter all of his arguments with "Your mother!" or something
equally juvenile. His responses will be wildly entertaining as he gets
angrier and angrier, and he will be unable to resist trying to make
himself seem superior and smarter and better, while failing to realize
that responding to childish taunts only reveals the petty, contentious
time-sink he truly is.