Grumpy Gamer Player Profiles: The Raging Noob
src="http://www.tentonhammer.com/image/view/251777"> Typical Raging
The Raging Noob
Type: 0-Level Mook
Habitat: Low-level areas, begging for help in ALL
A lot of us players are seasoned veterans by now. We've seen and played
enough MMOs to be familiar with how things work - the controls, the many
different systems, the people. It took many hours of intensive gameplay to
earn our mastery. But we all started somewhere, and every MMO is someone's
very first. However, some people handle this new experience with more
grace than others. The Raging Noob does not.
The "Raging" part of Raging Noob does not necessarily refer to the actual
emotional state of rage. Rather, it refers to the depths of the player's
noobishness. The Raging Noob is a step below the Raw Noob, who is merely
inexperienced but will likely improve over time. The difference is, the
Raging Noob is much "louder" than the Raw Noob, and can potentially carry
his noobish behavior all the way to elder game without showing any
The Raging Noob is the human equivalent of a low-level trash mob. He may
be having a tough time figuring out what all the buttons do, or how to use
them properly in a fight. He may have skipped the tutorial missions,
figuring that sort of thing is for babies and not realizing it's meant
exactly for players like him. Or he might have chugged through the
tutorial, thinking it was representative of the rest of the game and
taking far, far too long at it, only to be overwhelmed when he passes
through into the main game and discovers that the mobs actually fight
back. He often has very little understanding about game mechanics, even
those that are common to many games. He has a poor grasp of game-specific
jargon and shorthand, and often has a poor command of language in general.
Hawthorne - classic Raging Noob.
The Raging Noob may be equally confused by certain aspects of human
nature. It's natural to expect a vast cooperative experience when a player
first ventures into the wonderful world of MMOs, with everyone
getting along and helping one another and generally being nice. But that's
almost never the case. Mostly, everyone is going about his or her own
business and not paying anyone else much mind. The Raging Noob's initial
pleas for assistance often go unnoticed, drowned in a sea of similar pleas
from a sea of other noobs, which is why he develops the policy of using
ALL CAPS and spamming chat channels to beg for help with tasks that most
other players consider trivial. Typical requests include:
- "HOW DO I MAKE ARMER AND WEPPINS????"
- "CAN SUM1 HELP ME KILL THIS GUY???"
- "WHERE DO I GO FOR THIS QUEST PLZ HELP????"
- "WHERE CAN U BUY A MOUNT????"
- "NEED HELP W DUNGEON PLZ SEND PST"
- "CAN SUM1 GIVE ME GOLD SO I CAN BUY A MOUNT???"
And when this fails to get them the help they need, or when it starts to
seem like too much work, they will resort to blind invite-spamming.
Lessons are learned slowly for the Raging Noob. He will select armor
based on how it looks rather than on whether or not it's actually suitable
for his class, and will continue using inappropriate gear until enough
people make fun of him for it. He will have zero grasp on the intricacies
of his chosen class - his healers will almost never heal and he has no
skill for holding aggro on a tank, which will earn the scornful wrath of
the seasoned players for whom low-level dungeons are serious business.
For most noobs, social mistakes such as those detailed here come from
lack of experience. Their behavior is corrected when more experienced
players take the time to explain how things work. For the Raging Noob,
it's something else entirely. They require many repeated lessons for the
instruction to take hold. They get upset when they are told that what they
are doing is incorrect. They take it personally when no one responds
positively to their begging.
It's possible - likely, even - that the Raging Noob is actually a young
child, taking his first steps into unsupervised online socializing. But
this is not always the case. Some Raging Noobs are adults who merely
behave like bratty children. In either case, it's not our responsibility
to babysit or hold hands. And if we do take the time to give the Raging
Noob some assistance, it is never acknowledged or appreciated.
Over time, the Raging Noob may become a contributing member of the online
gaming community. That time may be a long way away, or it may never come.
That's the gamble. And there's no real way to deal with a Raging Noob in
the meantime - he doesn't take instruction, doesn't respond well to
constructive criticism, and even trolling him is unsatisfying. If you
don't have the patience to hold their hands, your only recourse is to add
them to your ignore list.