Humor

Gaming with Uncle Lester: Making Us Even Lazier

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Gaming With Uncle Lester

Uncle Lester may live in a van down by the river, but that doesnÂ’t mean he isnÂ’t a gamer at heart. Always on the lookout for an unsecured Wi-Fi connection to use before being runoff, his quest for gamer glory continues!


Hello and welcome to the 13th edition of Gaming with Uncle Lester! IÂ’m your host of todayÂ’s show, Uncle Lester. H-O-L-Y C-R-A-PÂ… this is either the greatest idea in the history of mankind, or the dumbest thing IÂ’ve ever tried. I was driving past a military base when my Wi-Fi signal receiver lit up like a Christmas tree. And hereÂ’s the kickerÂ… ITÂ’S NOT SECURED! I tried to just leave it alone, but come onÂ… itÂ’s free Wi-Fi! And seriously, whatÂ’s the worst that could happen?

So today I have finally come to realize just how lazy of a gamer I really am. IÂ’m kickinÂ’ it up front, spun my swivel seat around, and realized my Xbox controller is sitting on top of my console, rather than its normal resting spot (my dashboard). I really wanted to get in some fighting time with Injustice, but I couldnÂ’t bring myself to get up from my chair, walk the length of my van, grab the controller, and walk back. Since itÂ’s not lying in arms reach, IÂ’ve sat here for almost three hours now. Doing nothing.

How lazy have we become as gamers? IÂ’ll tell ya how lazy. Aside from my painful story of extreme gaming depravation, I had a house when SOE partnered with Pizza Hut, allowing me to order pizza from inside EverQuest II. When it was first announced, I thought it was the dumbest thing IÂ’d ever heard.

ThenÂ… after I was stuck in a raid that went long, I realized it was the greatest accomplishment of the gaming world. I could play my game and order pizza at the same time!!! Oh, what a glorious moment in history that was. Of course, 120 added pounds later, divorced, unemployed, and homeless, IÂ’m slowly coming to the conclusion that I may have been incorrectÂ… but I doubt it.

ThatÂ’s it for todayÂ’s show but tune in tomorrow for more from your sassy sassafras of the gaming world, Uncle Lester! Be sure to follow me on Twitter at @UncleLesterWIFI too or send me an email with your gamer topic at [email protected]!

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