Gaming with Uncle Lester: New Console, No Game... WTF?
Uncle Lester may live in a van down by the river, but that doesnÂt mean he isnÂt a gamer at heart. Always on the lookout for an unsecured Wi-Fi connection to use before being runoff, his quest for gamer glory continues!
Hello and welcome to the eighth edition of Gaming with Uncle Lester! IÂm your host of todayÂs show, Uncle Lester. So uhÂ yeah. I didnÂt think anything about the attendance assignment Preacher McGee gave me in exchange for being able to use the churchÂs Wi-Fi and parking lot at first but IÂm beginning to wonder if thereÂs something else going on now. He came by to see how I was doing tonight and offered me some Jesus Juice. IÂm not a religious man so I declined (wouldnÂt want to burst into flames or anything), but I seem to remember hearing something about Michael Jackson and his love of it. HmmmÂ
AnywayÂ with all the commotion being stirred up lately about the upcoming releases of the Xbox One and PS4, thereÂs really only one question I want answered. Am I getting a free game included with it and are you cheap bastards going to give me more than one controller? Seriously, what the hell happened in the last decade or so?
Back in my day, when you bought a gaming system you gotÂ wait for it Â this is going to shock the hell out of all of youÂ you gotÂ A DAMNED GAME! I mean, what is so freaking hard to understand about that concept? When did it become acceptable to charge me half a monthÂs rent for a game system and then expect me to pony up another 60+ bucks for a game so I could actually use it?
Personally, I think some greedy beady eyed little bean counter in an office somewhere pitched the idea in a meeting room full of stuffy execs that had never played a game in their miserable little lives. ÂHey, IÂve got it! WeÂll sell them the greatest thing since the coming of Jesus in home game consoles but leave out any game. WeÂll make millions! And we can literally then laugh all the way to the bank because the consumer is too stupid to fight about it!Â
Guess what? That little prick of an exec is probably the same one getting off on pics of huge pixelated boobs during the marketing meetings. Sadly, after he was done getting his rocks off to the latest magazine cover highlighting the current disgrace of the gaming world, Scarlet Blade, he told them they should stop including two controllers as well. You knowÂ because I donÂt ever want to play a co-op game with anyoneÂ said nobody ever. And thatÂs my theory on why we get bent over every time a new system comes out. Got a better one? LetÂs hear it.
ThatÂs it for todayÂs show but tune in tomorrow for more from your harassing hooligan of the gaming world, Uncle Lester! Be sure to follow me on Twitter at @UncleLesterWIFI too or send me an email with your gamer topic at [email protected]!