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Five Haikus About the Elder Scrolls Online

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The cat-like Khajiit

Love moon-sugar and warm sands.

I still hate furries.


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Orsimer are elves,

Green of skin, thickly muscled.

Elves, man. Orcs are elves.


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Altmer believe in

Their own divine right to rule.

Kill all the humans!


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Bretons, meh. Nords, meh.

Most human races are lame.

Except for Redguards.


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MournholdNightOrdinator


Dunmer are NOT Drow.

There are no damned Dunmer Drizzts.

Suck it, Salvatore.


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ArgonianGroup


An Argonian

Says, "I AM THE LIZARD KING!"

Cries himself to sleep.


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Cyrodiil's bad boys,

The gangsta Imperials.

Pimp swag Ruby Throne.


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