Do You Like Green Engrams?

Do You Like Green Engrams?

By John Hoskin -
0

More Destiny, because no matter how much people complain about this game (I’m looking at you Angry Schmoe) everyone just keeps playing it, including me.  I love it so far and this video might be the best parody based on the game to date.

As always, if you’re looking for grammar or facts, you’ve come to the wrong place. 

Now, let’s get busy!

All You Need To Know About Destiny

First things first… keeping in the tone of last week’s column where I insinuated that Destiny is based on the nursery rhyme, Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star I give you this Dr. Seussism prompted by a post on Reddit.  Hats off to “Searchlights” on /r/DestinyTheGame for this little ditty based on his original.

Do you like green engrams?

That Cryptarch Man
That Cryptarch Man!
I do not like
that Cryptarch Man

Would you use
those green engrams?

I would not use them,
Cryptarch Man
I would not use
those green engrams.

Would you use them
Here or there?

I would not use them
here or there.
I would not use them
anywhere.
I would not use
those green engrams
I would not use them,
Cryptarch Man

Would you wear them
As your boot?
Would you use them
As your gun to shoot?

I would not use them
As my boot.
I would not use them
As my gun to shoot.
I would not use them
here or there.
I would not use them
anywhere.
I would not use those green engrams
I would not use them Cryparch Man

Would you wear them
on your chest?
Would they make you
be your best?

Not on my chest.
Not at my best.
Not as my boot.
Not my gun to shoot.
I would not use them here or there
I would not use them anywhere
I would not use those green engrams
I do not like them, Cryptarch Man

Would you? Could you?
in your ship?
Use them! Use them!
Let ‘em rip?

I would not,
could not,
in my ship

You may use them
You will beam
You may use them
in your Fireteam.

I would not, could not in my team.
Not in my ship! It’s a bad dream.
I would not use them on my chest.
They will not put me at my best
I would not use them as my boot
And never as my gun to shoot.
I would not use them in my ship
I will never let ‘em rip. 

You will not use them
So you say
Try them! Try them!
And you may
Try them and you may I say.

Cryptarch Man!
If you will let me be
I will use them
You will see.

Say!
I think I’ve finally got the handle.
For each green engram
I hit Dismantle!

Thank you!
Thank you.
Cryptarch Man!

Even Hitler has issue with the Cryptarch Man.


Vin Diesel Fact: Vin Diesel has a grizzly bear carpet in his house.  The bear isn’t dead.  It is just afraid to move.   

Now on to something more entertaining…

Because the real world is usually more humorous than the virtual one.   Here are some real world stories.  You can’t make this stuff up.

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 Thanks again.  I appreciate your support.   Who’s awesome?  You’re awesome!

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About The Author

John "Boomjack" Hoskin
Dissecting and distilling the game industry since 1994. Lover of family time, youth hockey, eSports, and the game industry in general.

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