Ganked! Sunday edition.
Ethec here to scrape the bottom of the barrel in our Sunday news you can't use piece! It's bad out there newswise, friends; next Sunday I might just have to strike out on my own a bit. You know, create some news in a less than diabolical or illegal manner. Or just put better stuff on the Saturday reject pile!
As usual, you can't make this stuff up:
- Yoga Makes Norwegian Inmates Unruly.
Apparently soothing "nature sounds" tapes unlock primal instincts, too.
- Boy Opts for Chopin over Beethoven, Crowd & Piano Teacher Squabble, Lawsuits Fly .
Kind of reminds me of my 4th-grade piano recital. Not.
- Teacher's Nightmare: Nine Sets of Grade-School Identical Twins
Nine to misbehave, nine to provide an alibi, none to rule them all and in disciplinary darkness bind them.
- Dog Escapes from Alcatraz, Swims 1.2 Miles In Cold, Heavy Currents
The "birddog" of Alcatraz was later seen growling at his owner. Apparently dogs don't have a penchant for stupid stunts like humans do.
- Man Goes Up Against Police With Medieval Weaponry
Man later seen playing rock-paper-scissors with Kim Jong Il.
- Research Indicates Men Physiologically Have Difficulty Hearing Women.
Men everywhere cheer! Then settle into a recliner with the TV remote.