Loading.... September 2, 2005
Jeff "Ethec" Woleslagle wrapping up the workweek here at TTH studios. You'll be ecstatic to learn that your friend and mine, John "Boomjack" Hoskin, returns on Monday to rescue you from my tripe. Many of you have written expressing concern for Boom; I assure you that he's doing well. At last report he'd left the circus for a elder's role in a Frisbyeterian Tent Revival. Boom was tragically lured to Brother Whammo's cause by the belief that after death that the frisbee of the soul goes up on the roof, and no one but the good Brother and his "holy handi-ladder" can get it down.
Sadly, the latest tent crusade outside Wasiphinokee, Wisconsin quickly grew into a standoff between the Fribyterians and federal agents when the FB's refused to hand over their soda- and pop-rock-laced frisbees. TTH will bring you continuing coverage from the rural Wisconsin standoff as soon as we can get a reported to write a story on it, but we're pretty sure Boomjack will see the light and return home in time for the Monday "Loading..." segment.
What's new and sort-of new around the Ten Ton Hammer communities:
MMOG Mailing List - See Left Menu For Details. No Purchase Necessary. Chance of success 100/100. Declared "morally bereft" in Beijing, Jinxian, and the Hebei Province of the People's Republic of China, and the French don't have nice things to say either.
- TTH's take on this truely revolutionary, classic, Chocobo-tastic MMOG.
- "yours truly" battles with EQ2's most pressing issues.
- Visual HO Guide
- Lycanthor of Highkeep brings us an easy-to-follow guide for these hard-to-execute skillchains.
Vanguard: Saga of Heroes
- The Classic EQ Druid vs. Vanguard's Natural Nukers
Let John "Boomjack" Hoskin know how much you really, really miss him by sending him a byline (email: firstname.lastname@example.org
) to this odd story out of Utah: "Wife in Grandma-Scamming Pair Falls Off of Truck, Husband Keeps Driving
And on to today's strange-but-true news. You can't make this stuff up...
- Japanese Movie Theater Offers Discounts to Geeks
Nerds and dorks file discrimination suit. Pocket protector sales rise 17%.
- German Woman Burns Down House to Exterminate Spiders
In other news, ends still don't justify means.
- Scientists Suspect Consumption of Human Remains Sparked "Mad Cow" Epidemic
Charlton Heston, like the suspect cows, regrets having anything to do with "Soylent Green"
- City Council to Limit Decibels Coming from Ice Cream Trucks
"Good Humor" man, mumbling and cursing, removes foghorn from van's roof, replaces with bicycle bell.
- Doctor Convicted of Vandalizing "Dogs Playing Soccer" Statues, Fined Heavily
"Dogs Playing Poker" neckties left untouched.
- 20,000 Candle Birthday Cake Blaze Requires Fire Department Assistance
In what might be construed as taking an "over the hill" gag just a little too far.