Ten Ton Hammer - Taking MMO Gamers to the Next Level!

By Coyote Sharptongue, Ten Ton Hammer's Resident Funnyman

Let me start by saying that I don't tend to do a lot of press tours.

This isn't by my design or intent, but more of a side effect to a genetic condition that is only know as "simply being me."

Unfortunately there are no obvious poop jokes in The Shadow Odyssey.

Simply is our key word here.

I am a man of simple pleasures and because of that I tend to laugh at life and take nothing too seriously. This is kind of the opposite mindset that things like press tours require. These tours are set up to show off an up and coming game or expansion and get the word out to the community.  There are high hopes of gaining a fair review written by informed and experienced gamers.

I - on the other hand - like to screw around and assault the crowd with a barrage of high velocity poop jokes.

Simple man, simple tastes.

When I was asked if I would be interested in attending the Beta Tour for SOE's upcoming fifth expansion to EverQuest II (my MMOG of choice), I was immediately overwhelmed, honored, and suspicious. Deeply suspicious. You see, the folks over at SOE know me and they know me well. We've had a long history of interactions and conversations and meetings, and if they were asking ME to go on a press tour, I figured it was either a cruel joke or an elaborate prank. Either way, I couldn't say no to the possibility of seeing The Shadow Odyssey before release, so I quickly agreed.

Much to my delight, it wasn't a hoax or trick, but an actual opportunity to walk through the expansion and see the ever changing world of EQ2 for myself.

Our small group consisted of four other members from the EQ2 community including: Brasse from "thebrasse.com" (expect some cartoons), Calthine from Zam, Dellmon from Online Gaming Radio, and Atrox from Stratics. We gathered in a circle around our tour guide, SOE's Community Manager Kiara, and were given items and buffs that ensured we could not be killed (which turns out to be incorrect under the stress of my testing) or attacked as we were lead through the new zones and instances that make up the bulk of the expansion.

We were also given new mounts to ride that will be available to crafters who complete one of the many new crafting quests, including raids (I kid you not, crafting RAIDS). These high run speed mounts add yet a new beast of burden to EQ2's already impressive list of ride-ready pets, and come with only one tiny little draw back:

They're frigging unicorns.

This makes me a pretty, pretty Princess [With a capital P!--Ed.] much to the delight of the screenshot snapping group. With our sparkling mounts prancing along, granting wishes to the six year old girls brushing our tails and manes, Kiara whisked us away to begin our first instance tour.