World of Warcraft at Ten Ton Hammer

Virginia & PARIS, December 4, 2008 — (NYSE: ERTS) and (Euronext Paris: VIV) Vivendi Entertainment announced today the signing of a definitive agreement to purchase Mythic Entertainment from Electronic Arts for an undisclosed amount. The deal,estimated to be worth several hundred million dollars, was paid for by an unnamed Blizzard executive on a personal debit card.

The most convoluted company name of all time.

"Three more major purchases and I get a free tank of gas!" He laughed, kissing the card before putting it back into his solid gold wallet.

Mythic is one of North America's largest MMOG publishers, and is best known for it's online games Dark Age of Camelot and Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning products.  They also hold the industry rights to terms such as "realm vs realm", "Witch Elf" and any published images of frenzied Europeans screaming "WAAAGH!" while rioting chaotically in the streets. Vivendi's interactive entertainment business which includes Blizzard Entertainment's World of Warcraft is expected to have over one cagillion dollars in pro forma during the 2008 fiscal year, surpassing eariler and more conservative estimates of one gagillionfofillion (USD).

Mike Morhaime, President and Chief Executive Officer of Blizzard stated: "We were talking one day about how we could implement great ideas into World of Warcraft more efficiently. Then it occurred to us! Instead of reverse engineering other peoples ideas, why not just BUY the people who are creating them and leave out the middleman?  They get to join "Team Epic Win" and we save money in production cost!  Sure, some people might complain about monopolies, but we still have competitors! I mean, look at games like Runescape and that other one...you know, the one with the stupid elfy guy and the hat."

Paul Sams, Chief Operation Officer of Blizzard took a much more somber approach to the merger as he stated:  "What? Dude, you're going to have to speak up. This huge wall of money between us is really muffling your question. Mythic Entertainment? Oh yeah, that's totally a solid buy The combined forces of these two great companies will ease the invasion of China we've been planning with the US government. That's has been declassified right?" He asks in hindsight before laughing and waving a dismissing hand. " Eh who cares? All we have to do is take the servers down and it will wreck havoc across 28 nations. We have the world by the short and curlies. Hell, we don't even pay TAXES anymore!"

Structure & Terms of Transaction

Under the terms of the agreement, Mythic games will be merged with Activision/Blizzard which will then be called Activision, Blizzard, Mythic, and Rosenbaum (for legal reasons, plus it sounds REALLY official and lawyer-like so everyone will be too afraid to mess with them) where not only will consumers find cutting edge videogames but affordable divorce law and legal advice. In the acquisition Electronic Arts will be given 200,000 copies of the World of Warcraft expansion Wrath of the Lich King which retails for slightly more than their current share price of $28.

Under the new terms General Manager and CEO of Mythic Mark Jacobs will now report to Paul Sams and will apologize for calling him "a sprinter and not a marathon runner" in reference to an earlier interview with Sams and clarify it was not an indication of his personal stamina. He will also be required to wear the newly created position's offical uniform which consists mostly of a gimp mask and leather thong.

In further management changes, Warhammer Online Greenskins will now report to World of Warcraft Orcs, and High Elves from both games will hold a beauty contest to see which one is merged into the other.  Warhammer Online will also be renamed World of Warhammercraft Online to further signify its identity as an offical Blizzard product.