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We'll turn you from this...

Do you like PvE, but wish you could make it in the cut throat world of RvR? Do you enter a scenario without the slightest clue of how to PvP? Tired of being called "n00b", "candyass", and being told "go back to Hello Kitty and learn how to play your class, loser!"? Want to impress the girls (or the sexy Dark Elves who are most likely guys, but you pretend they're girls because otherwise it's just DAMN creepy!)? Well, if you've been a PvP wimp and you want 1000% more pwn when you RvR, then you need Ten Ton Hammer's Secrets to Ultimate Pwnage!

 

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... into THIS!

Yes, with this little guide you'll no longer be getting the proverbial sand kicked in your face! Learn the RvR secrets to unlock your hidden potential and stop totally sucking NOW! Our other hardcore guides give you hard facts, gear essentials, and equations for the effectiveness of your stats, but this is the guide written specifically for PvP/RvR novices and comes complete with trash talking advice! So if you're a Care Bear who wants to RvR without getting the virtual wedgie, then keep reading!

 

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Squig Herder - "Chopper! Sic Balls!"

If you like pet classes and you like Slimer from "Ghostbusters", then have we got a class for you. Squig Herders are the ranged DPS class for the Greenskins and they provide a player who's not used to RvR a chance to do some serious damage and not have to be in the thick of things... that's a job for your squig! Your greatest defense as a Squig Herder is your size. You are short and short is good. If you strategically place yourself, you're hard to target so learn to hide behind people! You have a great amount of ranged attacks and add to that your Squig, and you should be top 5 in the DPS charts.

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I dunno Boss, I just fed him and he followed me home.

You have a few jobs as a Squig Herder, depending on where you're at at the time. Your first job is to find the healer or caster and tell Fido to "sic balls". Sending your squig to harass the healers and casters will help out the team overall. They don't do enough damage to kill a healer outright (unless they're ignoring him completely), but they do enough to make it easier for your frontline fighters to take them down faster. Now you start throwing your long range DPS into the mix with abilities like "Plink" and "Yer Bleedin'!" and that healer's got himself a problem. In RvR, you pretty much want to stay with your Spiked Squig as he does the greatest amount of damage for your buck. The best part about being a Squig Herder though? If your squig goes down, just fire up one of your others while you wait for the Spiked Squig timer to reset! The Gas Squig will be your best bet, as it will do casting style damage from range, but as the refresh timer gets close, quickly summon a Horned Squig and send him in. The reason for the switch is simple. You have an ability called "Farting Squig" (and no, I did not make that up) that causes your Squig to explode for AoE damage and allows you to instantly summon another Squig that's available to you. Since the timer will be refreshed by then, that will grant you an instant re-summon of your Spiked Squig.

Your other job is to root or snare people near your healer/casters with the ability "Sticky Squigs" and "Stop Runnin'!" so they can put some distance between them. Don't send your pet at them when you do this as any damage your rooted enemy takes now has a chance to break the root and grant a 5 second immunity to further rooting. As long as they don't take damage, they won't break the root and your healer/caster can get away from them. Also, your very first morale ability at level 8 will be a knockback called "Point Blank". Use this frequently on people attacking your caster, and if you position yourself right, you can knock them over walls, cliffs, bridges, etc. taking them out of the fight for even longer, so know your terrain!

Trash talk will involve references to your pet giving your enemies "kisses" (among other things), and references to your size, like "Nice going tough guy. Got your butt kicked by a midget. Gonna lose to a little girl next?"

 

Zealot - "Humans... and how Tzeentch loves you talking monkeys for this... know more about war and treachery of the spirit than any angel.

The Zealot is the fanatical healing class for the forces of Chaos. They... are freaking insane. Not like loopy insane, but like Gabriel from "The Prophecy" insane. From this zealous worship of the Raven God (hence the name Zealot), they draw the power to heal, do some damage, and drop a few debuffs. Zealots are a popular solo class for PvE, due to being the best healing class for Destruction and a decent casting class, but easy to play in RvR if you follow a few simple rules.

Rule#1: You're a healer, so quit trying to DPS! You don't have a ton of options for this so you'll never do enough to be top of the charts, but you are easily the best healing class for Destruction so there's no reason that you shouldn't be the top of the charts in healing for your team every time. With a plethora of direct heals like "Flash of Chaos" and "Elixir of Dark Blessings", as well as a bevy of Heals over Time (HoT's) like "Tzeentch's Cordial" and "Dark Medicine", the only person beating you in the healing category should be another Zealot.

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Ultimate COSMIC power!

Rule #2: If you're not healing, you should be spreading the debuffs, so quit DPS'ing! Zealots have the ability to give and remove debuffs and buffs. First your buffs. You have a few different buffs (called Marks) available to you and they should be given before the scenario or battle starts, and they should be tailored to the situation and the class. "Mark of Daemonic Fury" boosts strength and intelligence, so this should be given to fighters and casters. "Mark of the Spell Destroyer" is a boost to your initiative and willpower so this goes to your healers and melee DPS, although melee DPS can benefit from the strength boost too. Finally, "Mark of the Vortex" boosts your spell resistances. Now for your debuffs, and if we're talking Zealot debuffs then we're talking "Harbinger of Doom". Harbinger debuffs your enemies corporeal resistances and the longer it's on them, the higher that number goes so you want to get it on the enemy tanks early.

Rule #3: If you're done with one and two, you may go out and play... but only for a short while. A Zealot has a few DPS spells available to them, but in RvR, you'll only have time for your insta-cast spells. "Tzeentch's Cry" is a direct damage spell that does as much damage as "Scourge", but without the long casting time. "Warp Reality" is a DoT that's an instant cast, and it can be annoying to healers and casters because of their low hit points. If they don't realize it's on them, they'll suddenly lose a chunk of hit points they weren't expecting to lose with melee beating on them. Last, you have an insta-cast AoE in "Demon Spittle", which acts as an DoT over a large area. Once again, you may ONLY play outside after you've finished your chores, so if anyone's health is falling even a little bit, no DPS!

Above all, remember the healer's mantra, "I am a healer and I will die today... A LOT!", and keep those heals a'comin'!

Trash talking for a Zealot takes some imagination. You don't really kill that many people, so when you get a chance to do some one on one, you want to make it stand out. Your quips should involve your low DPS ability and how you were still able to take them down. draw up a few and test drive them through your friends. That way, you'll have several good ones to use that won't fall flat when the time comes.