The Level Cap Protest

EQ2 Humor by Coyotee Sharptongue

"Perfection. To obtain it they say is impossible. A goal forever just out of
grasp, teasing as it brushes your fingertips staying always out of reach." A
large cat-man holding a microphone look intently into the camera as he moves
towards a large gathering of angry looking warriors.

"But what about those who have achieved it? Those among us who have seen it
all, done it all, and have the best equipment, weapons and lifestyles that money
can buy? What happens when that impossible goal that they have achieved is again
moved out of reach? This is Coyotee Sharptongue for Ten Ton Hammer news bringing
you the true story." The Kerran says with a sweep of his hand, gesturing towards
the small mob gathered.

"What you see here is the latest protest to wash over the face of Norrath in
a tidal wave of outrage and disappointment." Coyotee explains as he moves
towards the group's leader.

"Standing with me today is local Raider, and self proclaimed voice of the
people Buish Flaymes." Coyotee introduces as a large man in immaculate gear
steps forward with a slight nod towards the camera. "Buish, can you tell us why
you've gathered today?" The reporter asks as he holds out his microphone.

"We've gathered today to protest additional training and seasons of
experience." Buish growls as the crowd behind him mimics the angry sound. "We're
here to protest injustice, we're here to say enough is enough and that we are
ALREADY the best of the best, and that we don't need to prove it any further
than what we have." He says with a yell as he raises his hand to the sky with a
grin as he winks at the camera.

"I don't understand." The reporter admits. "If you are the best of the best,
I would think that you would welcome a chance to grow - to become stronger,
bigger...better." Coyote states with a smile. "Why wouldn't you welcome this
opportunity to advance?" He asks as Buish laughs lightly at the question.

"Look Coyote, I'm at the top of my game." Buish chuckles as he puffs out his
chest a bit and grins into the camera. "I've got the best gear, the most
experience, and I've climbed to the very top of the mountain." He says with a
slight smile before sighing.

"But...if you say that I'm no longer the goal, if you say that I'm not longer
the pinnacle of perfection that you can reach - where does that leave me?" Buish
asks sadly as he waits for his answer.

Frowning slightly Coyotee shakes his head in misunderstanding.

"Couldn't you just...you know...go back out and work to get back towards the
top?" The Kerran reporter asks as he tilts his head.

"WHAT?!" The hulking warrior scoffs as he laughs in disdain. "Grind levels?
Run around killing monsters and doing quests like some sort of common
adventurer? What's next? Am I going to wear non-fabled gear and use player made
items?" Buish snorts in contempt as the crowd of supporters behind him laughs,
echoing his sentiments.

"Well..yeah." The reporter says as looks among those gathered. "What's wrong
with getting back out there and working your way back up?" He asks in
confusion.

"We shouldn't HAVE to work our way back up!" Buish growls as he turns to the
crowd. "We have ALREADY paid our dues! We've WON! We have BEATEN the adventure!"
He roars, inciting his followers to cheer loudly.

Blinking in disbelief Coyotee looks around before hefting his microphone.

"Um. But. you can't beat adventure." The cat-man says in a small voice as the
crowd instantly quiets.

"What..did you just say?" Buish asks dangerously as he turns to face the
reporter.

"It's an adventure." Coyotee points out with a nervous smile. "You...you
can't BEAT it. There's nothing to win...you just keep adventuring. Learning.
Getting stronger and better." He finishes as the warrior stares angrily at
him.

"I'm strong ENOUGH." Buish growls. "And THAT my furry little noob, is WHY
we've gathered today." He explains as he turns towards the camera.

"The gods think that they can simply make decisions amongst themselves
without consulting us? Their most cherished and accomplished children?" Buish
asks with a sneer as he hefts a large cloth sack.

Cries of "No!" and "We're not going to stand for it!" echo behind him,
voicing the group's outrage.

"Well we don't accept it." The Warrior says through clenched teeth.

"W..what can you do about it?" Coyotee asks hesitantly. "They're the gods,
the decision has been made." He points out as Buish reaches into the bag.

"We can protest." The fighter says simply as he pulls out a small glossy
circle and slaps it onto his chest. "We are Raiders Emerging Together Against
Re-leveling Decisions!" He says proudly as he points to each letter embossed on
the circle.

"...not the pins again." Coyotee says in a low voice as he covers his face
with his hands.

"That's right! We aren't going to STAND FOR THIS!" Buish roars as the crowd
behind him cheers in support, each slapping on the pin and passing the bag to
the person behind him.

"R.E.T.A.R.D.'s EVERYWHERE will refuse to fight! We will refuse to adventure!
And then where will you be? Your monsters will go unslain! Your battles
unfought! And who will you turn to when there is no adventure to be had?" Buish
asks proudly.

"A group of R.E.T.A.R.D.'S?" Coyotee says quietly, refusing to look up.

"EXACTLY!" Buish says with a smug grin as the other R.E.T.A.R.D.'s line up
behind him.

Looking from their leader back to those gathered in support the reporter
sighs and takes a deep breath as he turns towards the camera and lifts his
microphone.

"There you have it folks, the voice of reason." The Kerran begins as the
protestors stand proudly by. "The bar should stay in place, the top of the
mountain never spanning out of grasps as the best of the best stand proudly by,
basking in the glow of their accomplishments." Coyotee trails as his words bring
a larger smile to Buish's face.

"Read the pin for the camera." Buish whispers instructions as he thrusts out
his chest in pride.

"So there you have it, you can either accept the decision laid out by the
gods, lift your sword once more and work to achieve greatness once
more..."Coyotee says as he motions towards the small mob with his thumb.

"Or you can fight against it, bemoan your fate, and join the R.E.T.A.R.D.'s
as the petition the very gods to stop progression." He finishes as he shakes his
head. "This is Coyotee Sharptongue for Ten Ton Hammer news saying..." Coyotee
looks over at Buish and sighs.

"Don't be a R.E.T.A.R.D." The reporter ends, tossing the microphone at the
protest leader's feet as he walks away shaking his head.

"What did he just call us?" One of the mob members asks as he looks down to
read his pin.

"OH SON OF A BI-" Buish cries out, but is cut off as the camera fades to
black.

*end*