you bored while raiding? Guild giving you a hard time? Tired of using
that same old shot rotation over and over again? Feel like having a few
good laughs? Well I have the solution for you!
If you want to put some spice back into the World of Warcraft you
simply need to take my free course on how to excel at being a Huntard.
“Isn’t being a Huntard a bad thing,” you
say. No, my friend, I assure you, being a Huntard will add a whole new
aspect to the game you have never experienced before. I guarantee that
if you follow the ten simple steps below you will be amazed at the
extra enjoyment you gain. Ignore those haters who will belittle your
Huntard skills, they too wish they could be Huntards.
Without further ado here are the ten simple steps you need to become a
Arrows/Ammo? I Don’t Think So.
Venture to Razor Hill, or Dolanaar depending on your respective
faction, proceed to purchase the cheapest ammo/arrows available. Why
buy that expensive stuff when these can be bought from a vendor for
less? Use these in your next raid, you should see a significant DPS
difference, and your raid will too.
To Feign Death
We’ve all been there, wanting to get up from our computers
for whatever reason, urgent or not, during a pull. You will be pleased
to know that if you succeed in becoming a Huntard you will be able to
get up whenever the urge strikes you! Simply Feign Death, and walk
away. Take that bathroom break, grab another beverage, check your
e-mail, or text your friends.
On the other hand, if you don’t want to get up, but
don’t feel like doing much of anything, simply sit back and
observe the raid. Remark over vent or in guild chat exactly what each
individual is doing wrong, do not offer suggestions to fix said
problems. Ideally both of these should be applied during a boss fight,
however they will also work during any and all trash pulls.
Keep in mind your fellow raid members will be extremely envious of your
newfound ability and may offer up rude comments as a way to express
their jealousy. Ignore these comments as you can totally appreciate why
they would be jealous.
Or Not to Feign Death
In this step you will learn how to apply the opposite of step 2 in your
raiding. This should also be employed during a boss fight, however once
again this can be used during trash with lesser effect.
To begin, disable your threat meter, it will only distract you. If you
find yourself getting the urge to hit Feign Death often, remove this
spell from your bar while attempting this step. Finally, all you must
do is what hunters do best - DPS, DPS, DPS. If you pull agro from your
tank, then clearly the tank needs to improve their skills. If cries of
“FEIGN DEATH!” come across vent or guild chat, your
raid wipes, or you die personally, explain calmly that you were simply
doing your job. Hunters are a DPS class. There is no reason you should
have to stop said DPS to Feign Death. Instead, your tank should simply
Leave Growl On
Did you know that stifling your pet’s base urge to growl
makes it more likely to die in combat? It’s true, just like
jumping while running makes you run faster. It’s totally
natural for your pet to growl, and really why should you have to do all
that extra work to remember to turn it off all the time? There is no
reason that it cannot be active at all times. In fact, once again, this
could give your tank a bit of a challenge, helping them hone their
abilities, and World of Warcraft is all about improving. If your tank
can’t handle it, obviously you need to recruit a new one.
Aspect of the Noob (err I
As you can see while learning to be a Huntard you will learn many new
things. Another little known fact about Hunter DPS is that Aspect of
the Pack actually improves your DPS while making you and your raid run
faster. For maximum effect I would suggest using this new strategy on
Thaddius in Naxxramas, however all bosses or trash will do. If your
raid has the audacity to tell you to turn this valuable ability off,
exclaim loudly that it helps your DPS and you are shocked that no one
appreciates your generosity. You could simply be using Aspect of the
Cheetah, but no, kind person that you are, you wanted to help out the
rest of the raid as well.
Everything is a Hunter Weapon
This is one of the most important rules when transforming yourself into
a Huntard. Everything is a Hunter weapon without question, and it
should be rolled on accordingly. Part of really being a Huntard is
understanding that your loot privileges are above those of the other
inferior classes. Do not hesitate to roll on every single weapon that
drops. For an extra bonus exclaiming “HUNTER
WEAPON!” over vent gives added affect. Don’t bother
to look at the stats, that just wastes time - just roll. Even if the
weapon is unable to be used by Hunters, roll. Blizzard will in time
realize that Hunters should be able to use it and fix the problem.
Misdirect is a valuable tool and by thinking outside the box you can
use it to improve your raid performance. Everyone knows that healers
really don’t do anything at all, and sometimes need a wake-up
call. To keep them on their toes, simply misdirect the nearest trash
mob to them, or wait until the boss pull and instead of misdirecting
the tank, misdirect the squishie. If they happen to die, obviously you
were right and they were sleeping at the keyboard again. Typical
healer. This lesson can also be used on Warlocks, Mages, and anyone
else who you feel needs to understand the words of Alastor
“Mad Eye” Moody, “CONSTANT
VIGILANCE!” While you’re at it, you may want to
also ask your shamans to have Windwall Totem down at all times. You
never do really know when those ninja archers will sneak up on you.
Nothing is more boring or frustrating than standing around waiting for
a boss to be pulled. This can happen for various reasons; your raid
leaders have gotten into a boring strategy talk, someone decided to go
to the bathroom, or someone decided they just had to go back to Dalaran
to get a gem for their new piece of gear. Whatever the reason, Huntards
know how to fix the situation. By ninja pulling the boss you are
standing in front of and Feigning Death to enjoy watching the entire
raid die in one fell swoop, you are helping your raid become better at
situational awareness, and also helping shorten those waiting times
before the pull. Who wants to stand around and chat or go afk when the
boss could be pulled at any second? This way is much more exciting than
waiting for the traditional ready check.
As a side note, due to your humble personality,
never admit that it was
you who pulled boss. Even if someone sees you, or if you are the only
Hunter in the raid; deny, deny, deny.
My personal favorite, is realizing that Hunters can melee as
well as ranged DPS. Leave your ranged weapon in the bank,
ditch those caster sissies hiding in the back and run head on into boss
fights with the melee DPS. Once again, commentary over vent is needed.
Use phrases such as “Wow guys, you should see how much damage
I’m doing with my weapon(s),” or “I just
got a **** melee crit!” Keeping your own personal damage
meter running and posting the results after the boss fight is also a
great idea. By choosing to do this step you will help dispel myth that
Hunters are only good for ranged damage.
You might be a Huntard if...
The final step in becoming
a Huntard is one you may or may not have already completed and is
the simplest step of all. If you read this article, and seriously
considered these steps to be rational, you might be ready to be
After completing these steps you will officially join the ranks to the
legendary Huntard. Congratulations! Join us on our forums to share your
epic Huntard stories.
Jason Bechdel and Ten Ton Hammer are not responsible for any guild
removal, server blacklisting, friend loss, or anything else that may
happen to the player as a result of these steps. Use at your own risk.