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World of Warcraft is a huge part of my life. I won’t lie.
I’m more than a little addicted and play more than I should
in any given week. I’ve met my share of good friends in the
years I’ve been playing, quite a few of which are real life
couples who enjoy playing together. I’ve watched WoW romances
bloom before my eyes, sometimes quietly and sweetly, and sometimes with
enough drama to make Jerry Springer drool. I’ve listened
quietly while friends told me of their girlfriends/boyfriends leaving
because of the game, and I’ve watched marriages fall to
pieces.



Personally I’ve always considered myself lucky. My wife has
played the game with me almost from day one and is very understanding
of my addiction. Over the years we have gotten any number of
compliments ranging from “Oh you guys are such a great
couple, you seem so happy.” to “I don’t
know how you make it work especially with a child.”. I can
assure you, that our marriage isn’t perfect. We
aren’t always happy with each other, arguments happen, and
making time for WoW while balancing other aspects of our life is very
difficult. We have also spent extensive time with other couples who
play WoW, and after speaking with them we realized we all do the same
thing to keep our marriage and lives in tact.



A couple who both enjoy playing should make an honest attempt
to take time out of the game. This may sound easy, but it’s
not. My wife and I are both guilty of losing track of time and spending
all day playing. Take time before raids, spend it with each other and
the rest of family.This will obviously leave less farming time, but
trust me, it’s worth missing. Join a guild that will allow
you and your significant other to play together. Playing in different
guilds, even on the same server, can be a very bad idea.
Don’t eat at the computer. Sitting down to dinner together is
a great way to become closer and puts what is really important into
perspective. Do date nights, don’t forget that you picked
your significant other for a reason, enjoy each other’s
company and don’t let WoW dominate the conversation (this
really annoys my wife).  Never bring your arguments to the
game. It’s unnecessary  and when you begin to play
you may find that your troubles will simply melt away. Be ready to
quit. Yes, that’s right. If playing WoW causes to many
issues, you need to give it up. Never, ever let a game become more
important than those you care about in real life.



For couples with only one person who enjoys playing, it’s
even more complicated as the person who does not play can feel left out
and abandoned, especially if they themselves can not understand the
draw of a video game. There are forum groups and sites set up just for
“WoW Widows” that show the extent of the problem.
I’ve watched a few marriages/relationships break up directly
or indirectly because of a WoW addiction, sometimes at the fault of the
player, but not always. In times past, I’ve even played with
a fellow who’s wife would stand behind him while he raided to
be sure that he didn’t speak with any of the women in the
guild because she was convinced that they were all out to steal her
husband. Needless to say, the marriage didn’t work out.



For couples like this, the rules are basically the same, except perhaps
even more important to follow. Take time out and spend time with your
significant other, and try to talk about other things besides the game.
A person who does not play is really not going to care if your guild
managed to kill Lord Jaraxxus on your first attempt. Once again, make
time for your family, take off for the weekend and go camping, or take
your significant other to that movie he or she has been dying to see.
Do try to make it seem like you want to be there. Driving 90
miles an hour to get back home so you can play again is not a good
idea, nor is checking your watch every 10 minutes. Ask that special
someone from time to time if they would like to make an attempt at
playing. While the answer  may probably be
‘no,’ by asking you are letting that person know
that you want to get them involved. While there are many things the WoW
player can do to make their relationship run smoother, it is not
completely up to them. The other person in the relationship has to be
willing to be able to accept the gamers WoW time. If not, then much
misery will ensue.

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If you are not yet married, and your girlfriend/boyfriend hates when
you play, and is constantly nagging you, keep in mind that this will
NOT change once you are husband and wife. Am I saying dump your
boyfriend/girlfriend if they hate WoW? No, as long as you can reconcile
yourself with the fact that it will most likely be a long rocky road
ahead that may result in giving up WoW entirely, or coming home from
work to find your clothes out on the lawn. My suggestion would be to
try to find someone who has a love for video games as well, or at least
doesn’t despise them.



Not all relationships are formed outside the game. It only stands to
reason that spending three or more nights a week with the same people
over and over again, that eventually some relationships will bloom.
Especially since flirting is an inevitable part of the game. Everyone
does it, even people in committed relationships. Hardly anyone notices
they do it, and most the time it’s fairly innocent, but
sometimes it can turn into more. Add to that, most people act at least
slightly different, if not completely different, when in game and you
have the recipe for some serious trouble. It’s hotly
debated if these usually long distance relationships can withstand the
test of time and real life problems.  I’ve
personally seen a little of both, therefore my opinion on the matter is
these relationships can certainly work, however caution should be taken
before getting involved.

In one of my previous guilds I had the pleasure of watching two of my
very good friends fall into gaming love. One had just come out of a
divorce, and the other had never been married. But after spending over
a year and a half together, it was undeniable that they had something
together. They decided to meet, sparks flew and he moved across the
country to be with her. They beat the odds and the critics, and while
they no longer play WoW, they are still very much in love and I believe
there are baby talks in the works.



Now before we all drown in mushy gushy gunk there is also a darker side
to World of Warcraft relationships. There are some who play who use
love and other temptations for their own personal gain, and of course
those who think what they have is real only to fall apart once real
life problems have to be dealt with.



For example I’ve played witness to a certain someone who in
turn seduced at least four of my guild members. These guild members
were head over heels for this person and honestly believed that she was
meant to be with them, and they lavished this person with gifts upon
her request. They completely ignored the fact that she was already
married, and her husband was even part of the guild. Once she had what
she wanted from each of these people (special mounts, gold, etc), she
would dump them and leave them brokenhearted and confused. The drama
that was caused by all of this was part of the guild’s
downfall.



The lesson from this story? . If you know the person you care about is
married, just say no unless they become single again. If they are
single, no one who really cares about you will expect fancy items to
keep them happy.If the person you are interested in demands items in
exchange for their commitment, run away without looking back. And
finally if your sweety seems to be getting close and personal with
other guild members, you may want to give it more than passing thought.




A second example, while I didn’t witness it first hand, was
published quite loudly all over the internet for a while. In this case
the person left their family, to be with someone else who they felt
they were destined to be with. Once arriving and spending time in this
new relationship, the person realized that perhaps this was not the
right choice, and decided to go back home to her family. The story
could end peaceably here, however I am sorry to say that it
doesn’t. While this person had her family back, the third
party in this situation was left out in the cold. In
retribution, risqué photos that were given to this
person by the other were posted prominently on the guild’s
website. I am fairly certain the guild fell apart shortly after.

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So next time you are thinking about sending that certain someone
compromising pictures, you may want to rethink it, because it can come
back to haunt you. But the more important lesson here is to realize
that while these relationships can work, you can’t really
know how they will withstand real life situations until you have tried
it out. In the World of Warcraft there are no real problems, no real
stresses, so a couple will never really be tested. Instead of rushing
into something and leaving your family and friends behind, try trail
meetings, spend the week together, then longer, and go from there.
Rushing into anything is almost never a good idea.



Love is never an easy subject no matter the situation. Adding World of
Warcraft to the mix leaves a wildcard factor that can’t ever
be predicted. Caution should be taken, and smart choices should be
made, otherwise you may find yourself and/or your relationship being a
topic of casual conversation for years to come.



Join us on our forums and share with us your happy and horrid stories
of WoW love, or simply share your tips for keeping your relationship
alive and well while playing World of Warcraft.