WoW Relationship Advice with Witch Doctor Zuv’jin

Asking those hard to describe questions about your relationship is difficult, especially when the people you trust most may be biased in one way or another.

those hard to describe questions about your relationship is
difficult, especially when the people you trust most may be biased in
one way or another. Add World of Warcraft to the mix and things get
downright confusing. Thankfully Witch Doctor Zuv’jin is ready
and willing to answer any and all questions directly relating to your
WoW relationship.

Don’t let the title of Witch Doctor put you off,
Zuv’jin is a bona fide love guru, who studied at the
exclusive Shrunken Head Academy located in scenic Durotar. After many
years of study Zuv’jin has finally branched out on his own,
offering up advice for those hard to answer relationship questions and
a wide array of

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The guru of love: Witch Doctor

potions for any occasion. Now without further adieu let’s see
some of those burning relationship questions and what the Doctor
himself has to say.

Our first question comes from Kib who hails from the outer reaches of
Northrend. He writes:

Dear Witch Doctor Zuv’jin,

I recently began a relationship with an attractive Undead Rogue I met
while prowling around the Barrens. She likes long walks along the
beaches of Northrend, sipping Thistle Tea in the inn in Orgrimmar,
and frolicking from puddle to puddle in Zangarmarsh. I think
she may be the perfect girl for me, except she refuses to send me any
pictures, and when I finally managed to get her on vent her voice had a
deep ringing quality to it. She of course quickly explained she had
been feeling sick, hence the deep voice, however I am worried as of
lately she has started demanding I present her with gifts daily,
including thousands of gold, rare items, and even epic mounts purchased
on EBay. Tell me Doctor, is this relationship worth it?

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have some bad news for you brudder, that lady friend of yours be a
dude. Everybody know that there be no girls on da internets. This dude
probably be at least 40 years old, with back hair you could get lost in
and you be buying gifts for him! While it may seem natural for a Rogue
to try to rob you blind Zuv’jin be sayin’ get out
while you can mon. If you doubt Zuv’jin he recommend the
Syndicate who recently be offering the detective services. They be
showin’ you the truth.

Our next question comes from Tholan, who sets his hearthstone deep in
the jungles of Stranglethorn Vale, he writes:


I am happily married to the woman of my dreams, or so I thought.
Recently she has started taking offense to me devoting so much time to
World of Warcraft. She has even gone so far as to threaten to pack her
things and leave if I do not give up the game. I don’t want
to give up the game, but I don’t want to see my wife
either, what should I do?

Tholan, style="font-style: italic;">
be very unhappy with you not showin’ the proper respect and
using his title of Witch Doctor. He be havin’ half a mind not
to be answering your question, you be lucky Zuv’jin be
feeling generous today.
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question be a tough one, but Zuv’jin has the answer
don’t you worry. Zuv’jin be saying World of
Warcraft is forever, wives come and go. You don’t be
needin’ her nagging you all the time while you trying to
play. You be much happier when you can play as you please. Not to
mention all the extra closet space you be freeing up. If you be getting
lonely simply create yourself a fiesty little Night Elf to dance with
you, computer graphics never be telling you not to play.
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Our final question of the day comes from Fayne who makes his home in
good old Durotar, he writes:

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Never have another broken
heart again!

Witch Doctor Zuv’jin,

I love my girlfriend, but she can’t seem to understand that
playing World of Warcraft is hard work. She refuses to hold my potty
pot for me, and to add insult to injury she will not deliver the
sustenance I need by bringing me Hot Pockets and Kool-Aid every hour on
the hour. My friends seem to be in agreement that I am asking too much,
but I feel it’s her responsibility since she is the one who
insisted we move out of my Mom’s basement. I don’t
want to lose her Doctor Zuv’jin, but how can I make her see
things my way?

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be thinking that you should have picked yourself up a nice Troll girl,
they knows how to treat a man right. Since you don’t have a
Troll girl, Zuv’jin be saying you need to put your foot down.
She be your woman and your woman should take care of you, especially
since she take you away from your loving Mama.
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that not be workin you come back and see Zuv’jin and he be
brewing you up a potion that will make your woman your unquestioning
servent. It not be tested on human females yet, but Zuv’jin
be thinking that it will work just fine, or it might turn her into a
frog. Either way it be a win win situation, you either be getting the
girlfriend of your dreams, or some tasty frog legs. In which case
Zuv’jin would have to ask for a small fee of half of the frog
in question. Zuv’jin be lovin him some frog.

That’s all the time we have for today, we hope you enjoyed
this episode of Relationship Advice with Witch Doctor
Zuv’jin. Feel free to send in your tough relationship
questions by using any of the mail boxes located in the all of your
faction’s major cities.

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About The Author

Amunet, also fondly known as Memtron, is an organic life form best known for its ongoing obsession with Blizzard Entertainment's numerous properties. To that end, Amu has authored hundreds (thousands?) of the most popular World of Warcraft guides, editorials, and Top 10 lists on the planet. When not gaming and writing, Amu is busy chasing after her three children in a perpetual loop of ongoing disaster.

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