by Byron Mudry on Apr 08, 2006
12 Step Program to make World of Warcraft Your Life
Step 1 Honesty. Admit you have an addiction and embrace it
Step 2 Faith. Believe in your heart that you need to make WoW your only source of social interaction.
Step 3 Surrender. Avoid all eye contact with real world people.
Step 4 Disassociation. Disconnect your phone line and black out all outside windows
Step 5 Deception. Fake your death and hang a Building Condemned sign on your front porch.
Step 6 Willingness. Become willing to burn all real life social bridges.
Step 7 Soul Searching. Search inside yourself for any evidence of your soul and CRUSH IT. Dont allow guilt to drive you out of your hovel and tempt you to reach out to all those real life people you are ignoring.
Step 8 Making Contact. Play WoW with the fantasy that toons you meet in game are potential dating sources.
Step 9 Family. Try to remember that guilds are your true ideal family structure. Your real world family is inconsequential and a potential source of decreasing your online time.
Step 10 Maintenance. Create evil alt toons as a healthy outlet for any inherent antisocial behaviors.
Step 11 Humility. Try to forget that your future super-decked-out-epic-equipped toon will be completely meaningless to about 99.99% of real world people and even the vast majority of WoW players are generally unimpressed with the sum output of months of effort on your part.
Step 12 Knowledge. Learn that little white pills and other nefarious eye opening recreational tools are not just for truckers. When used in conjunction with WoW they can help turn you into a drooling in-game vegetable within only a few short months.