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Today is Friday the 13th. For the superstitious types out there that means you won't read this until tomorrow. I hope you enjoyed the day in your closet. Now you know how Tom Cruise feels.

15 more wins until the Sabres are Stanley Cup Champs. Buy your T-shirt now. Islanders fans can send their hate-mail directly to me. I even found a keyboard that you would probably like.

Jeff Woleslagle and Cody Bye had enough of my humour and before I could suggest that the city be called "Giantopolis" again, they were winging their way to Minneaopolis for the Independent MMO Developers Conference.

The boys will be chatting with industry legend Dr. Richard Bartle, the always information Brian Green and talking dirty talk with Ms. Kelly Rued, the designer of a "unique fantasy MMORPG for adventurous adults". Full transcripts of the dirty talk will be available on our 1-900 number.

Byron, one of the crazy bananas that acts as community manager on our World of Warcraft site pointed me to a story (I'll go with fake) about a woman (picture tells me its a crossdresser) that offered to mount up in real-life for a "sexy time" in return for 5000 gold piece to buy an epic mount in WoW. You can check out a pick of this creature right here. I'd post the picture in the blog and newsletter, but it simply won't show up. Don't ask! Shakes fist!

Here is the supposed advertisement that she (he?) posted on Craigslist, though I can't verify it myself since I can't find head nor tails (pun intended) of the original.

"Hello. I need 5000 world of gold for my epic flying mount. In return you can mount me. You have to have an account on the laughing skull server and I want the 5000 gold BEFORE we do anything, we can make the trade at your place since I can’t host. EDIT. Because I am having a lot of dumb guys message me who clearly don’t have the gold make SURE to send: a picture of yourself and a screenshot of your character with the 5000g, I will be checking armory profiles, thanks.

I play a level 70 night elf druid and would prefer someone who was into roleplaying (I have a costume) but honestly anyone will do, as long as you have the gold. I would also be ok with a woman too, as long as you have the gold! "

Shouldn't zombie-lady be paying someone to have sex with her? This has to be the coup of her lifetime. Her days of flashing a pasty, white ankle at renaissance faires are over.

This has become the second funniest Craigslist advertisement of all time behind, "Safety Not Guaranteed" [**sound**]

Do you have a funnier advertisement clanking around in your cranium? Let's hear it, see it....

[Vote, rank, share, comment!]

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Today's Exclusive TenTonHammer.com Content!

04.13.2007

IMGDC: Ten Ton Hammer Kicks Off LIve IMGDC Coverage
"Can something fresh and exciting with lasting appeal come from an energetic developer without the creative chains and deep pockets of a major publisher? This is the theme of the Indie MMO Game Developers Conference, held on April 14th and 15th in Minneapolis, MN, and Ten Ton Hammer is live to bring you the latest from perhaps the most vibrant and exciting segment of the MMO games industry!" Blog: Ralsu's Curse
"Ralsu mistakenly referred to his co-worker and friend Shayalyn as an "aggro magnet" and called her cursed. Shayalyn sets the record straight in this week's Vanguard newsletter. You can check out the blog and stay up to date with all of this week's Vanguard: Saga of Heroes news at Shay's Treehouse." Blog: Do Dreams Come True?
"Xerin takes a look back at an interview from December 2005 between a few members of the guild "Lobster Brood". Xerin examines what their wishes for the future expansion was and how things turned out. So take a look back and see how Pandas and Blood Elves in Orgrimmar are slightly related (not)." Dungeons and Dragons Online: Guide To Level 3 Cleric Spells
"Serenity guides us through the ins and outs of Bestow Curse, Water Breathing and all the spells in between with her excellent guide to 3rd level cleric spells!" EverQuest 2: Enduring Being Evil
"The choice of an evil versus good race should be based on the preference of a player, but is there more to it? Are there greater challenges facing those choosing the dark side? RadarX points out a few inconsistencies and gets lost in Freeport." Vanguard: Healing Guide For Druids
"For a long time, Druids have been healers in MMOs. Vanguard breaks the mold, making the Druid a versatile arcane caster who can heal in a pinch. Mensis talks about the ways a Druid can heal." Wiki: WoW Patch Notes
"The Ten Ton Hammer WoW Wiki Patch Notes section has been updated once again. This update brings you an easier-to-navigate menu outlining each individual patch." World of Warcraft: Alchemy Guide
"To all of you Alchemist out there our in-depth Alchemy guide has been updated with a list of of the known 300 to 375 recipes. These are the recipes that are mostly found in Outland by Master Alchemists. This isn't just any ordinary list, of course, it's a very detailed list including many items with our opinion on their effectiveness. Stay tuned for more Alchemy guide updates in the near future with the coming of patch 2.2!" World of Warcraft: Tier 4 Armour Set Information
"You've made your way to level 70 and now want to raid in the Burning Crusade. So, where do you go to get the next raid armor set? Which bosses drop which tokens? Check it all out in our guide to the Raid Tier 4 Armor Set."

Hot Content

IMGDC: Ten Ton Hammer Kicks Off LIve IMGDC Coverage Dreamlords: Review Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - UI Database NetDevil Celebrates Auto Assault Anniversary With Q&A Pirates of the Burning Sea: Exclusive Screenshots Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Ten Ton Armour Project Archlord: Review Lord of the Rings Online: Hands-on Preview Gods and Heroes: Developer Diary - Introducing The Nomad Fury: Interview With C.E.O., Tony Hilliam Lord of the Rings Online: Beta Recap

Real World News - You Can't Make This Up

T.Rex Thigh Reveals Chicken Family Ties [Thanks Matt]
Insert thighmaster or Michael J. Fox joke here. The Chork: Chopsticks + Fork Fusion [Thanks Matt]
Eating Hot and Sour Soup still spork territory. Eclipse of Black Hole [Thanks Matt]
During an eclipse does it light up?

Vin Diesel Fact: Metallica lets Vin Diesel download all their songs off the internet for free.

Thanks as always for visiting TenTonHammer.com

- John "Boomjack" Hoskin