Be A Flasher

Welcome to the 760th Edition of Loading...

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Daily Column

Loading... It's like groundhog day, except you're the groundhog. Do we have three more decades of MMOG gaming?

Are you looking for fancy-pants pictures of Cody Bye in a speedo? Your wish is my command.

I will be winging my way to the land where the streets have a television show named after them (San Francisco) for GDC this month. I believe we land and begin gobbling Rice-A-Roni on the 18th, returning to our nests on the 22nd. If any of you are going to be in San Fran during this time and want to hook up for a beer or a punch in the nose (or both in Cody's case) then please drop me a line. We met rooms full of fans at BlizzCON last year and although GDC isn't a "fan" event we don't mind hanging out with developers if they promise to keep their hands to themselves. In fact Garrett, Jeff and Cody already have some developer hook-ups set to go.

SOE Fan Faire, as the name so subtly implies is a fan event. We don't know the dates for this one just yet, but as of now it looks like September 4-7 in Las Vegas is the players' choice. Go vote for your favourite location/date. I expect that we will have a few designated hand-shakers and tail-slappers at this event as well.

I don't has a mind-bending topic for this Friday edition of Loading... It's a shame really. The Porno-Girls site we discussed yesterday was a great topic. Apparently that site once had topless pictures on it. Go figure! See, it was all about the games after all.

Metaplace made its public debut yesterday. We don't attempt to cover "virtual worlds", but it's a slow day and this is what you get when nobody is attempting to start up something controversial. Metaplace is the Raph Koster (Ultima Online, Star Wars Galaxies) project that intends to make creating worlds (or games?) something that is more readily accessible to the public. Here is how the developers describe it.

"Our motto is: build anything, play everything, from anywhere. Until now, virtual worlds have all worked like the closed online services from before the internet took off. They had custom clients talking to custom servers, and users couldn't do much of anything to change their experience. We're out to change all of that.

Metaplace is a next-generation virtual worlds platform designed to work the way the Web does. Instead of giant custom clients and huge downloads, Metaplace lets you play the same game on any platform that reads our open client standard. We supply a suite of tools so you can make worlds, and we host servers for you so that anyone can connect and play. And the client could be anywhere on the Web.

We hope there will be millions of worlds made with Metaplace. It could get hard to find stuff if we're right, so the portal lets you easily search, rate, review, and tag worlds and games of all sorts. You also get a user profile so you can find each other."

There you have it. I'm not sold on it personally, though the millions upon millions of you who enjoy Flash browser games are probably licking your lips in an...an... anticipation. Unlike many members of the blogosphere and press I'm not on the Raph bandwagon. The fact is, I really don't care if the developers like me or not. I've got enough friends. Fortunately for you, this means that I can just call it like I see it. Unfortunately for you, this means that some of the devs won't speak to me. Some of them are a bit like rockstars. It goes like this:

Boomjack: I don't particularly enjoy your music.

Rockstar: What, you piss-ant! I wanna rock right now! I'm developer A and I came to get down. I'm not internationally known, but I'm known to rock the microphone. Because I get stoopid, I mean outrageous.

Boomjack: Yeah, so anyway...

Rockstar: Ladies love me. Girls adore me. I mean even the ones that never saw me.

Boomjack: Have I got a site for you to visit....

Back to business. Raph is one of the developers who doesn't act like a rock star. There are many. He is one. Raph does choose who he speaks to and when very carefully. He has delivering seminars at shows like GDC down to an art. He is great at getting gamers to listen to him, because he speaks frequently and posts to his blog daily. He is adept at generating buzz around his projects, so back to his project.

Metaplace currently doesn't have a 3D client (work in progress), but it does have 2d isometric, 2.5d heightfields, etc.

Maybe I just don't get it, but I'm not especially excited about this project. It's great that people can create their own games, but I'd prefer that a professional did it. I already have enough games created by amateurs clogging my hard drive. They sit patiently waiting for the day that World of Warcraft, EVE Online or other professionally built games fall into a state of lethargy. With Age of Conan, Warhammer Online and Stargate Worlds on the horizon will I even try any of these flash games? Maybe I will, but I can't imagine playing them as my main form of entertainment. Who knows? Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised.

Are you all over this Metaplace project? Tell me so in the Loading... forums.

Do you feel the need to contact me personally with naughty pictures? Here's my E-mail.

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19 new MMOG hand-crafted articles today! 19 so far in February! 296 so far in 2008!

New MMOG Articles At Ten Ton Hammer Today

Age of Conan: Artbook Preview - Dungeons Age of Conan: PvP vs. PvE in Age of Conan EverQuest 2: In Honor and Service Quest Guide EverQuest 2: Return to the Island of Doctor Patch Notes Lord of the Rings Online: Weekly Troll Report Tabula Rasa: Video Tour of Valverde Marshes Tabula Rasa: Six New Screenshots of Veteran Rewards Tabula Rasa: Forean Hybrid Access Mission Guide Tabula Rasa: Torcastra Prison Guide Tabula Rasa: Timora Mines Tabula Rasa: Minos Caverns Ten Ton Hamster: Which MMOG Are You Most Excited About? Vanguard: SOE Fan Faire or Bust Webkinz: New Pet Of The Month Webkinz: Arcade Game Guide - Home Before Dark World of Warcraft: Extended Rogue Guide - Tactics World of Warcraft: Guide to Slash Commands World of Warcraft: Hunter Talent Guide World of Warcraft: A Review of the Trading Card Game Art Book

Hot Content - Or, what I took a fancy to

World of Warcraft: A Review of the Trading Card Game Art Book EverQuest 2: Return to the Island of Doctor Patch Notes Age of Conan: PvP vs. PvE in Age of Conan Warmonger Operation: Downtown Destruction Review Lord of the Rings Online: New Social Clothing Screenshots From Book 12 GameOver Podcast #11 - Coyote and the Vikings Age of Conan: Developer Panel Transcript Dungeons and Dragons Online: Hands-on With Module Six EverQuest 2: Epic Weapon Concept Art Dungeons and Dragons Online: Module Six and Seven Interview with Kate Paiz

Real World News

Parent Power Pulls Woolworth's 'Lolita' Kiddies Bed [Thanks Karen]
Still unclear where the parents were pulling the bed. Man Views Porn on Nun's Computer [Thanks Karen]
Holy Pornography Sister!

Thanks as always for visiting TenTonHammer.com

- John "Boomjack" Hoskin and the Ten Ton Hammer Team