by John Hoskin on Jul 04, 2006
My apologies to Jeff Butler and to the 4,362 readers who wrote me to tell me that he is part of the Vanguard: Saga of Heroes team and not the Auto Assault team as I wrote yesterday. I'm not sure why I wrote Auto Assault. I must have been reliving a road rage moment. While we're on the topic and we have the ear of at least one person who knows Jeff, let's get some tricked-out chariots or ultra-trimmed-up carts pulled by uber oxen in the game; even better if we can fire lances from the horns of the ox at our enemies. All hail the bovine missile line!
It is hot and humid here today and not necessarily in that order. It's so humid that I just saw a fish swim by my window. I think it was a deviate fish. (WoW humour, the rest of you move along, nothing to see here.)
Train! Anyone who ever played or knew a person who played EverQuest just had a flashback. For the uninitiated, in EverQuest the mobs would pass on their hate for you to like-minded mobs that they chanced to run near. If a person ventured deep into a dungeon, got more baddies than he could handle and decided to run for the zone-line (Yes, EverQuest had those too) every baddie on the way out would join in the chase. This often resulted in trains of 30 or more mobs chasing down a player. If they passed by your character there was about a 50/50 chance that they would stop long enough to dismember you before moving on. Should they catch the original offender and vent their frustration the "train" would then backtrack attacking anyone that they happened to pass during the chase. Blackburrow and Karnor's Castle were especially violent zones. A train could literally empty a zone of players, either by killing them or by forcing them to zone out. Even better, the train would then often wander around the area where players zoned-in killing anyone who happened to zone back into the area. Good times. Some players caused so many trains that they even had macros created to warn the rest of the zone. "Choo Choo... train to zone!"
As much as I complained about trains I miss them. A bad pull in EverQuest could bring the whole dungeon down on you. A mob that ran away from you would often find a dozen friends to bring to the party. Pulling in MMOGs is a lost art because most times you know exactly what you are going to get. We have been freed from the train, but is that freedom worth the price?
July 4th in the U.S. is about independence, freedom from oppression and the right to blow things up. Strangely, those are the same things that MMOG players wish for, yet even today there is a Quillboar caged in Camp Taraujo, living off the scraps that players throw him in exchange for buffs.
Where are celebrities like Bono and the rest of the attention craving Amnesty International crew when they are needed most? Why aren't Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt adopting a Quillboar or at least having a baby in the Barrens? I'll tell you why, no, I'll let Amnesty International's mission statement tell you why;
"Working to protect human rights worldwide."
Notice that it is "human rights". Racism folks, blatant and in your face. The rights of Gnomes, Orcs and yes, even Quillboars are not important according to Amnesty International. I guess we know why Bono wears sunglasses indoors; his shame won't allow him to show his entire face. Yes, we're talking to you Angelina Jolie. Your attempts to pacify us by playing computer game heroine Lara Croft are not enough. We're talking to U2 Bono, you loudmouth schnook. Stand up for these virtual beings, caged or standing in 24/7 sweatshops selling General Goods or Trade Supplies. Show us that your amnesty is truly international. We're waiting for your reply.
Release the virtual political prisoners. Discuss!
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-- John "Boomjack" Hoskin