Your Spam Filter Is Spamming Me

Many of our U.S. based visitors are home for the Memorial Day holiday today. I'm not sure what the proper salutation for Memorial Day is. It isn't happy and you don't celebrate it. With that in mind I'll go with, our thoughts are with those honoring Memorial Day.
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I don't curse very often in real life ( though I did let loose with one choice expletive yesterday while up to my neck in frigid water trying to get our dock installed for the season ) and I curse even less in this column. With that in mind the following auto-reply caught me by surprise:

"In accordance with [Company Name Was Here]'s Email policy the following email has been blocked because we believe the message or an attachment to this message may contain unacceptable language, or inappropriate material."

If you work for a New Zealand pharmameutical company and wonder why we don't do a mailing every day...you have your answer. This and so many more perplexing questions, answered today in Loading...

I'm equally perplexed by folks who sign-up for this newsletter and use an anti-spam service that requires us to "authenticate" our e-mail address. This mailing list goes out to 1,518 addresses (growing by 252 so far in May) and is read on the website over two-million times per month. Though I try to go through and catch every authentication request I'm sure that most newsletters do not. If you are a PC user do yourself a favour and go get Cloudmark. I have yet to find a better spam blocker for the PC. If you use a Mac then try Spam Sieve.
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Funcom has locked into the Conan license until 2023. That's right folks, you will be playing Age of Conan 3 from your flying car while your kids play with the robotic dog.

"Durham, USA - May 29, 2006 - Funcom and Conan
Inc. has extended the agreement in which Funcom
has the exclusive rights to develop any and all
Massively Multiplayer Online (MMO) games based on
the Conan license. The agreement gives Funcom the
right to develop MMO games with the Conan brand
on PC, present and future gaming consoles,
portable devices and mobile systems until 2018.
In addition, Funcom now has an option to prolong
the agreement with five additional years. "

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Many of you who tried The Matrix Online were treated to a game that wasn't anything like what you either wanted or expected. For most of you it's like joining those dating websites with the ads that are filled with beautiful girls. Let me throw something out there that appears to be a big secret given the number of dating websites on the Interweb. Girls that look like that, don't need dating websites.

I digress, and now I'm distracted thinking about the pretty girls in those ads, so let's jack you into the Matrix via Coyote Sharptongue.
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Leave a comment, go on no, leave one. If you are shy you can E-Mail me. , but I'd much prefer a comment that others can in turn, comment on. It's a comment circle of life thing. I think it started in Africa. If you are reading this via our newsletter then you need only to click here to be magically whisked away to the land of milk and comments.

Looking for a place that your guild can call home that doesn't run gold ads? Look no further than GuildPortal.com.

What's New On TenTonHammer.com?
Let us entertain you or at the very least waste some of your time at work.05.29.2006 Auto Assault: Mechanics - Battle Modes
"Battle modes are an interesting mechanic designed to help out in certain situations. The reason they are so situational is because every battle mode is like a double edged sword. They give a really nice buff yet at the same time debuff you. That's why knowing when to use which battle mode can help in both PvP and PvE!" Auto Assault: Mechanics - Gadgets
"Gadgets provide a means of enhancing various items that have open gadget slots. They are an integral part of the Auto Assault item system. Anything that can provide an edge is combat is surely needed!" Auto Assault: Commando Guide Revamped
"Commandos are a class of two things, tanks and explosions. We've gone to our class guide for these noble soldiers and revamped the entire guide. We've reorganized the skill list, included a guide on how to play the Commando, and added tons of Commando related information." Auto Assault: Agent Guide Revamped
"Our Agent class guide has had a tune-up and an oil change. We've gone through and updated all of the information, reorganized the skill list, and added even more information to our already extensive class guide!" Guild Wars: Guide to Minister Cho's Estate
"This is one of the easiest missions in Factions˜which is as it should be. This is basically a tutorial for you to get your feet under you with the concept of missions and grouping. It will also introduce you to concepts like pulling. Even so, even smooth rides can have a bump or two, so here's a walk through to get you where you're going. " Guild Wars: Guide to Zen Daijun
"Zen Daijun is the second mission you'll have to tackle to make it off "newbie island." It's substantially more difficult than Minister Cho's Estate, but if you're high enough level, it's a breeze. " Warhammer Online: Warhammer is NOT WoW
"As a staunch fan of the Warhammer Universe, I would like to point out that unlike Warcraft, Warhammer has a feel that War is everywhere. Unlike the monotony of Horde VS Alliance, Warhammer Online emphasizes the various different battles in the old world. Battles like Orcs VS Dwarves, High Elves VS Dark Elves, and even the Empire VS Chaos, are the core of the Warhammer World and a perfect example of what makes Warhammer Online different is the sense that no matter where you go there will be fighting involved. Unlike Warcraft, which centers primarily on battles taking place in confined battlegrounds, Warhammer divides the world into sections and each instanced location is a battleground to be fought over. Mythic has taken the motto of “War is everywhere” to the fullest extreme, where it took Blizzard almost a year to get over “War is in Hillsbrad only”." Vin Diesel Fact of the Day - Vin Diesel has hit more home runs than Barry Bonds. Now on to the real world. You can't make this stuff up. Mystery of How Piano Scaled Britain's Highest Peak [Thanks Karen]
Wile E. Coyote unavailable for comment. 25 Worst Tech Products of All Time [Thanks Matt]
Notably absent, Crazy Frog ringtones. Dog Turd Cellphone Cover [Thanks Matt]
Answering the phone while holding it on the inside of a plastic grocery bag problematic.

As always, thanks for visiting TenTonHammer.com,
-- John "Boomjack" Hoskin