Diana

by: Elisabeth "Kiara" Grey

Everyone, well mostly, knows that Diana is the virgin Goddess of the Hunt. She is also Apollo's twin sister and the goddess most closely associated with the moon.

She's often depicted as a young woman just into puberty, but still childlike, as befits a virgin goddess. As part of her I'm the daughter of Jupiter gift, she runs about with nine nymphs, a bunch of the finest hunting hounds ever bred, and a spiffy silver bow made by Vulcan.

So very devoted to her virginity and that of her handmaidens, Diana has been known to go to very great lengths to protect herself from men.

Actaeon

Once upon a time (I love it when stories start out that way), there was a handsome (they're always handsome, now shush) prince called Actaeon. Not only was he good looking, he was also a pretty cool guy all around. He was also a great hunter.

Now, one day he was out with his favourite hounds and a few of his friends. They stopped to rest and Actaeon was feeling a little restless, so he wandered away from his fellows and went exploring.

A little ways away from where the boys were doing their man thing (read: killing and butchering and drinking and stuff) there was a little area with some nice clear water and pretty plants and such that girlie folk like. Here, Diana and her nymphs were hanging out and taking baths and doing their hair and all that other stuff that we silly girls indulge in.

(Don't complain. It makes us smell nice and that's why you boys like us.)

Actaeon stumbled upon them in various stages of undress and just happened (unfortunately) to see Diana standing in her birthday suit. Naturally she looked lovely, she's a goddess. And he greatly admired her.

She, however, was most displeased and transformed him into a stag with a great rack (funnily enough, in this case it means his antlers, pervs). Gripped with fear, Actaeon ran away full tilt. He paused a bit to catch his breath and try to decide what to do.

Heading back to his friends and dogs looking like a prey animal was probably not a good idea. Going home and trying to explain to his father was also not looking like a good option. What to do, what to do?

While he was standing there deliberating, his very excellent hunting dogs, caught wind of his scent and gave chase. He couldn't outrun them, after all they were really good dogs, and they soon caught up to him and attacked. His friends cheered them on, wondering all the while where Actaeon could be as he would have enjoyed the sport.

There was nothing Actaeon could do, however, to alert anyone to his plight, and so he died there, ripped to pieces by his own dogs while his friends looked on and laughed.

Yes, Diana was pleased. I guess that's just what a man gets when he sneaks a peek when he shouldn't.