by Savanja on Nov 16, 2006
"This is Coyotee Sharptongue for Ten Ton Hammer News bringing you this EXCLUSIVE look at an unusual event that is sweeping the face of Norrath." A large cat man grips his microphone excitedly as he gestures around him.
Behind him, a long and winding line of adventurers stretches as far as the eye can see.
"Merchants from all over Norrath have been reporting these lines, or single file formations as we call them, popping up on every corner of the globe. From the swamps of Feerrott to the Deserts of Flame, adventurers have been lining up by the hundreds since as early as last night!" Coyotee exclaims as he moves towards the line.
Stopping beside an annoyed looking human Ranger the large cat man clears his throat.
"Excuse me sir. My name is-" Coyotee starts only to be cut off by the now angry Ranger.
"HEY! NO CUTS! I was here FIRST! NO BUDGING!" The Ranger growls as he reaches for his bow.
Taken aback the reporter looks around hastily before addressing the Ranger again.
"I'm..sorry? I don't want to cut you, my name is -" The reporter tries again in vain, only to be cut off once again.
"BUDGER! WE GOT A BUDGER!" The Ranger howls to the line behind him. In an instant every adventurer with in earshot starts grumbling, many reaching for their weapons. Angry hisses snake down the line as suspicious eyes lock on the startled cat man.
"No! I don't want to get in line!" Coyotee clarifies as he holds up his hands in a sign of peace. "I'm a reporter with Ten Ton Hammer News, and I just wanted to find out what exactly is going on here." He explains quickly as the crowd's growlings die a bit.
"Oh! Heh, sorry man. Sorry." The Ranger apologizes with a grin. "We've been getting a lot of people trying to cut in line, and well, some of us have been here for over two days." He explains with a shake of his head. "We're getting kind of tense." He adds with an apologetic smile.
"Of course! Completely understandable!" Coyotee nods as he motions for the camera to move in closer. "Can you tell us sir, your name and what it is you are doing here?" The reporter asks as the Ranger nods happily and turns towards the camera.
"Hi! Um..my name is Brok. Brok Nopahnts. And well, I'm waiting in line." Brok chuckles as the camera quickly pans out to show the massive line before closing once more on the ranger.
Coyotee nods knowingly as he hefts the microphone, holding it out to his interview's subject.
"And can you tell us Brok, what it *is* that you are waiting for?" Coyotee asks as Brok's eyes widen in disbelief.
"You mean you don't KNOW?" The Ranger asks in wide-eyed wonder before turning to the crowd behind him. "HEY! This guy doesn't know why we're lining up!" He screams out to those around him.
Uproarious laughter thunders around them as the now embarrassed Kerran is helpless to do anything but stand there sheepishly. After a few moments of laughter and disbelief Brok turns back towards Coyotee.
"Dude. We're in line for the Playstation 3. It comes out like, you know - TOMORROW." Brok explains as if he's talking to an imbecile.
Frowning in confusion Coyotee looks down the long line of adventurers before turning back to Brok.
"Um..the..Playstation 3?" Coyotee asks confused.
"YEAH, only the HOTTEST video game console to come out in like, EVER. You been living in a CAVE?" The Ranger asks mockingly as the line breaks out in laughter once again.
Looking around once again as if making certain that he's not the subject of a prank, the Kerran reporter shakes his head obviously not understanding.
"Isn't that...a video game console?" Coyotee finally asks, ignoring the laughter caused by his question.
"Exactly." Brok nods smugly before turning to face forward in line.
"But...video game consoles don't WORK on Norrath. I mean, we don't even have Televisions, or electricity! It won't work!" The Kerran points out as Brok sighs, turning back to the reporter with an annoyed roll of his eyes.
"That's not the point." Brok says in disbelief of the reporter who is clearly not following.
"Then what is? What would cause this many people to line up for a product that they cannot use?" Coyotee asks, begging for clarification.
"Dude. Do you KNOW how much I can get for one of these on EBay?" The Ranger asks rhetorically.
"E..Ebay?" Coyotee echoes but is cut off by the annoyed Ranger.
"I can get like sixteen hundred bucks for one of these things man, you'd have to be a fool not to get one." Brok laughs as the line chuckles behind him.
Frowning slightly Coyotee looks into the camera before looking back at the human Ranger.
"I'd have to be a fool...NOT to stand in line for two days for a product I don't want on the hopes that I can resell it for a lot more money?" The Reporter clarifies as Brok laughs loudly.
"Yeah, pretty much man. Do you know how much money I can make?" Brok asks with a grin.
"What if EBay is flooded with these things and you don't make any money?" Coyotee asks as the Ranger's grin fades.
"What?! No..um..that won't happen man." The Ranger says quickly as he looks around nervously.
Turning to address the line, Coyotee clears his throat.
"AHEM! Excuse me!" The reporter calls out gaining the attention of the bored crowd. "Who here is ONLY buying a Playstation in order to sell it on EBAY? Please raise your hand." Coyotee instructs.
One by one, almost every hand in the line goes up.
"NONE of you are here for the product, just for the chance to RESELL IT?" Coyotee blinks in amazement as the crowd inspects one another with contempt.
"Dude! Don't give them IDEAS! OH MY GOD! You just ruined the WHOLE THING!" Brok growls as he turns his back on the Kerran reporter with a snarl.
Staring for a moment at the now hostile line, Coyotee shakes his head and faces the camera.
"The laws of supply and demand. What would cause so many people to line up for a product that they don't truly want or have intention to use?" Coyotee asks wryly. "While the obvious answer is greed, this reporter is banking on "Stupidity." He finishes with a frown. "For Ten Ton Hammer News, this is Coyotee Sharptongue - back to you Tom and Diane."
Coyotee turns towards the crowd and yells out as the camera slowly fades to black.
"If even ONE of you tries selling just the box, I will find you and kill you MYSELF!" Can be heard screamed as the feed cuts to static.
*end*