Explosions are in the air... okay, love too.

At our Auto Assault @ TenTonHammer community site, Xerin offers a complete guide for giving the gift of pre-order Auto Assault to your sweetheart. With NCSoft's "Valentine's Day Massacre" event right around the corner, and all pre-order purchasers getting priority beta access, it's the perfect gift, right? Maybe, if she liked that cordless drill, billiards table, and cigar humidor you got her for Christmas.

First step: get a box of chocolates. It has to be shaped like a heart because "heart" means "love." You want to convey love here, or at least try to pretend you are conveying it. Now eat all of the chocolate or put the chocolate up in plastic bags or something. I don’t really know I ate my chocolate right then. Then go pick up a pre-order of Auto Assault. Be sure to make sure to understand the stores rules on pre-orders. Some will not refund (or at least give store credit) on pre-orders. Then take the code and put it in the heart shaped box. Next put on a tuxedo. This is very important. You want to look saucy for when you approach the person you’re in love with.

You can find Xerin's hilarious Valentine's Day spoof at the Auto Assault @ TenTonHammer community site.

To read the latest guides, news, and features you can visit our Auto Assault Game Page.

Last Updated: Mar 29, 2016

About The Author

Jeff joined the Ten Ton Hammer team in 2004 covering EverQuest II, and he's had his hands on just about every PC online and multiplayer game he could since.