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Daily Column

10 new MMOG hand-crafted articles today! 46 so far in December!

I'd list them all for you, but I found out a really cool trick about Macs today. If you click the "Save" button at the exact moment that the power goes out a Mac will create a brand new, perfectly pristine, empty document for you. Thank you Dr. Evil or whomever decided to "blink" my power off and on at that precise moment. I owe you a large kick in the posterior.

Here is a quick and dirty reiteration of what took me literally minutes to write earlier this morning. If Loading... is late to your mailbox please blame Hydro One.

Activision and Vivendi Games (Most notably Blizzard) are merging. The new company, which I call Activizzard is a powerful, competitor-eating, gorilla that might take over the universe unless somebody thinks fast and stops them.

Enter Electronic Arts (EA), who already own Mythic Entertainment (Warhammer Online) and
Bioware (Somegreatgamewehaven'theardaboutyetbutwhichRayMuzykaknowswillrockyoursocks) may be in the market for another gem to add to their Madden telestrated crown. "Right here!"

Top 5 MMOG Companies That EA Should Buy

  1. FunCom - Madden and Conan. Madden Vs Conan. Age of Madden. It all seems to fit. Is there a better positioned MMOG developer right now than FunCom? (Sorry Mythic, you already ponied up to EA)
  2. NCSoft - Lineage 2, Tabula Rasa, Guild Wars and a long list of other MMOGs would fall under the EA umbrella if these two behemoths were to merge. Remember that "zero-g, fly with me into space" party that you had that I wasn't invited to Mr. Garriott? Well, pull out the big foam "We're #2!" finger and wave it proudly, because that is where your company just came in on my list. Not much of a put-down really, but it's the best I can do on short notice.
  3. Cheyenne Mountain Entertainment - Stargate Worlds is arguably the biggest intellectual property in development. Richard Dean Anderson could also drop John Madden in one punch and I know everyone would like to see that.
  4. Perpetual Entertainment - lack of funds apparently crippled this studio. EA has funds. Perpetual has the Star Trek Online license.
  5. NetDevil - Lego or "Leggo my independent developer you cash flush corporate Kraken". These guys are scary good (Auto Assault aside) and with bagloads of cash Lego Online could make you Beggo to play.

Now the fun part:

If EA were to buy these companies what would they then be called?

  1. FunCarts? FunARTS?
  2. NCarts? ArtSoft?
  3. MounTarts? (Lots of XXX traffic)
  4. Electronic Perp?
  5. ElectroDevil? NetArts?

Bah, this was a lot better before the rewrite. It was free to get in and I'm not sure it was worth the price of admission today. Better luck tomorrow! Cross your fingers that I don't have to deal with an earthquake, tsunami or visit from Nicole Ritchie.

Comments, questions or naughty pictures? Hit the forum or hit my mailbox. --Boomjack

New MMOG Articles At Ten Ton Hammer Today

Hot Content - Or, what I took a fancy to.

  1. New Q&A with Aion's Senior Game Designer
  2. Warrior Epic: Interview With The Devs

Real World News (These were so funny that I cried and laughed and cried again, then they were gone and in their stead you got this.)

Thanks as always for visiting TenTonHammer.com

- John "Boomjack" Hoskin and the Ten Ton Hammer Team

Last Updated: Mar 13, 2016

About The Author

Hoskin 0
Dissecting and distilling the game industry since 1994. Lover of family time, youth hockey, eSports, and the game industry in general.