He's the man who invested his life savings in Gizmondo.
When he's not researching fozuku for his next article he's covering for me
here on Loading...
The Prince of Puns.
The Esquire of EverQuest 2.
Please give a big round of clap for Tony "RadarX" Jones, stepping in for John "Boomjack" Hoskin as we continue our week of guest writers.
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I was walking through Best Buy the other day, making my routine stop in the video game section, when I had an epiphany. Before we get going, to the lady who kept eyeballing me picking up games? I'm NOT too old to buy video games, so do some demographic research before you condemn me. Ok? You can start with the M rated game you were buying for your 11 year old kid. If I see you on the news, because he's carjacking people, and Jack Thompson actually shows up here? I'll...I'll burn the place down. *twitch*
*ahem*
As I was saying, I made my way past the console games over to the PC games. Now, it occurred to me how much smaller the PC game section has become over the last few years. It used to take up as much space as the console games, but now it has like two rows over next to the frelling cordless phones. Unfortunately none of them were hooked up, so I couldn't call the front of the store and ask them why they have no PC games. Has the PC market become that vulnerable to consoles? What is going to happen to my MMO's...my...my precious. *hiss*
On the PC side, nothing is cracking WoW's stranglehold. People flock to it like they are giving away crack pipes, I just don't understand. Do I blame Blizzard for the demise of the PC market? You betcha! Why? Because I canâ¦duh.
What will happen to MMOs if PC games become less profitable? We all know how difficult it is to translate a good PC MMO to a console system. It's much easier to use a mouse to click your ability, than use the right trigger, center stick, and the X button. Why would they consider it then? The console market is getting towards the enormous side, and there is money in it, and these are businesses you know. One thing I think console MMO developers are missing though, which should sway them towards the PC MMO market.
PC's are better. So there.
My PC can do a number of things no console is capable of. For instance, my PC's customized UIs are all glowy, flashy, and more importantly have maps. I'm a man. A proper map is a necessity; Otherwise we have to suck it up, NOT ask directions, and stay perpetually lost.
Instant Messaging and Email are something else consoles haven't really developed. Yes I know you can use their rigid IM system, and in many cases actual voice chat. That's great for frag fests and ridiculing 13 year old boys, but you know what? I have Ventrillo (voice chat software) and a phone. Until the consoles have a way to integrate email and IM's (which coincidentally would require them to develop a web browser) it'll never be enough. A true console will have a way to make Coyote use IM's. How else is he going to put his Wizard hat on?
I've heard many people say consoles are much cheaper than PC's. They are absolutely right, of course! Ignore that $1,000 High Definition Television you need so you can run it in 1080i for proper enjoyment. Why should I only pay $30 - $50 for a game that has better graphics on a PC, when I can pay $60 for an Xbox360 game? Oh and let's not forget the "optional" hardware on consoles like "the ability to save more than 10 games" or "a crappy plug in device so DVD movies will play."
Stop giving in to consoles! They bring forth the apocalypse! Cling to your MMO's as long as you can! Finally, whatever you do, make sure you DON'T eyeball me in Best Buy, I'm already annoyed with their PC game selection.
Exclusive new TenTonHammer.com Content! Let us entertain you or at the very least waste some of your time at work.
10.25.2006 Exclusive Content
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Warhammer Online: "Rant"icle #5: MMO Spyware⦠Watch out!
"Another rant by Ratboy was needed in this dark time. So here it is! Today's "rant"icle talks about the recent stir caused by EA's Battlefield 2142 and its use of in-game advertising. Ratboy writes about his fears that one day MMO's might endure the same fate... oh wait "/pizza"." -
Vanguard : Saga of Heroes - Ask the Devs: Pre-Order Character Creator
"EverQuest II offered it's advanced character creation system in its pre-order package so that anxious gamers could tweak their toons before launch. Will Vanguard: Saga of Heroes offer something similar? Read what Vanguard community manager Nick Parkinson has to say in this week's Ask the Devs." -
World of Warcraft - Xerin's Beta Journal #1: Magic Portals
"Come follow the adventures of Xerin in "The Burning Crusade"! Join along as Xerin takes you through his journey in stepping through the Dark Portal and exploring the new world known as Outland!" -
Dungeons & Dragons Online - The Jack of All Trades
"Michael Keaton learned just how hard it can be to try to play several roles at once in his performance in Mr. Mom. Nuitaran claims that Dungeons & Dragons Online players will have much better success at multitasking if they combine a bard, a rogue, and a fighter." -
2Moons - Screenshots : First Look at Acclaim's M-Rated MMORPG
"When 2Moons was announced two and a half months ago, Acclaim promised us a gritty, M-rated, adult-focused MMO with some capital talent (Korean and stateside) to help bring an eastern blockbuster to the west. Today, we see Acclaim's first steps toward that goal. Though the probable gorey particle effects will have to wait for a future build, these shots show a sleek, well-schooled user interface and some interesting character models. " -
Gods & Heroes - New Screenshots
"From a first look at the "Gigantus" to the mysterious Telchines, the current crop of screens from Perpetual Entertainment doesn't disappoint. Detractors who were fearful that the game's "Rome-ness" would be washed out with mythological themes (or vice versa) are beginning to get their answers - Gods & Heroes appears to have plenty of flavor for fans of antiquity and mythology. Aside from that, the graphics stand on their own and look spectacular.. but see for yourself!"
Vin Diesel Fact of the Day - Vin Diesel never leaves a measurable fraction of toothpaste in his empty toothpaste tubes.
Now from the real world. You can't make this stuff up.
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Jack Thompson Facing Jail for Contempt of Court
Old Jack tries to "bully" the judge, gets a legal wedgie in return. -
Retailer Pulls "Peekaboo" Pole-Dancing Kit for Kids From Shelves
Move was made only after company confirmed kids were indeed getting enough sex. -
Hospital Gives Mother Wrong Baby, Bills Mom to Confirm the Mistake
It's not even funny, really. -
Man Refused Walk-Up Service at Drive Thru, Phones In Bomb Threat from Parking Lot
Have it your way... unless you're a deranged bomber on foot that likes the foldy windows. -
Finland Newscasts, Pop Music in Latin
Toga fad to die an early death in the Helsinki winter, however.
As always, thanks for visiting TenTonHammer.com,
-- John "Boomjack" Hoskin and guest host Tony "RadarX" Jones
