Ten Ton Hammer | XXX - Vin Diesel or Age of Conan?

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Daily Column

Loading... Putting the MMO in "Good MMOrning"

First up, there must have been some cosmic aligning of the stars over the last two days as I received "naughty pictures" in my e-mail from not one, not two, but four readers. You're an unruly bunch and some of you need to rethink what the word attractive means to you.

For the relationship challenged, I have a reminder. Valentine's Day is approaching faster than Oprah can get the words, "Oh my Gawd!" out of her mouth. I'm certain that many of you will be sending Coyote a valentine. May I suggest this? [Thanks Karen]

My apologies for the short column today. I'm literally swimming in Sudafed induced haze as I try to fight off (or in this case ignore) a ghastly cold. I did come across this little bit of excitement on the Age of Conan forums.

"It has come to our attention that the North American edition of the game was submitted (by Eidos) to the ESRB without any server-side censorship:

-full blood
-full fatalities
-breasts with nipples
-not full nudity

The ESRB reviewed our application and gave us a rating of Mature 17+. The full rating with descriptors has not yet been publicly announced but will be posted on the ESRB web site on 13 February 2008.

Funcom apologizes for this small error (or maybe two small errors.)" -- Shannon "Pharamond" Drake

Well played Mr. Drake. Well played.

So there you have it. North Americans will get full on blood and guts , full on breasts, but no total nudity. This will disappoint the crowd that wanted to decapitate players who were running around with no clothes on.

In other news, the German version was rated 18+, which means that it will have blood, but not decapitation or "over-the-top" fatalities. Nudity is not only allowed it is encouraged, as is beer for breakfast.

The rest of Europe is infested with rapscallions devoid of any form of moral compass who will be playing an unedited, uncut version that would make Ewe Boll blush. The cities will be filled with nude, sword-wielding, one-armed fruitcakes.

Will the game's rating hurt its sales or help them? Tell me in the Loading... forums.

Do you feel the need to contact me personally with naughty pictures? Here's my E-mail.

14 new MMOG hand-crafted articles today! 57 so far in February! 334 so far in 2008!

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They would make a lot of incomprehensible noise.

Thanks as always for visiting TenTonHammer.com

- John "Boomjack" Hoskin and the Ten Ton Hammer Team

Last Updated: Mar 13, 2016

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