Norrath, Data, and Betrayal...
EQ2 Humor by Coyotee Sharptongue
"Lies. Betrayal. Large corporations stealing data, statistics and using
strong arm tactics to violate and stomp on your protected rights. Could this be
happening RIGHT HERE in Norrath? Our sources say yes. This is Coyotee
Sharptongue for Ten Ton Hammer news bringing you this LIVE exclusive coverage."
A large cat-man holding a microphone stands in front of a towering arena. A line
has formed at the battle ground's front gates where armed guards stand ready as
they inspect the equipment of those who seek to enter.
"Standing with me today is local Qeynos Warrior, and whistle blower on this
entire scandal - Nick Pann." Coyotee introduces as an angry looking warrior
stands upon the steps of the arena.
"Nick..can you tell us in your own words.." The reporter motions to the line
of fighters and the inspecting guards. "..what is happening here?" He finishes
as he turns towards the man.
"Coyotee, I've been coming to this arena for years. I've been a loyal
customer, a good fighter and a solid part of this community. And now this? THIS
is what they ask from me? Unacceptable." Nick sighs as he shakes his head in
"So, tell us Nick - what is it they are asking? What totalitarian rule are
they slapping down up us? What shackles of oppression are being locked around
our helpless wrists without consent?" Coyotee asks supportively, his jaw
tightening at the thought of oppression.
"It almost pains me to say it Coyotee." The warrior says sadly as the
reporter puts a caring paw on his shoulder.
"Please friend, speak..for the good of Norrath..speak." Coyotee says solemnly
as the camera zooms in for a dramatic close up.
"They want us to show our armor and weapons before we enter the arena." Nick
Pann says in a forced voice as he barely chokes back a sob.
Shaking his head in anger Coyotee growls slightly as he turns to face the
"Registration. You heard it here first folks. These...these BASTARDS want us
to register our gear and equipment into some..huge database that associates us -
and more than likely lumps us into category based on name and size and -"
Coyotee's anger is cut short as the sobbing warrior looks up.
"No..no. Not our names or identification. Just our gear. They just want to
know what gear we are bringing into combat." Nick corrects the large Kerran
before breaking down into tears once more.
"I...don't understand." Coyotee admits in confusion as he turns towards the
"You know. Before you can enter the arena, you have to show them your sword
and shield and what not - so they know what kind of gear you have so that they
can better accommodate you and your fighting experience." Nick explains as the
reporter tilts his head. "Or so they SAY." He adds with a snarl.
"Are...are they forcing you into the arena? Somehow branding your armor so
that they can keep tabs on you?" The reporter asks as he tries to
"No! But I've always gone there! And if I want to CONTINUE to go there, I
have to show them my gear. How do I know that they are telling the truth? How do
I know if they are REALLY keeping this information confidential?" The Warrior
asks angrily, his tone reaching accusing levels.
"Don't you give them your banking information to pay for your dues?" Coyotee
"Well..yes. I pay my membership through my bank account. Why?" Nick answers,
suddenly looking a bit nervous.
"Well, how do you know that they aren't dipping into it - or selling off THAT
information whenever they wish?" The Reporter inquires.
The warrior's eyes widen in sudden realization and fear.
"N...no. They can't do that. They wouldn't." Nick Pann laments as he shakes
his head vehemently.
"They SAY they won't, but that's information they have on you. You don't KNOW
that they aren't. Right?" The reporter prods causing the warrior to grow more
and more frantic.
"No! They said they wouldn't when I signed up! And..and they NEVER HAVE!" The
man cries out as the reporter shrugs.
"So if they took your information before, important information that you hold
sacred, and didn't abuse it - why are you suddenly concerned that *THAT* is
going to change because they are asking for more information - information that
they say is not linked to you and that they need to help better serve YOUR
needs?" Coyotee asks, holding the microphone towards the man.
"Well..that..THAT'S DIFFERENT!" Nick says defensively.
"How so?" Coyotee challenges as the warrior smiles triumphantly.
"Because I had a CHOICE there! I didn't *have* to give them the information!
I didn't HAVE to provide them with my name, account and address! I could have
said no after the free trial and decided not to fight here!" The warrior
"And you don't have to show them your gear now. Do you?" The reporter asks
with a tilt of his head.
"No! But if I don't give them what they want, I can't fight!" Nick says in
"No. You can't fight *here*." Coyotee corrects. "But you can still
"You just don't get it! Our rights are being stomped on! We are being bullied
we..we.." Nick Pann looks up as the Guards to the arena wave him closer.
"Next!" A heavily armored brute cries out as the warrior steps forward and
holds out his armor and gear for inspection.
"Wait. You're going in?" Coyotee asks incredulously as Nick is waved through
after armor inspection.
"Well yeah. Where else am I supposed to go?" Nick asks with a chuckle as he
dons his sword and shield.
"But there are other arenas! Other places to fight! Places that don't ask for
the information that you don't want to give!" The reporter points out as the
"Umm...yeah, but I like it here." Nick says as if the large Kerran is a bit
slow in the head.
Walking away the warrior picks up his pace to catch up with his combat
buddies leaving Coyotee alone with the camera.
"I have no clue what that was about." The reporter admits blankly to the
camera before making cutting motions with his free hand.
"I told you we should have done that piece on chain mail bikini armor." The
Barbarian cameraman reminds him as he hoists the camera onto one large
"I hate my job." The Kerran sighs as the camera loses power, mercifully
bringing the scene to black.
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