Posted Wed, Jul 17, 2013 by Uncle Lester
Uncle Lester may live in a van down by the river, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a gamer at heart. Always on the lookout for an unsecured Wi-Fi connection to use before being runoff, his quest for gamer glory continues!
Hello and welcome to the 18th edition of Gaming with Uncle Lester! I’m your host of today’s show, Uncle Lester. It took some hunting, but I think I have the perfect spot. I’ve got a maxed out Wi-Fi signal totally unsecure. I’m in a rich neighborhood and I’m parked behind the plant wall of some dude’s backyard. I’m hoping he doesn’t notice me here at all, but if he does, I’m ready. Time to throw Operation Undercover Wi-Fi into full gear!
Finding a spot like this took a lot of driving. No really. I mean like a lot. And holy Jesus on a stick of broccoli was it not fun. I thought I’d hit some sweet neighborhood and stroll around looking for someplace cool. It didn’t take long before I realized Yuma, Arizona doesn’t have any rich neighborhoods. Yuma is three hours away from San Diego and three hours from Phoenix. One coin flip later and I was on my way to San Diego.
I don’t think I’ve ever wished for life to be like a video game more than I did during that drive. I really thought I was going to kill somebody because they drive so slowly! I begged the gods to turn my drive to San Diego into a Road Rage session from the Burnout game series. The entire idea of this game mode is to take out as many vehicles as you possibly can. On this trip I guarantee I could have taken out hundreds.
The super cool thing about the Road Rage modes was also that the more creative your method of taking out another car was, the more points you got. Push them off the road? 200 points. Send them off a ledge into a lake? 500 points. Shove them into the path of an oncoming fully-loaded semi? 1000 points. Dude (and Dudette!)… You have no idea how many points I would have gotten. One can wish!
That’s it for today’s show but tune in tomorrow for more from your Louisiana lollipop of the gaming world, Uncle Lester! Be sure to follow me on Twitter at @UncleLesterWIFI too or send me an email with your gamer topic at [email protected]!