Humor

Gaming With Uncle Lester: Life as a Sim

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Gaming With Uncle Lester

Uncle Lester may live in a van down by the river, but that doesnÂ’t mean he isnÂ’t a gamer at heart. Always on the lookout for an unsecured Wi-Fi connection to use before being runoff, his quest for gamer glory continues!


Hello and welcome to the 26th edition of Gaming with Uncle Lester! IÂ’m your host of todayÂ’s show, Uncle Lester. This whole pimp trying to kill me thing is really freaking me out. I canÂ’t pop my head above my dashboard without thinking IÂ’m going to get capped. I donÂ’t think I can take it much longer.

This definitely reinforces what IÂ’ve said for many a year. Things would be a lot easier if life were just like The Sims. If it were, then I could find that pimp in my neighborhood and build him a houseÂ… of death! Or at least a lot of discomfort. DonÂ’t look at me like that. I know damned well each and every one of you have had someone in your lives that you wish you could teach a lesson to.

Imagine if you were able to toss your boss into a house and then remove the toilet. YouÂ’d get to watch them run around, getting upset, and eventually peeing themselves. After that comes the crying which would normally be annoying but you donÂ’t like the person anyway so itÂ’s all good.

YouÂ’d have to be careful though. When The Sims first released I built a house, got a wife, got a job, and I was off. No one told me you should have your spouse take cooking lessons. Or that you needed to put a fire extinguisher in the house. Or that the kitchen should have a fire extinguisher.

Well, once my Sims wife died in a cooking accident gone horribly wrong, life got even worse. In the first Sims you couldnÂ’t move the urn where someone died. Since she died in the kitchen, my manly man of a widow broke down and cried every time he came into the room. It was embarrassing. Alright. Fine. Maybe life wouldnÂ’t be easier, but at least I wouldnÂ’t have to hide from a damn pimp!

ThatÂ’s it for todayÂ’s show but tune in tomorrow for more from your wandering Wolverbat of the gaming world, Uncle Lester! Be sure to follow me on Twitter at @UncleLesterWIFI too or send me an email with your gamer topic at [email protected]!

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