Gaming With Uncle Lester: Life as a Sim
Uncle Lester may live in a van down by the river, but that doesnt mean he isnt a gamer at heart. Always on the lookout for an unsecured Wi-Fi connection to use before being runoff, his quest for gamer glory continues!
Hello and welcome to the 26th edition of Gaming with Uncle Lester! Im your host of todays show, Uncle Lester. This whole pimp trying to kill me thing is really freaking me out. I cant pop my head above my dashboard without thinking Im going to get capped. I dont think I can take it much longer.
This definitely reinforces what Ive said for many a year. Things would be a lot easier if life were just like The Sims. If it were, then I could find that pimp in my neighborhood and build him a house of death! Or at least a lot of discomfort. Dont look at me like that. I know damned well each and every one of you have had someone in your lives that you wish you could teach a lesson to.
Imagine if you were able to toss your boss into a house and then remove the toilet. Youd get to watch them run around, getting upset, and eventually peeing themselves. After that comes the crying which would normally be annoying but you dont like the person anyway so its all good.
Youd have to be careful though. When The Sims first released I built a house, got a wife, got a job, and I was off. No one told me you should have your spouse take cooking lessons. Or that you needed to put a fire extinguisher in the house. Or that the kitchen should have a fire extinguisher.
Well, once my Sims wife died in a cooking accident gone horribly wrong, life got even worse. In the first Sims you couldnt move the urn where someone died. Since she died in the kitchen, my manly man of a widow broke down and cried every time he came into the room. It was embarrassing. Alright. Fine. Maybe life wouldnt be easier, but at least I wouldnt have to hide from a damn pimp!
Thats it for todays show but tune in tomorrow for more from your wandering Wolverbat of the gaming world, Uncle Lester! Be sure to follow me on Twitter at @UncleLesterWIFI too or send me an email with your gamer topic at [email protected]!