Enter the Halfling: Episode 5

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Enter the Halfling - Episode 5

Git them Dawgies Re-rollin'!

by Orogurath

When all was said and done, the assault on the kobold prisons were successful. Although Cailag claimed he walked back to the Wayward Lobster, little chunklets left inside one of the cells near Venn told an entirely different story. After learning of the mad plans being levied against his beloved city, the harbormaster rewarded the Halflings with passage into Stormreach proper and told them to look for Wayfinder Dael to continue the investigation.  

Preston shook Nord's hand thankfully.

“Urble wobble kipple kut, mik mik do wah.  Gib tok midda pik.” (Thanks for the help, stinky one. Couldn't have done it without you.)

“Bah! Ye need to learn common. Me Talenta is basic at best,” barked the dwarf. “At any rate, I'm glad to help, mebbe we can group together again, me friends!”  With a wave and a monstrous bite out of a newly purchased +2 bagel of Dwarf Satisfaction, he disappeared into the Stormreach marketplace.  

United again, and wiser, the four companions Cailag, Preston, Pigface, and Gurblebag stood in silence. The roller coaster ride of these early days had brought about some serious changes in the four, and they stared at each other with grim faces. They had now faced death, and worse, and a new crossroads was approaching that would force some heavy decisions upon them.  

Preston was faced with one at that very moment.

“Dooka pim chub ilam!” interceded Cailag in a commanding voice.  (That's all there is to it!)

“Umlou to bitta betta…” came a worried reply.  (I don't know if I agree.)

“Preston ven imam tooka too pooma.”  (Look, Preston, you don't need all that extra stuff.  What would your family think?  Just re-roll.)

“Chung oo tippy aquamanisaloser eop eop.”  (I'll have to go through all of that drama again, though!)

“Poundy upok pina. Grlogga logga tip boon oma.” (We need the support. And yes, Aquaman is the worst superhero ever.)

“Kappal vutoa pid dip duo.” (As long as we're agreed. Here, hold my favorite equipment and I'll be right back.)

Cailag looked at the chain shirt handed over and smiled. Preston's most valued item, it was something he would need immediately upon his return. He nodded.

Gurblebag and Pigface were barking back and forth about various things, including useful spells and such, when Preston disappeared before their very eyes. Only minutes later, he reappeared, without scars and sporting a new handlebar moustache.  

Suppressed giggles trickled out of Pigface and Gurblebag, who barely recognized the re-rolled Preston. He was still upset about his haul from the adventure: a potion of light repair. The rest were sporting items such as a +1 Maul, magical chain mail, and trinkets that spat webs, while he had obtainedÂ…a potion. Even Pigface had fared better; with his souvenir shirt and belt of something-or-other. It just didn't seem fair!

The new, improved Preston stepped forward and donned his armor, looking both dashing and laughable in his chain shirt. One thing was obvious: he no longer had the glint of intelligence in his amber eyes. The other three savages all agreed this was a good thing.  To Preston, there was one unintended side effect of losing his mental prowess: his desires were so much more easily met!

Reunited in victory, re-rolled, and reinvigorated, the four agreed to celebrate with one event guaranteed to please any Halfling: a night of Pong at the local pub!

For those of you new to the sport, it consists of catching a tossed ball between the wallÂ…and your head.  

Behind the bar, the tavernkeep sobbed and prayed that the halflings would go back to the Wayward Lobster in the harbor. In the course of a single night, his clientele had been offended, alienated, and corrupted by the halflings and he had no idea how he would repair the two or three dozen head shaped holes in his oak walls. To make matters worse, there wasn't a barmaid to be found and he couldn't tell where they went. The grumpy, weather-beaten adventurers trickling in from a hard day's dungeon crawl were getting aggravated.  

Hearing yet another crash as a halfling skull penetrated his newly devalued property, the tavernkeep checked the back rooms when he heard sounds of a struggle. Grabbing his club and forcing open the cellar door, he leapt bravely into the opening, calling out a challenge: “Show yourself!”

The noises stopped, and suddenly a very embarrassed barkeep turned pale. Before him, a smartly-shaved handlebar moustached halfling lay tangled amidst a gaggle of scantily clad barmaids. Arms and legs went every which way, and the flushed faces looked up in surprise.  

“Riptik koppa zeem!” (Right hand on red!) called Preston, and the tangled mass became an explosion of giggles as they tried to stay in the game. For those of you who don't know, Twister is also a popular halfling pastime!

Resigned to his fate, the barkeep backed out, sat down and poured himself a mug.  Screw it; time to get sloppy!

And so our four heroes found a new home and fresh start in Stormreach, settling down at the Rusty Nail and looking forward to new adventures!

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