Enter the Halfling - Episode 5
Git them Dawgies Re-rollin'!
When all was said and done, the
assault on the kobold prisons were successful. Although Cailag claimed
he walked back to the Wayward Lobster, little chunklets left inside one
of the cells near Venn told an entirely different story. After learning
of the mad plans being levied against his beloved city, the
harbormaster rewarded the Halflings with passage into Stormreach proper
and told them to look for Wayfinder Dael to continue the investigation.
Preston shook Nord's hand thankfully.
“Urble wobble kipple kut, mik mik do wah. Gib tok midda pik.”
(Thanks for the help, stinky one. Couldn't have done it without you.)
“Bah! Ye need to learn common. Me Talenta is basic at best,” barked the
dwarf. “At any rate, I'm glad to help, mebbe we can group together
again, me friends!” With a wave and a monstrous bite out of a
newly purchased +2 bagel of Dwarf Satisfaction, he disappeared into the
United again, and wiser, the four companions Cailag, Preston, Pigface,
and Gurblebag stood in silence. The roller coaster ride of these early
days had brought about some serious changes in the four, and they
stared at each other with grim faces. They had now faced death, and
worse, and a new crossroads was approaching that would force some heavy
decisions upon them.
Preston was faced with one at that very moment.
“Dooka pim chub ilam!” interceded Cailag in a commanding voice.
(That's all there is to it!)
“Umlou to bitta betta…” came a worried reply. (I don't know if I
“Preston ven imam tooka too pooma.” (Look, Preston, you don't
need all that extra stuff. What would your family think?
“Chung oo tippy aquamanisaloser eop eop.” (I'll have to go
through all of that drama again, though!)
“Poundy upok pina. Grlogga logga tip boon oma.” (We need the support.
And yes, Aquaman is the worst superhero ever.)
“Kappal vutoa pid dip duo.” (As long as we're agreed. Here, hold my
favorite equipment and I'll be right back.)
Cailag looked at the chain shirt handed over
and smiled. Preston's most valued item, it was something he would need
immediately upon his return. He nodded.
Gurblebag and Pigface were barking back and forth about various things,
including useful spells and such, when Preston disappeared before their
very eyes. Only minutes later, he reappeared, without scars and
sporting a new handlebar moustache.
Suppressed giggles trickled out of Pigface and Gurblebag, who barely
recognized the re-rolled Preston. He was still upset about his haul
from the adventure: a potion of light repair. The rest were sporting
items such as a +1 Maul, magical chain mail, and trinkets that spat
webs, while he had obtained…a potion. Even Pigface had fared better;
with his souvenir shirt and belt of something-or-other. It just didn't
The new, improved Preston stepped forward and donned his armor, looking
both dashing and laughable in his chain shirt. One thing was obvious:
he no longer had the glint of intelligence in his amber eyes. The other
three savages all agreed this was a good thing. To Preston, there
was one unintended side effect of losing his mental prowess: his
desires were so much more easily met!
Reunited in victory, re-rolled, and reinvigorated, the four agreed to
celebrate with one event guaranteed to please any Halfling: a night of
Pong at the local pub!
For those of you new to the sport, it consists of catching a tossed
ball between the wall…and your head.
Behind the bar, the tavernkeep sobbed and prayed that the halflings
would go back to the
Wayward Lobster in the harbor. In the
course of a single night, his clientele had been offended, alienated,
and corrupted by the halflings and he had no idea how he would repair
the two or three dozen head shaped holes in his oak walls. To make
matters worse, there wasn't a barmaid to be found and he couldn't tell
where they went. The grumpy, weather-beaten adventurers trickling in
from a hard day's dungeon crawl were getting aggravated.
Hearing yet another crash as a halfling skull penetrated his newly
devalued property, the tavernkeep checked the back rooms when he heard
sounds of a struggle. Grabbing his club and forcing open the cellar
door, he leapt bravely into the opening, calling out a challenge: “Show
The noises stopped, and suddenly a very embarrassed barkeep turned
pale. Before him, a smartly-shaved handlebar moustached halfling lay
tangled amidst a gaggle of scantily clad barmaids. Arms and legs went
every which way, and the flushed faces looked up in surprise.
“Riptik koppa zeem!” (Right hand on red!) called Preston, and the
tangled mass became an explosion of giggles as they tried to stay in
the game. For those of you who don't know, Twister is also a popular
Resigned to his fate, the barkeep backed out, sat down and poured
himself a mug. Screw it; time to get sloppy!
And so our four heroes found a new home and fresh start in Stormreach,
settling down at the Rusty Nail and looking forward to new adventures!