Goblin Creation Screen.
Well you’ve done it. You’ve made it through the
tedious job of picking your class, physical appearance, and name
relatively unscathed. You’ve hit the “Enter
World” button and you’re ready for your Goblin
leveling experience. Once your screen loads you find yourself at the
Goblin starting point, more precisely KTC Headquarters in Kezan.
Before you begin questing it’s good to note that Goblins come
standard with a few racial abilities including;
- Best Deals Anywhere
(best possible gold discounts regardless of reputation)
- Better Living Through
Chemistry (Alchemy skill
increased by 15)
- Rocket Barrage
(Launches belt rockets at an enemy causing fire damage)
- Rocket Jump
(Activates rocket belt to jump forward)
- Time is Money
(1% increase to attack and casting speed)
Your Executive Assistant:
Directly before you is a pretty little
Goblin named Sassy Hardwrench,
who will provide you with your first quest; “Taking Care of
Business“. You’ll find out quickly that when
Goblins say take care of business they obviously mean it. Sassy wants
you to overthrow Trade Prince Gallywix, but in order to get a promotion
you must first prove yourself by doing quite a few tasks.
The first of these requires
you to speak with Foreman Dampwick
to see if you can get production flowing at the Kaja’mine.
Use your map to find Foreman Dampwick at the end of the ramp just
outside KTC Headquarters. Once your quest is turned in you will gain
around 10 experience and Foreman Dampwick will assign you to two more
tasks; “Trouble in the Mines” and “Good
Help is Hard to Find“.
“Trouble in the Mines” will have you slaughtering 8
Tunnel Worms who are currently eating the valuable Kaja’Cola.
While “Good Help is Hard to Find” will require you
to keep the work going by disciplining 8 Defiant Troll slaves utilizing
your super duper All-In-1-Der Belt. Head down to the mines as marked on
your map and get to work! To discipline one of those pesky trolls,
right click on one that is currently not doing any work and your belt
will take care of the rest.
Put these lazy Trolls back to
Tunnel Worms provide
around 50 experience each at level 1 and killing
your needed 8 should easily boost you into level 2. I personally
finished this portion of the quest first, so I killed an extra few
Tunnel Worms while completing Good Help is Hard to Find. Extra
experience is never a bad thing. After you have finished both quests
return to Foreman Dampwick and receive your rewards plus around 80
experience for each quest and you will be assigned to return to the
mines to collect some of the very valuable Kaja’Cola and will
also receive a glimpse of things to come. You are in the mood for a
Kaja'cola barrel for the quest
to the mines and collect 5 Kaja’Colas which can be
found in the large open area outside as well as inside the mines. Once
completed the Kaja’Cola goes back to Sassy inside the KTC
Headquarters where you will receive another 80 experience. As soon as
the quest is turned in new quests will become available from Sassy and
Chip Endale (Blizzard has certainly not lost their sense of humor).
Sassy wants you to send a message to several deadbeats who owe money in
a quest called “Do It Yourself” while Chip Endale
gently suggests that perhaps you should maybe attempt some new attire
for the upcoming party in “The New You“.
Your personal mode of
transportation around Kezan.
Head outside and you will find Megs
Dreadshredder who has another quest
waiting for you called “Cruising“. And right from
the start this quest sounds promising. “Cruising”
gives you access to a Hot Rod, which will be your time in Kezan. But
like most things gaining the Hot Rod requires you to complete another
task - pick up three of your friends around town. Hop on in your newly
acquired transportation and acquaint yourself with the Hot Rods three
The Hot Rod comes standard with three basic abilities, all of which are
fun, one of which is actually useful. The first ability - Punch It -
increases your speed by 50% and as such you will probably find yourself
hitting this as often as possible. The second ability on the bar is
Honk Horn, which is pretty self explanatory, as is the third ability;
Radio. To top off the fact you have a fancy new ride, all three of your
current quests can be completed while your cruising around Kezan.
Map to the First Bank of Kezan
and Kajaro Field.
The first place you should visit is the First Bank of Kezan, where you
can pick up some Macaroons for the quest “The
You”. On the way there make a quick stop off at Kajaro Field
where you will find another quest waiting for you from Coach Crosscheck
called “The Replacements” which asks you to pick up
8 replacement parts strewn all over Kezan. You will also pick up your
first friend for “Cruising”, not to mention you
will gain quite a bit of discovery experience while driving around.
Continue on to the bank picking up any replacement parts that you see.
Once you arrive waltz right in and demand your money. No really hop to
the head of the rather long line and talk to one of the clerks to get
your Macaroons. Don’t worry about leaving your vehicle, any
friends you have picked up along the way will hop right back into your
Hot Rod once it’s re-summoned. Once turned in you will
receive a whopping 250 experience and regain the quest “The
New You” except this time with instructions to buy some Shiny
The First Bank of Kezan is a
Before you go buy yourself a sexy new
outfit you should probably finish
your dirty work by heading over to Drudgetown to collect the debts for
“Do It Yourself”. Don’t forget to keep
picking up any replacement parts you find along the way! The debtors
are easy to find as they have Hunters Mark arrows above their heads,
but be warned the debtors will be none to cooperative when you ask them
to pay up.
Once you have collected all four debts, check the map and pick up any
of your friends you have not picked up so far, while stopping to
collect all three of the pieces for your new outfit along the way. Once
all of the quests are completed turn them in for some uber experience
that will easily boost you right into level 3. Don’t forget
to talk to your class trainer at this point to gain access to some new
skills and abilities.
A crate filled with
‘The Replacements” is the
only quest that chains
out of this bunch. Once turned in Coach Crosscheck will offer
quest “Necessary Roughness” which will place you in
a huge steel vehicle which you previously collected the parts for. The
object of the quest is rather entertaining as you get to bomb 8 of the
robots that march towards you. Aim with the right mouse button and fire
by pressing 1 or by manually clicking the fire button.
When finished turn in the quest to gain 320 experience (which should
take you to level 4) and pick up the last quest in the chain,
“Fourth and Goal”. Once accepted you will
be thrust once again into the steelbot, and this time you are asked to
throw a ball between two steel pipes. After you succeed the ground
starts shaking, which we can assume is probably not a good thing.
When turning in the quest along with
gaining 320 experience, you find
out that the shaking ground is definitely not a good thing. In fact
it’s a really super bad thing. It seems you may have
Mount Kajaro and it’s going to explode. Awesome.
Despite your slight boo boo Coach Crosscheck still wants you to head
back to Sassy to tell her of your Footbomb victory. Maybe she
won’t notice constant earthquakes…
Announcing your victory to Sassy gives you an extra 25 experience and
opens up another quest from Chip Endale “Life of the
Party”. “Life of the Party” requires you
to well...be the life of your own promotion party. So throw on your
fancy new clothes and bling bling and get ready to party at the KTC
Be aware of your guests needs
by reading the chat bubbles above their heads or checking out their
Once you arrive at the pool your goal is to impress 15 party guests by
fulfilling their wishes. You can find out these wishes by clicking on
them and checking their debuff or paying attention to the chat bubbles
above their heads. Since you have already put on your new outfit you
have probably noticed that your ability bar has changed. Familiarize
yourself with it as it contains all you need to fulfill your
guest’s whims. Simply select a guest and respond with the
Turn in “Life of the Party” to Sassy for 320
experience and pick up the quest “Pirate Party
Crashers”. Apparently your party has gained the attention of
some unwanted guests, and in order to save your career you need to do
something about them. Take out 12 of your uninvited guests and return
to Sassy for 550 experience and a startling revelation. Sassy believes
the current Trade Prince is behind the disturbances at your party. Head
upstairs to speak with him.
Pirate party crashers are the
Instead of an epic confrontation you
are instead presented with a
rather bad situation. The volcano is (finally) exploding, and Gallywix
has a ship that could be your ticket to survival, but of course there
is a small catch. Gallywix wants you to bring him a bazillion macaroons
to secure your place on his ship. Speak with Sassy to open up several
quests, and from Goblins in the nearby vicinity who all have ideas how
you can come up with the money, you should also ding level 5 or be
close to it. Pick up “Waltz Right In”,
“The Great Bank Heist”, “Robbing
Hoods”, and “Liberating the
Kaja’mite” and get to money making!
Blow the Kaja'mite veins up
and collect the valuable Kaja'mite chunks.
“Liberating the Kaja’mite”
sends you back
into the mines once again. To complete the quest find one of
big sparkly Kaja’mite veins and toss one of the bombs
provided to you at it. Once you have blown it up collect the chunks of
Kaja’mite your blast has created. While collecting
Kaja’mite beware the Rebellious Trolls who have made a bid
for freedom in the chaos the volcano is creating. Collect 15
Kaja’mite chunks to complete the quest.
Head out of the mines and bust out your Hot Rod for “Robbing
Hoods”. Enter the city proper and you will find Hired Looters
everywhere. You need to collect their stolen loot in a rather
unorthodox way; by running them over, you never even have to get out of
the car. This quest is definitely on my list of top 10 quests of all
time. While running over the 20 required Hired Looters, make your way
towards the bank.
Follow the on screen
instructions to break into the bank's vault.
you will need to break into a bank vault in order
complete “The Great Bank
Heist”. Thankfully your
belt does most of the hard work, all you need to do is do exactly what
it tells you do to until the vault breaking bar (right side of your
vehicle U.I.) hits 100%. Push the wrong button and the percentage goes
down. Gain your personal riches and get yourself out of there.
Assuming you have already taken out all
your Hired Looters that leaves
us with “Waltz Right In”. For this quest
you’ll need to search your bags for your Mook Disguise that
you received when accepting the quest. Head to Gallywix’s
Villa on the far northwest of the zone, pop your disguise and walk on
in, but avoid the pigs as they can smell through the disguise. The loot
can be found in the two smaller buildings and in the main villa and are
marked on your map. Once you have grabbed the loot head back to
headquarters to turn in all four quests. Each quest rewards 550
experience each and should easily level you to level 6.
Mow down Hired Looters found
all over Kezan.
Speak with Sassy again to get
the bad news that despite all your hard
work you haven’t quite come up with enough money to buy your
way out of a fiery death. Don’t worry though Sassy has a plan
in the quest titled “447” in the form of your
everyday basic insurance fraud. Sassy has loaded up the place with
fireworks, you just need to make sure the thing blows up good and
Go inside and overload the generator, turn on the leaky gas stove, and
drop a cigar on the bed to ensure that you do it right the first time,
then head back outside to activate the Gasbot Control Panel for what
promises to be an explosion of epic proportions. Speak to the Claims
Adjuster to gain 550 experience and collect your insurance money.
What better way to commit
insurance fraud than with tons of explosives?
You finally have enough money to get
yourself off this cursed island.
Speak with Sassy again and she’ll inform you that
it’s well past time to go. To be sure she doesn’t
get left behind she takes the driver’s seat and after a
rather bumpy ride you finally make it to the place of your salvation;
the Trade Prince’s yacht. Turn in your life savings to
Gallywix and get the unpleasant news that not only is he confiscating
your Hot Rod, but you are now his slave. At least you’ll make
it to Azeroth right?