I'm Banninated!

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Every single day, after mailing out this column, like some electronic old faithful I receive the following message,

"Message sent to [email removed to protect the innocent] was quarantined by [servername removed to protect the guilty] at 09:39:31 AM , 01/09/2008, because it contained banned content.

Banned content includes:

Language: various profanities, keywords related to interpersonal intimacy, certain brand names of drugs."

I dare anyone to write a column that doesn't include profanity, interpersonal intimacy or certain brand names of drugs. I know Coyote manages it, but he uses subversion, slight of hand and subliminal misdirection. I am incapable of these feats of wonder unless I drink a [your energy drink could be here].

Your places of employment, and I will start naming names if I have to [Nabisco - who could have their name removed and replaced with Kellogg's ], are censoring MMOG information. The real-time-strategy and first-person-shooter censors are controlling what you want to read when you should be working. It smacks of totalitarianism to me. They walk among you. They look like you, and they are reading your mail before you do. Inside they would like to be more like you, but their absence of social skills (and the ability to play in the third-person) is holding them back. Instead, they simply "quarantine" your mail, a fancy word for read it and use its vital information against you.

Fortunately for you, Jeff, our resident straight-shooter who wouldn't say "poop" if he stepped in it is attending CES while I sit at home receiving "We won't deliver your mail" auto-responses. His articles and videos like this CES: Age of Conan Zone Preview Video - Fields of the Dead give you the goods without my offensive missteps.

In other censorship news, my application to attend GDC 2008 as press was declined. Apparently I don't appeal to a wide enough audience. The 400,000 of you who read this column each month were just given the one-finger-salute by GDC. How does that make you feel? It makes me feel hungry for [Snickers I'm looking at you.]I am sure that I speak for all of you when I recite a quote from the immortal Claude-Adrien Helvétius,

"To limit the press is to insult a nation; to prohibit reading of certain books is to declare the inhabitants to be either fools or slaves."

How many times have you caught yourself saying that? GDC has just made you their slave or their fool, but I'm pretty sure I'm the fool, so that makes you the slave. Get to work! You can't read you mail anyway.

The silver lining is that Jeff, Cody and Garrett will all be attending the "Event That Banned Boomjack". Shackled by facts and grammar their recollections of the event won't be as punchy as mine, but you can't have everything. In this case you'll only get the truth. [ACME Polygraph - your ad could be here.]  

Hit the forums folks. Be heard [if you have text to speech turned on] or read.

Do you feel the need to contact me? Your wish is my command. Forums or E-mail - The choice is yours!

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7 new MMOG hand-crafted articles today! 98 so far in January! 98 so far in 2008!

New MMOG Articles At Ten Ton Hammer Today

CES: Age of Conan Zone Preview Video - Fields of the Dead ION Game Conference: Interview With Director, Peter Freese -- EverQuest 2: Coyote Humour Tabula Rasa: Leveling Guide - 10-15 The Chronicles of Spellborn: Dev Diary - From Mind to Paper Vanguard: Poll - Guides, Guides and More Guides World of Warcraft: Tailoring Items 300-375

Hot Content - Or, what I took a fancy to

CES: Age of Conan Zone Preview Video - Fields of the Dead ION Game Conference: Interview With Director, Peter Freese CES: Age of Conan - Collector's Edition Details Revealed CES: The Agency Gameplay Demo CES: Pirates of the Burning Sea: Raiding and Player Skirmishes Are Coming! Game Over Podcast: #9 - Homeward Bound Podcast: Game Over Now Live on Ten Ton Hammer Vanguard: Interview With Producer, Thom Terrazas - Part 1 - The Riftway System

MMOG News And Improved

Warhammer Online: Awesome Revolution or Watered-Down Replica?
Answer: yes Schilling Leaving Red Sox To Focus on 38 Studios Game
Let's hope it isn't a "no-hitter". The Agency is Aimed at the Halo Crowd
MMOG or MMOFPS?

Need More? Look no further.

Real World News

Rocker Broke Back 'Finding Loo' [Thanks Mikes]
I sense a movie, "Broke Back Loo" perhaps? Man Sets $20 On Fire
Could have bought a year of TenTonHammer Premium Access instead. China Bans Free Plastic Bags
Apparently they get stuck in the treads of the tanks.

Thanks as always for visiting TenTonHammer.com

- John "Boomjack" Hoskin and the Ten Ton Hammer Team