by Karen Hertzberg on Feb 14, 2006
Tuesday's Takes:
For Love is a many Splendored Thing
By Merriandra Eldaronde
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together
" It would have
appeared to be an ordinary wedding, but for the twelve foot tall skeletons
towering over a giant chess board in the background, behind the wide, manicured
lawn where our guests were arrayed. Typical of the Butcherblock Mountains,
it was a warm, sunny afternoon. If you could ignore the occasional spider
or basilisk, it was an ideal location.
Of course, the idyllic
setting had something to do with the fact that I was a nervous bride.
My husband and I didn't meet in an MMO, but we did meet online. Looking
back, it seems only fitting that he would ask me to marry him in-game
nearly three years before he proposed in real life. At first, I was reluctant:
he had explained that he didn't ever want to get married, yet there we
stood with more than fifty witnesses in attendance. The assembled included
members of our guild, Teur the troll Guide, who showed up as a guest,
and a notorious wizard who stole both kills and the spotlight whenever
he entered a zone. We even had guests patrolling to be sure the wizard
didn't train the wedding party!
"Wilt thou have
this woodelf ranger to be thy married husband?" I almost typed no.
There I was in chain armor, trying to look like a bride and unable to
succeed, wondering why we were bothering getting married in-game anyway.
I'd only been to two other weddings in Norrath, and both were between
couples who were already committed to other people in their real lives,
not between a man and a woman who were living together with no real plans
for the future.
Of course, I've heard
of so many real-life relationships that were born in MMOs. People from
different parts of the country, and even different parts of the world,
have found each other behind the avatars that inhabit Norrath, Derreth,
Rubi-Ka, Hibernia, and other realms. I have a friend who moved to Norway
to marry her Prince Charming. I had a guide working with me on The Rathe
who had been through The Relationship From Hell before finally meeting
her perfect match in EverQuest.
"Yes, I will."
I typed instead, my hand shaking so badly that I had to delete those words
several times before I got them right. Our wedding in Norrath was a party,
an event with most of the trappings but none of the hassle. Guests cheered,
and shouted, and levitated, and participated in general mayhem. I came
to understand why Greyhound had wanted an in-game marriage: it was a social
event, and a good deal of fun, as well!
I was already a Guide
at the time, so I listened carefully to our "priest" and decided
that I would have to undertake a thorough re-write of the wedding vows
that were available for use. One set for the serious and traditional medieval
wedding ceremony and one set for the lighthearted, festival type of wedding.
If I had been given a choice at the outset of our in-game wedding, I would
certainly have chosen the lighter fare. In the end, I look back now and
smile when I think about the afternoon that Butcherblock turned into a
reception hall.
Over the next two
years, I stood on top of an aviak tower, in Felwithe, inside Kedge Keep,
in the middle of Lake Rathe, in the Arena, in the Plane of Hate, in the
Plane of Air, on the bridge between the Karanas (the bride kept zoning)
and in Highkeep to perform wedding ceremonies. Perhaps two thirds of the
couples chose an approach that more closely resembled "till levels
do us part", rather than "tell death do us part." One beautiful,
formal, and very serious wedding was held in Felwithe, and everything
was perfect, until one of a groomsman cast a hostile spell on a guard
(by accident!), a slip of the finger that wiped out the entire wedding
party. The poor bride was in tears.
What significance
does an in-game wedding carry? There are no guidelines in any online realm.
Whatever meaning the bride and groom choose to impart to the occasion
will have an effect on how the event is remembered. Was it an excuse to
party? A pledge to always be available to group? The merging of two small
guilds? A political alliance during a guild war? There are countless reasons
why two individual players might choose a wedding as a way to join together,
if only for an afternoon.
Why, then, does it
seem like weddings have gone out of style in MMOs? Are people starting
to take the virtual experience more seriously, or has a wedding become
just another role-playing event? I don't remember a single in-game wedding
in Anarchy Online, or even EverQuest 2, while weddings were few and far
between in the world of Dark Ages of Camelot. Of course, as an "old,
married couple" now, maybe my husband and I are just spending time
in the wrong social circles.
Part of the problem
seems to lie in the fact that there aren't any tools available to customize
weddings. I would have adored being able to slip into a one-use white
robe or other ceremonial garments. I would have been overjoyed with the
availability of a one-entry wedding zone. Perhaps its only wishful thinking:
I know that a wedding isn't a component of game play, but as the population
of MMOs ages, matures, and comes to expect more, maybe weddings have fallen
by the wayside because there is no way to give them substance?
"I now pronounce
you husband and wife." Greyhound and Lyralyrana MistRunner stood
close together and leaned forward, hoping that their actions approximated
a kiss. The wedding guests cheered, and began to drink the beer and wine,
provided in stacks of twenty. Soon, everyone's alcohol tolerance had increased
(99) and the infamous wizard trained the entire chess board into the middle
of the reception. Once all of beverages had been consumed, and the bishop
and pawns were dispatched, the guests began leave the zone with shouts
of "Congratulations!", until only Grey and Lyra remained. They
couldn't hold hands, but they sat close together. Yes, it had been a lovely
day for a wedding.
