SOE Live 2014 is just around the corner, and the team at Ten Ton Hammer is busy preparing like a rabid pack of trained zebra spiders. Similar to last year, we’ve got a massive team attending the event and will be providing our readers with more on-topic and offbeat coverage than you can shake a +10 Zombie Basher of Doom at.

In the announcement video for the event (shown below), gamers are urged to “Come see what huge announcements we have in store for you this year!”

We’re eager to find out what announcements SOE has in store, and will be bringing a multitude of measurement devices so that we can properly gauge exactly how huge they end up being. We suspect that they must be pretty huge considering Blizzard has purposefully booked their own event on the opening day of SOE Live to reveal the street date for the next World of Warcraft expansion. You have to love Blizzard’s not-so-subtle marketing tactics.

However huge the announcements during SOE Live may be, we’ve been coming up with a list of things that we’re fairly confident won’t be announced this year. For example - as hilarious as it would be - the following is one announcement we don’t expect Smed to make next week when he takes the stage for the opening ceremony…