I just got back from Ten Ton Hammer's Corporate meeting. With the help of some conveniently spiked orange juice, I was able to convince the board of directors to foolishly allow me to unleash the full insanity that is my brain.
To begin with, I'm going to start lashing out at people. Being the author of GearScore is a very stressful job, with constant death threats, "gearscore breaking" add-ons, and crybabies constantly crying about how they can't join a raid group. So now I have 3 years of built up anger and I'm simply not going to take it anymore.
Lets start with Blizzard!
NOTICE: I might not have as much power as I thought I did. Ten Ton Hammer's lawyers informed me that the previous two paragraphs were so extreme that I could not post them without significant legal action being brought against myself and Ten Ton Hammer. Blizzard is the most amazing company of all time. They in no-way what so ever confused donations and sales and threatened to ban our add-on this week...
Speaking of Donations...
Somebody out there must have donated some manure cave or garbage pit to Boomjack. As I understand it, he has stopped living as a hobo on the streets and is currently in some trash-heap preparing new articles of Loading...
I don't even see what the appeal of this newsletter is? Boomjack thinks he is so funny ripping into Rosie O'Donald all the time. I think he is just jealous of her sexy curves, silky smooth hair, superior humor, and amazing intellect. I hope you will join me with boycotting this feces soaked rag he calls a column.
Next Up, Zaboc
Zaboc, once said this to me:
wait... are you the gearscore author? if so. Please die in a fire. i hate you from the bottom of my heart and wish that you would use your? brain to accually understand that Gearscore is only ruining people and making them think that gs is all you need. DIE PLEEES
Well Zaboc, I've decided to use my brain. First I used it to actually spell "actually" correctly, and then I used it to make my add-on give you 0 scores, and always report you as wearing all gray items and no enchants and gems. Now you don't have to worry about GS ever again, because nobody will ever invite you to their raids ever again.
Train Spammers...
Starting with the next patch, whenever a player uses that ^!%@$#^!%$@# Toy Train they will receive an immediate 5000 point penalty to their GearScore. I'm not putting up with "CHOO-CHOO" anymore. Its over! Think I'm kidding? My friend Zaboc thought I was kidding too...
