Updated Thu, Jul 18, 2013 by Dalmarus
For a number of years now, I’ve made MMORPGs my business and in those years there are some thoughts and ideas I’ve always wondered about. Today, I’m going to put one of those ideas forward and I want to hear your thoughts on the subject. Even though I’ve always had a fascination with science in general, I do not profess to be a scientist, psychologist, or anything else of the sort. In other words, if my statements below convince you that you’re the most horrible human being in existence and are a potential mass murderer because you chose to play a Gnome in EverQuest 7 years ago, take a deep breath and stop. These are just thoughts and ideas, not a medical diagnosis of your various mental problems so, you know, chin up and all that!
So, here’s the deal. Over the years I’ve always wondered if the race you choose for a character says anything about the type of person you are at your core. For me, a game needs to have an “evil” race option to stand any solid chance of keeping me long term. We all have different sides of our own personalities, but I’ve noticed that not only do I tend to choose the same type of races when I play an MMORPG, I find that I can’t enjoy a game if I don’t have a character that fits into that general concept.
I’ll give you a good example of what I’m talking about. The Lord of the Rings Online is a good game. When looked at from all angles that matter to me and my style of playing MMORPGs, there is a lot to enjoy about the game. There’s a range of races, different starting areas, lots of open areas to hunt in, dungeons and ruins scattered about for exploring, and plenty of interactive gameplay in combat (at least with the Warden). On the surface, all of this adds up to one conclusion – I should love the game. The reality, however, is that I don’t. It’s all for one simple reason too – I don’t have an evil race to play.
Just typing that “out loud” makes it sound inanely stupid even to me. The most bizarre part about it is that even with evil races and classes I don’t actually go about doing anything particularly evil when I play (minus slaughtering “good” guards whenever I get the opportunity and maybe the occasional bunny burning fest). I just like having a sense of character background and history and, for whatever reason, it can’t be good. If they made an evil elf faction or something playable in LotRO, I would probably be all over the game but, since they don’t, I simply can’t get into it.
For years, my wife has on occasion asked me why I play evil characters in every game that gives me the opportunity. I’ve always replied with the same answer: “Since I’m such a good and pure of heart person in real life, I need to have an outlet for evil deeds in a world that won’t actually hurt anyone.”
Of course, at this she rolls her eyes and says, “OMG, you’re such a geek”, and walks away. But I think there may be some semblance of truth to my assertion that I play evil because I’m good in real life. It’s not that I’m anything close to a saint in the way I live my life, but in general I hold myself to a high standard of conduct. I have no patience for people who don’t treat others with respect, kindness, and humility. I have even less patience if that person is current or former military like me.
But does my military background really have anything to do with the characters I choose? At its heart, I think it may. You see, there is one exception to my need to play an evil character, and that’s if the character is in any kind of military organization, such as when playing Commander Sheppard in the Mass Effect trilogy. I was the epitome of my Captain America standard for the first one, and only deviated from military protocol later when I felt a decision required decisive action and whatever it took to “get the job done.” I like the structure and order this setup provides.
It’s in there that I think the answer to my question lies. In life, we all want to be heard, we all want to have a choice, and we all have our own way of doing things. In reality, that’s not only a good thing, it’s the very core of what it means to be human and to progress, to change, and to improve. I recognize the need for this in the real world and I’ve learned to accept and even embrace it.
In the gaming world though, I can be my true self and that, like it or not, would be a totalitarian. I really am that person whose very first instinct in any situation is that I’m right, it should be done my way, and why the hell are you questioning any of the orders I’m giving. The household I grew up in, combined with my time in the Marine Corps, only pushed that concept further and further into my psyche. Over the years, I’ve learned to instantly quash that reaction, to take a step back, and listen to the suggestions of those around me. Even further, I now recognize that in the real scheme of things I know jack squat, so I actively seek out those who know more than I do so I can learn.
To get back to my point, it’s that sense of control and the standing order to not question things that makes the evil races I tend to play so appealing. It’s not that I revel in acts of evil; it’s the historical lore of the race that compels me: ruling with an iron first, a clear sense of hierarchy and command structure, and working for a common goal, even if it’s as a tiny cog in the wheel. These are all things that are nothing but destructive in today’s world, though, except in a very small number of situations, such as warfare, disaster rescue, or other similar emergency scenarios where seconds can make the difference between life and death. In other words, it’s not the way to live a real life, but a very comforting scenario when playing in a virtual world. And that’s why I think the race you choose really does say something about the type of person you are.