How to Handle an Asshat

Forum Communication for the Dignified

by Shayalyn

QUESTION

I'm not afraid of trolls and other creatures in Vanguard, but the trolls on the Vanguard forums at Ten Ton Hammer drive me nuts. What can I do?

ANSWER

So, you’ve arrived at the Ten Ton Hammer Vanguard forum. Congratulations--you’ve found one of the strongest and most active Vanguard communities on the Interwebs. You’ve signed up and verified your forum account and you gotten down to the business of posting. But what’s this? You took the time to post your opinions and now some jerk is trying to pick a fight with you!

Unfortunately, jerks are a fact of forum life. Not everyone knows how to conduct themselves with dignity and respect like you do. (You do conduct yourself with dignity and respect, don’t you?) For you, the Good Forum Citizen, I present a simple yet effective guide to dealing with, well...asshats.

1. Remain calm. Nothing rattles an irrational person more than a calm and logical argument. If you can stay calm and avoid becoming defensive in the face of someone who's trying to provoke you'll manage to make yourself look composed and eloquent while he looks like he's foaming at the virtual mouth.
   
2. Don't fight fire with fire. It's easy to sling insults back at the person who's slinging them at you. But while it may be easy, there's no dignity in it. Remember this rule: never argue with an idiot; they'll drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience. 
   
3. Correct factual errors. It's certainly okay to post a correction if Mr. Asshat has used an argument that doesn't hold water...just make sure you're armed with facts. It won't do to say, "You're an idiot! You've got your facts all wrong!" Instead, show your proof that the person is mistaken. And by proof I mean whatever you can find (usually links) to show that you're right and the other person is wrong. Do this without name calling and without trying to provoke.
   
4. Know the difference between fact and opinion. Facts can be proved. An opinion is "a belief or conclusion held with confidence but not substantiated by positive knowledge or proof." If you believe something to be true but you don't have proof, it's an opinion. Asshats often mistake their opinions for fact. Don't do the same.
   
   
5. Don't argue to win; use reason to make your point. If you enter an argument with an asshat (a dangerous thing to begin with--see #2) go into it knowing that you can't win...at least not where the asshat is concerned. It's unlikely the person you're arguing with is ever going to concede his point, so your job is to make your own point and make it with style. Others may not agree with you, but they don't have to . You're entitled to your opinion. Make it peaceably and then let it go. No, really--LET IT GO.
   
6. Don't make it personal. Whatever point you're arguing...stick to that point. If you're talking about the rate of experience gain and progression in Vanguard, don't try to make your case by saying that the poster (even if he's being a jerk) is a clueless newb who should go play Super Mario Brothers if he can't handle MMOs. Making it personal is the asshat's territory. You don't want to go there.
   
7. The only winning move is not to play. You can tell when someone who's taken a jab at you is just a few egg rolls short of a pupu platter, can't you? In cases like this it's really best not to engage (which is the virtual equivalent of avoiding eye contact). The insane ramblings of the crazy asshat will be called out as troll-ism soon enough. You don't want to take a walk on that particular wild side.
   
8. Use the report feature. If you've been flamed (or you've seen someone else roasted) please make liberal use of the report feature as explained in our Forum Guidelines. Reporting someone when they've attacked you doesn't make you a wuss; it helps the Ten Ton Hammer moderators do their job of keeping the forums a hospitable place to hang out.

There are two kinds of jerks--those who are jerks by choice, and those who are jerks by accident. Those who are jerks by choice wouldn't heed the advice above. This advice is not for them, it's for you, the Good Forum Citizen, to prevent you from letting the asshats drag you down.

Stand tall, keep it sane, and be excellent to each other!

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