Updated Fri, Jul 12, 2013 by Shayalyn
Don't you just hate it when your Christian nation goes pagan because of stuff like Dungeons & Dragons? That shit can ruin your whole decade, or maybe even your whole century.
You might think that today's video is a parody, but I assure you it's not. It comes from a 700 Club documentary, in which Pat Robertson decries the paganization of the good ol' US of A. And D&D is on his evildoer hit parade because, you know, it requires real life blood sacrifices and stuff. (Uh...wut?)
Remember, folks, there's no saving throw against the Abyss of Fire. It's called the Abyss of Fire for a reason! I mean, just look at how those minions (who honestly don't look all that minion-like if you ask me) are ready to drag this poor kid off to his eternal torment. And then that other d-bag becomes Lord of the Little People and all hell (yeah, yeah, pun intended) breaks loose. Because he gets FED TO A DRAGON! But he simply must save himself, and his victory requires blood. BLOOD! That little kid, aka - "David, honey," is in peril. That's what you get for being a little person, David. Deal with it. (Or just run like hell, you innocent little twerp.)
It's my opinion that the horrible scene is not so much evidence of an America fallen into darkness, but more the result of a dick Dungeon Master and some really gullible payers. I think even "David, honey" would have to agree.
If you've got a video you'd love to see featured as our Video of the Day, drop me a link at shayalyn[AT]tentonhammer.com. You can also tweet me @ShayalynTTH on Twitter.