For two weeks in a row, I've been luckier than the purple rabbit foot
you still keep on your keychain. href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/node/49386" target="_blank">Combat
Arms
wasn’t the
greatest game to pick up a rifle and combat boots, but it could have
been worse. Honestly, I think I found a real gem in href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/node/47911" target="_blank">Exteel
and am still
enjoying it more than you'd think anyone really should. I love mechs,
and this game really brought me the robo-loving I deserve. After that
particular review, I started receiving a number of messages telling me
that if I really wanted to get into a robot-based game, I had to check
out href="http://aoa.us.woniu.com/" target="_blank">Age
of Armor
to see what true customization could really be like.



I'd like to think those people were honestly trying to share their own
little slice of heaven, rather than attempting to impale me on the
infamous href="http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20070331"
target="_blank">Windows
Chair as a way of getting back at me for some minor
insult I gave to a game they favor. After playing the game, I'm not
entirely convinced that this request wasn’t a cruel and
sadistic joke played on me by the masses though.

style="margin: 10px; border-collapse: collapse; float: right; width: 200px;"
border="1">

href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/node/49816" target="_blank"> title="A Keep Siege" alt="A Keep Siege"
src="http://www.tentonhammer.com/image/view/49816"
style="border: 2px solid ; width: 200px;">

Let the
torture commence!



Like virtually every other game out there, the initial screen
resolution matched up with my monitor like horseradish on a cupcake, so
it was no surprise when the game looked like it was set for 800x600
when it booted up. My surprise (and forthcoming cursing) came about 30
minutes later when I still hadn't found any method to change it to my
native 1680x1050. Running in its current state, the game felt like I
had hooked my old SNES to my computer screen. If the gameplay had been
fun and exciting, I would have gotten over it, but href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkTd5m5dyF8&NR=1"
target="_blank">Killer
Instinct this
isn't!



After
fuming over the resolution issues, I finally hopped into the game to be
slapped in the face yet again by having to deal with the worst excuse
for a tutorial I've seen in years. Not only was it thinner than href="http://www.ninipic.com/data/media/31/calista_flockhart_10.jpg"
target="_blank">Calista
Flockhart, it was as comprehensive as the pictogram that came
with the
200 piece entertainment center your wife picked out. I hope you have
plenty of time for trial and error over the course of your next
vacation, because you're going to need it.



Graphics that reek of the 80's (and not in a good way!) and a tutorial
that leaves you more confused than a chimp flying the space
shuttle…not the best start in the world. Yet I continued on
because Mechs make me all tingly and made my way out into the world,
ready to throw down some death and destruction like href="http://www.wallpaperez.net/wallpaper/movie/Transformers-Megatron-wallpapers-681.jpg"
target="_blank">Megatron
blasting
hapless Autobots [Face it, the Decepticons have always been
cooler.—Ed.]. Unfortunately, what greeted me was nothing but
the pure cruelty of href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WM2o_qSpaA"
target="_blank">Cobra
Commander.

 

Combat pretty much consists of clicking your mouse button on a target
to either shoot or swing at it. Rather than zipping around the
battlefield like you’re at the local href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFpsuQ2zI24&feature=related"
target="_blank">
Go-Kart track, you
shamble along like you're an old man moseying through your neighborhood
drugstore. You could get through 3 innings of a baseball game before
you managed to kill more than 20 targets. While that’s a bit
of an exaggeration, I'll guarantee Rosie O'Donnell could scarf down a
whole pie before you finish that quest.

 

style="margin: 10px; border-collapse: collapse; float: left; width: 200px;"
border="1">

href="http://www.tentonhammer.com/node/49817" target="_blank"> title="PvE Combat" alt="PvE Combat"
src="http://www.tentonhammer.com/image/view/49817"
style="border: 2px solid ; width: 200px;">

style="font-style: italic;">Too bad the game isn't as cool
as my robot.

The main reason so many people suggested style="font-style: italic;">AoA to me was the
customization options available to you when designing and upgrading
your Mech, probably because it was one of the features I enjoyed most
about Exteel. Frankly, AoA
has more options for upgrading parts,
skills, and colors than the Amazon jungle has trees, and
that’s not a good thing at all. Unless you've got a guide to
navigate you through all of it, you're going to be lost. Having an
inexhaustible amount of choices in front of you is only a good thing if
it's comprehensive and intuitive. I have a better chance of
understanding the theories of quantum physics after attending a weekend
seminar than I do explaining the staggering amount of options I was
bombarded with during my play time.



If you have the stomach to suffer through all the complaints I've
listed, there is one beacon of hope that shines brighter than Optimus
Prime’s chest plate. The community found within style="font-style: italic;">AoA is
composed of some of the friendliest and most helpful individuals I've
run across since the week I spent in href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRQKI9FehmI"
target="_blank">Brisbane,
Australia, many years
ago. No matter how stupid the question seemed (even to me), I never
once saw an utterance of "noob" or an answer that could be considered
rude by even the strictest of the forum police.



Overall, I found the game horribly painful to not only look at, but to
try and play. Though there is an item mall available within the game, I
had neither the desire, nor burning need, to purchase anything from it.
The whole experience felt like watching a bad independent film filled
with actors you really like; it sounds like something you'd enjoy, but
in the end you realize those are moments of your life you'll never get
back. The only thing that gives AoA
a chance of being enjoyable is the
helpful community that understands your pain.


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(2 / 5 Hammers)



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Last Updated: Mar 29, 2016

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