alt="Poo Pile" />
Completing quests is part of the
quintessential World of Warcraft experience. From the time we start a
new character to the time we hit max level, we are completing quests.
Some are tedious and easily forgotten, while the memory of others
will stick with us forever. This is especially true when considering
the quests that involve a certain stinky substance that all of us
produce from our backsides; poop.
I can assure you I do not have some
weird fetish for poo, although it can be argued that Blizzard just
might. These quests are, simply put, just downright fun. Besides, who
doesn't like a little bit a toilet humor? Even if you don't find poop
inherently funny, there is still no escaping it, so you may as well
laugh at it.
World of Warcraft is riddle with quests
involving this foul substance. Quest after quest after quest takes us
to places we never thought we would go with caca. While all quests
about this brown goo are pretty entertaining, some manage to stand
out above the rest. Check out my top 5 picks for seriously stinky
World of Warcraft quests below:
This poo-based quest takes you barren
and harsh landscape of the Hellfire Peninsula. Third in a chain of
quests given by Foreman Razelcraz, a resourceful and slightly pushy
Goblin, players are informed they have some digging to do. It seems
the Foremans Fel Hound ate his Shredder Keys and they must be
retrieved, no matter the cost.
alt="Goblin and Fel Hounds Hellfire" />
Of course, as we all know, there is
only one real way to get something back that has been eaten; wait for
it to come out the other end. Players are instructed to take the Fel
Hound out to kill a boar, once killed, the Fel Hound proceeds to eat
the boar and then produces a heaping pile of dung. This is where you
(literally) get your hands dirty. To retrieved the keys you have to
search through pile after pile of this stuff until you find the key.
To add extra hilarity and a realistic touch to the end of this quest,
players gain the Stinky, you smell funny. debuff, complete with
lingering green cloud.
In Kun-Lai Summit players will find
themselves helping Cousin Goofur create gourmet coffee. Of course,
this coffee is extra special in the fact that it is created from
beans that have been digested and pooped out in Kafa'goot Deposits
by the goats on Kota Peak. Sounds yummy right?
In this particular quest, you don't
have to dig, pick-up, carry, or sift through the poo. You are
apparently above these tasks at this point in your career. What you
do have to do is plant a nice little flag in each heaping pile of
Kafa'goot so it can be collected later. The best part of this quest?
It is based off a real life coffee, the most expensive in the world,
known as Kopi Luwak.
Added to Azshara when Cataclysm was
released, Befriending Giants gets players up close and personal with
the bathroom details of the Cliff Giants native to the zone. We
learn here that the beautiful crystals found around the area are
actually Cliff Giant poo. We also come to find out that Cliff Giants
only relieve themselves once every 15-25 years. Talk about some
alt="Azshare Giant and Azsharite" />
The quest chain continues with a Goblin
known as Assistant Greely (the quest giver who started this whole
thing) deciding that waiting years for more of these profitable
crystals. Of course, you are elected to take on the dirty work of
trying to speed along the process. You are asked to complete some
hilarious tasks like giving the giant a Giant-Sized Laxative and
trying to (very literally) scare the poo out of the giant with a rat.
The only downfall of this quest is that it is currently only
available to Horde players, sorry Alliance.
Doing Your Duty
Doing Your Duty is probably one of the
most notable poop quests in all of Northrend, if not the entire
game. This is the end of an Alliance-only quest chain in the Grizzly
Hills in which you find that you have ingested an entire harvest of
Of course, the quest giver seems to
want them back and so the fun begins. You are given a fast-acting
laxative to drink that will get the Amberseeds back out before they
are totally digested. You are instructed to head to the nearby
outhouse to take care of business and the ensuing scene is one that
you are sure to never forget.
A Rare Bean
Finishing up our list, we head to
Nagrand where we find one of the most memorable quests in all of
Outlands. Once again, this quest will ask us to get our hands dirty.
Players are tasked by Elementalist Lo'ap to gather Digested Caracoli
from the heaps of dung left by the various creatures found in
Nagrand. Apparently, this poo covered ingredient can be combined to
make a special tablet that will allow you to breathe underwater. Or
perhaps it smells so badly, it simply forces you to want to hold your
alt="Nagrand Poo" />
Either way, the dung heaps can be
found all over the nearby area and they are easy to find. You see,
these heaps of poo are quest items and thus they glitter making them
hard to miss. Plus, who doesn't love some sparkly poo?
That wraps up my top 5 picks for the
best seriously stinky World of Warcraft quests. If you haven't tried
out some of these quests, you definitely should. I assure you it will
be an ultra crappy time and I mean that in the best way possible. We
can only hope that the poop related quests and the laughs from them,
will carry on into Warlords of Draenor. What are some of your
personal favorite quests with poo as the focus? Share them with us in
the comments section below!
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