by: Tony "RadarX" Jones

LOTRO has been out for about six weeks now and people are still reviewing it, examining the mechanics, character creation, etc… We could break down level and equipment progression, class balancing, quest content and point out things that need tweaking. I say screw all that, if you look hard enough you are going to find something wrong with every game ever made. In that spirit Ten Ton Hammer brings to you the Top Ten Reasons to Play LOTRO:

10) The Box Looked Cool

Ok, yes this is probably THE lamest reason on the list but the box looks friggin cool. Look at other MMO game boxes, what do you see? Large racked chick with a staff or a purple face? Admit it, the face of evil is a nice change.

Now sure a younger kid might have trouble getting that by his parents because they’ve been watching too much Jack Thompson and not enough G4. Give the kid a break! Do you want him evil or oogling women?

9) There is a Storyline

LOTRO has a real continuing storyline. It’s not the normal vague “Drop you somewhere and expect you to have a good time." This is a tragic oversight in so many MMO's these days that I think most players probably take it for granted. Sometimes people don't WANT to wander aimlessly, thanks for noticing Turbine.

Of course, the storyline is completely optional but having something showing a clear line of direction is very refreshing. Not only is there progression, but cut scenes and dialogue which actually tell a story assuming you don’t have ADD and can slow down to read it.

8) Farming

How to make a gold an hour? Nope. Actual…farming. Planting stuff, growing it, and harvesting. You go to a field, buy your seeds/water, plant your stuff and collect it. Process it after collection and you've got...food.

On paper this sounds like the least exciting tradeskill of all time, but strangely, it’s not all that bad. It could use some dynamic events like random things spawning and trying to kill you but for folks who aren’t looking for that fast “city slicker” life this might be for you. Remember growing things doesn't make you a hippie.

7) Angry Trees

Everyone loves the forest. It's peaceful, serene, and home to extremely pissed off trees. Wander too close and they'll be pulling splinters out of your spleen. And if you aren't expecting it, you might not even notice they are there the first time because well, you are in a forest.

Unique creatures are exactly the kind of thing that makes a game enjoyable and exciting. People don't want to kill Orc number 6 million, they want to go up against something different. Make stuff come out of the ground or even a house come to life, something you'd never expect and people will eat it up.

6) Racial Traits

Race has a purpose in this game!It’s not some marginally useful ability with a 30 minute refresh you’ll stop using after level 5. They get relevant bonuses that carry over into the rest of the game.

What kind of cool bonuses do they see? Well Hobbits for instance get a crappy version of stealth that makes them walk slower than dial up internet in Eastern Europe. It's like watching a football replay but hey, it's still stealth. Traits can give each class a little variation providing that "I want to be different" we all strive for.

5) Everything is Named Differently

Turbine is trying to be different, which I completely respect. Fellowships are groups, Kinships are guilds and…what I would’ve called a “Heroic Opportunity” in EverQuest2 is a Fellowship Maneuver (which is less funny than the Conjunction it used to be called).

Some things go to extremes however. Why are people debating whether it’s Worg or Warg? Dude its got teeth, it’s drooling, and trying to chew your face off! Stop reliving the 4th grade spelling bee you lost and kill it!

4) There is No Death, Only Incapacitation

I don’t ever die, I just become incapacitated. Now if you are on the “video games are too violent” bandwagon well, AHA! The AMA says they aren’t addictive! Not having people actually die does take a little bit of the edge off.

From an immersion standpoint, I'm to understand a bandit is stabbing me and decides I’ve had enough? Are they a simple bully who stuffs me in a trashcan and rolls me down the hill? Do I get a wedgie before I respawn? Death is a part of life! Embrace it!

3) No Female Dwarves.

That’s right, I said it. I’m looking at YOU EverQuest 2 and World of Warcraft. Females are NOT supposed to have beards unless you pay $5 at the Fair. Even then they aren’t real right? Right?!?

Character creation should not creep me out more than watching the Bravo network. Women do not typically have facial hair even in fantasy worlds. THANK YOU Turbine for recognizing this.

Now if we can just get elves to look more masculine…

2) The Game is Huge Overseas Too

Unlike many other MMO’s this game seems to be doing extremely well over in the EU. There is something a little cool about knowing there is an entirely different culture saying “Cheers!” at the same time you are saying “See ya!”

In saying that? It’s “or” NOT “our” so stop saying honour and valour! It’s not carburetour is it? Well...ok maybe it is over there but still! Stop confusing us because Microsoft Word says it’s wrong.

1) The Burglar

There is a class called the Burglar. The burglar! I envision every one of these characters running around in black and white jump suits being chased by policemen with night sticks.

They don’t pick locks or pockets and as much fun as running around Bree going “Rubble Rubble” has been for me it’s baffling. Don't get me wrong, the class is one of the most enjoyable you can play in my mind, but I do find myself ridiculing a few things. What do they burgle?

So there you go, these are my top ten reasons for playing Lord of the Rings Online. What are yours? Feel free to stop by and share with us on the forums.