WAR Zones: Mount Bloodhorn, chap.1

Gettin' ready for da WAAAGH!!

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Greenskins aren't all that bright, they aren't all the pretty, and they have a single minded goal that drives them from the time they're "born" to the time they die. They love to fight. If they aren't fighting enemies, they're fighting each other and their leaders are chosen not by a democratic process, but based on who has won the most battles as boss. This single minded goal makes them a dangerous foe, despite their lack of intelligence for they may not be smart, but they have an instinctive cunning that guides them.

Hello there. I'm your host, Brock "Brokain" Ferguson and welcome to Ten Ton Hammer's "The Greenskin Hunter". Today, we're going to follow the elusive Black Orc through his current native habitat of Mt. Bloodhorn as he embarks on a perilous journey to grow stronger and join the ranks of the Bloody Sun Boyz and their WAAAGH!!

There he is right now, emerging from his cave into the warcamp. Notice the rippling muscles, powerful and ready to strike. The teeth, yellowed from questionable meals and bad dental hygiene. The beady eyes, indicating his desire to do deeds of malcontent. The special odor that assaults your senses, causing waves of nausea to take you. Yes, he's a dangerous one all right. For now, let's call him "Broksmash".

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Out into the warcamp he goes, approaching the biggest Black Orc and leader of the camp, Skarzag. Notice the orcs and goblins running around, completing tasks given to them by Skarzag. A frenzy of activity that-- Oh, apparently Broksmash has received a task of his own. Quickly now, we don't want to lose him.

As you can see here, right outside of the gate the Greenskins have encountered their natural enemy, the dwarf. The dwarves are numerous just outside of the camp, attempting to push back the Greenskin war machine. It seems Broksmash has seen the dwarves and has, as expected, attacked them. Look at him go! Magnificent! Apparently, now he's throwing mud on a dwarven statue and laughing in some sort of primitive ritual of defacement. There he goes, fighting more dwarves. The place is teaming with them as their cannons roar from the nearby fort on the mountain. Now we watch, as he heads down to the lake filled with what looks to be green goo after conversing with a nearby goblin. Broksmash is approaching a barrel that has washed up on shore. Why exactly we don't know, but that may become clear here in-- my god, there was a dwarf inside that barrel? A naked dwarf! How did that happen? Truly an unbelievable occurence!

After defeating the no clothed dwarf, Broksmash seems content to grab weaponry from his fallen comrades on the lake shore. This is standard behavior in a race that believes only the strong survive and the weak fall. Notice how he kicks them when they're lying there, proving his superiority. He heads back up to Skarzag and hands them off and then is off again! It's difficult following this beast as we have to stay hidden or risk certain death by axe.

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Along the beach there seems to be some commotion and GOOD LORD! Is that a giant? It IS! Ladies and gentlemen, I and my camera man, Radar X, are putting ourselves at great risk here. Rarely has a giant been seen this close to a civilization. All of the Greenskins in the area seem to be busy trying to help the giant. His feet are assaulted by what appears to be... yes, it definitely is, hungry squigs. Now, they seem to be bringing him something to drink. Looks like beer. The giant is now getting up and picking up a large red ball with protrusions on it. The dwarven fort across the sludge pond seems to be locked up tight as the giant carries the ball thing across the bridge and OH MY GOD! Radar, did you get that? Folks, I can't believe what we're seeing here! The giant has blown himself up! The ball was a bomb! Now, here come the dwarves and they're not happy one bit as a melee ensues between the eagerly awaiting Greenskin contingent and the recently shaken up dwarves.

Well, now that that's over, it seems our Orc Broksmash is heading to the camp close by. after a quick exchange with a well armed goblin, Broksmash seems to be upgrading his armor. Now he seems to be running around and obtaining more tasks from specific Greenskins. Wait, he's heading up to a hill with a group of catapults on it. However, I can't see and ammunition lying around. What's this? It seems that Broksmash is climbing into the carriage, but why? This is amazing! The goblins manning the catapults have shot Broksmash out of it in an attempt to get him to the top of the dwaven fortress in the mountain! It seems that we will have to try this as well or risk losing our Black Orc, and missing out on his adventures up there. There! Radar, get into the carrige. Quickly now, if we're spotted the consequences would be disastrous!

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Ok, as my camera man is busy retching in the corner due to the means of travel here, we've managed to once again spot Broksmash and now we learn the mystery of the dwarves in the barrels from earlier. Apparently, Broksmash has picked up a few of the unconscious dwarves, stripped them, and shoved them into the barrel and now we see him kicking it off the top of the fort into the sludge bellow. The cruelty of these Greenskins is legendary, but I never imagined this. It's a good thing the dwarves are a hardy lot! It seems that the cannons were the reason he was catapulted up here. He battles his way over to one and destroys it. It seems that we may be able to get in close, behind these crates. Let's see if we can hear what Broksmash and this goblin have to say to each other and gleen the motivations behind the very intricate and subtle interaction between these two examples of the Greenskin race.

Mugrush Gutsticka: *farts* OI! 'Dat wuz a good one!

Broksmash: AH HAHAHAH! Now givez me what you promised before I bash yer skull in!

... incredible. Clearly an ancient ritual greeting where by means of flatulation, pheremonal signals are... sent... to... *looks at Radar shaking his head*

*ahem* No, according to my camera man Radar, apparently that was just gas.

Oh! There goes Broksmash apparently taking the quick way down by jumping off the top of the fortress. We have to hurry to catch up! Join us next time as we continue to follow Broksmash the Black Orc on his quest to become a Bloody Sun Boy. In the mean time, both Radar and I are going to try and get down off this mountain fortress without getting killed!