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Blizzard is in full-bore contest mode with YouTube video contests, arena contests, comic contests , contests to give them new contest ideas, contests to see how many contests you can enter, trading card contests and untradeable card contests.

One YouTube entry was admitted to the aforementioned contest and then suddenly, without notice, unexpectedly.... removed. OK, it should never have been admitted to the contest, but it's funny and I'm all over that. This isn't safe for work, children or those of you who are easily offended, which is likely a very small number if you read this column every day.

[youtube xeUhSjuhQYE 'Jimmy: The World of Warcraft Story']

The good folks at Blizzard have also found a way to piss off Canadians. This isn't easy to do. We've had provinces trying to break away for years and nobody gives a crap, yet Blizzard refuses to let us play in a contest and heavens to hockey sticks we are ready to go to war. War I tell you! With old boats and helicopters that double as submarines, but we don't care because we want to play in a MMOG tournament. Here we come!!!

Here is what started the "police action",

"1. Sponsor; Eligibility. BLIZZARD ENTERTAINMENT, INC. ("SPONSOR") IS THE SPONSOR OF THIS TOURNAMENT. THIS TOURNAMENT IS OPEN ONLY TO INDIVIDUALS WHO ARE, AT THE TIME OF ENTRY AND AWARD OF PRIZE: (A) LEGAL RESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES, AUSTRALIA, NEW ZEALAND, SINGAPORE, THAILAND, MALAYSIA, FRANCE, GERMANY, AUSTRIA, ITALY, SPAIN, THE UNITED KINGDOM, THE GRAND DUCHY OF LUXEMBOURG, NORWAY, SWEDEN, BELGIUM, DENMARK, THE NETHERLANDS, FINLAND AND THE REPUBLIC OF KOREA; "

First, BLIZZARD, WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?

Second, a "legal resident" of the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg can enter the contest, but a Canadian can't? We walk among you. We look like you. We have infiltrated the very fabric of the United States. I flip a switch and there will be hundreds of thousands of zombie Canadians who "trigger". The next think you know you'll be eating poutine, wearing a toque and watching hockey...even in Nashville.

I feel a cold wind ablowin' and it may turn into a Blizzard.

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Today's Exclusive TenTonHammer.com Content!

04.20.2007

• IMGDC: Slaughtering Sacred Cows - Richard Bartle Roundtable
  "In interviews, keynotes, and roundtables Richard Bartle tours the challenges of independent design and challenges developers to go beyond conventional design constraints. Ten Ton Hammer seeks to summarize this online gaming luminary's many insights at the recent Indie MMO Game Developers Conference."
• Blog: Freedom!
  "Back in his routine after IMGDC, Micajah extols how he had hoped for more talk of freedom at the Indie MMO Development Conference."
• Dungeons and Dragons Online: The Master Bard
  "The Master Bard excels at doing everything well, but is the master of no particular specialty. The epitome of all things bardic, he or she is able to do anything a party needs, without overshadowing any particular specialist."
• EverQuest 2: Simple Scouting
  "Masters of stealth, damage, and general killing the scout classes require skill and knowledge only learned through experience. RadarX lays down the basics of scouts, and nine things you should know to be successful."
• Sword Of The New World: An Art Direction Q&A
  "In this day and age, sword and sorcery MMOs are practically a dime a dozen, and more fantasy-based games are on the horizon. The development team at K2 Network was faced with this problem, and they chose to differentiate themselves from the competition by adopting the architecture and vibrant look of western Europe during the Age of Exploration. We asked the Jon-Enee Merriex, Senior Game Master for K2 Network, a few questions about their art direction, which he graciously answered and included a few exclusive screenshots for Ten Ton Hammer readers as well!"
• Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Psionicist Bug List
  "The great community at Ten Ton Hammer and Psionicist Class Specialist Suul have teamed up to produce a list of bugs and issues for Sigil's development team."
• Voyage Century Online: Screenshots
  "Since Voyage Century Online officially launched on the April 8, 2007, there been nothing but media goodies coming out of that games treasure chest. The game, which features cute pirate avatars and lots of in-game outfits and decorative items, seems to be winning over the hearts and minds of at least a few wannabe pirates. Here are a six more screenshots for you to take a look at. Enjoy!"
• World of Warcraft: Blacksmith Power Leveling Guide
  "We present for your reading pleasure a guide on the best way to “power” skill to the Blacksmithing profession in /World of Warcraft/. We’ve gone and found the cheapest items to create that don’t require super expensive recipes. As a matter of a fact, outside of the Outland recipes all of the recipes can be obtained from the trainers!"

Hot Content

• Voyage Century Online: Screenshots
• Sword Of The New World: An Art Direction Q&A
• IMGDC: Slaughtering Sacred Cows - Richard Bartle
• IMGDC: Round Table With Jay Moore
• IMGDC: A Sex-Filled Discussion With Kelly Rued
• IMGDC: A Video Interview With Richard Bartle
• IMGDC: Why We Should Watch The Little Guy
• Vanguard: SoH - Interview - Norm "GM_Volson" Freeman
• FireFly: IMGDC - The Verse Behind Firefly
• IMGDC: Would You Rather Have Class Or Skill?
• IMGDC: Josh Williams Keynote - Outlook For Indie Games

Real World News - You Can't Make This Up

• Mystery Animal Roaming Northeast Woods
  Has anyone seen Rosie?
• Parrot Teaches Boy To Talk
  He's a pretty boy...who likes crackers.
• Large Electrical Explosion Live On News
  Shocking.

Vin Diesel Fact: Vin Diesel throws glass houses at rocks.

Thanks as always for visiting TenTonHammer.com

- John "Boomjack" Hoskin