TenTonHammer.com's personality has been popping up in the darndest places and we don't just mean that whack-a-mole game run by the carnies down the street. First we notice one of our understated, yet blazingly yellow soccer jerseys being worn by Jeff Butler in the Vanguard "Pic of the Day", then we get news that our own Coyote Sharptongue is the first EverQuest 2 player to be spotlighted in the EQ2 Players Profile.
Some of you are starting your long weekend. Some of you are watching it come to a close. Those of you in Asia are wondering what a long weekend is and those of you in Europe, the home of the siesta and the two-hour work day are liquored up watching World Cup re-runs on a 60 inch plasma television bolted to the 800-year-old blocks of your local pub.
It's a holiday for most of the population here in Canada today. I'm looking out my office window at Lake Ontario where at least six boats filled with hung-over fisherman are being circled by two Seadoo Jetskis. I eagerly await the "stray cast" that latches onto one of the Seadoo drivers buzzing the fishing boats. Now that's PvP!
Fishing in MMOGs is something I have never wrapped my head around. I have always been boggled by games like Bass Masters Classic, Bass Masters Pro Edition or best of all Bassin's Black Bass With Hank Parker, which are games built entirely around pretending to trick virtual fish into biting a virtual hook.
MMOGs have delved to new depths when it comes to mini-games. People are paying $15 per month to Blizzard to click on a pixellated bobber when it "moves", hoping to catch a virtual fish. In EverQuest you didn't even have to click on anything. You just watched the screen and clicked on your "catch" in the loot window. Whooptydoo!
Which stimulating diversions will be next? Mowing the lawn? Changing the oil in your Auto Assault vehicle? Brushing your teeth?
Your skill in laundry has increased to (72)! Discuss!
Make your mark. Mark your territory. Post a comment. If you are shy you can E-Mail me.
Every good guild needs a home. A home free of gold ads, secondary market farmers. Look no further than GuildPortal.com.
Exclusive new TenTonHammer.com Content!
Let us entertain you or at the very least waste some of your time at work.07.03.2006 Exclusive Content
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Independence Day Dreaming
"Ten Ton Hammer does some dreaming this Independence Day holiday. Lady Sirse dreams of a MMO that goes beyond just a game environment. Do you share her dream? " -
Auto Assault: Imagined Ideals - A Game Worthy of Dreams?
"For once, this weekly feature doesn't focus on a covered game. Rather, it is about what one perceives to be an ideal game presented in a "features / game info" page format, like what might be found on a game's main site." -
Dungeons and Dragons Online: Freeing My iMMOGagination
"Ever think about what would make your perfect massively-multiplayer online game (MMOG)? Ralsu uses Independence Day as an excuse to free his "iMMOGination" and comes up with two ideas for games that would put him on cloud nine." -
EverQuest 2: Finding Serenity In A MMO
"Where can you find serenity? In a Firefly MMO of course? Kiara explains her ideas on what would make the perfect MMO, and why the Alliance would be so cool. If you listen hard enough while you are reading her article, you can almost hear the theme song..." -
EverQuest 2: Armor Quest Guide Levels 1-19
"Being poor in Qeyons is almost as bad as being poor in Freeport,so Savanja gives to you the cheapest and most effective way of obtaining that much needed low level gear. Make great experience, a little bit of coin, AND get some pretty great armor, all you need as a new and naked Qeynosian is right here!" -
Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Independence Day Or Not
"For Independence Day, Shayalyn was granted the freedom to look beyond Vanguard: Saga of Heroes and design the MMO of her dreams. When she laid out the parameters for her perfect MMO, she realized that her ideas were not exactly visionary. In fact, they were really a bit retro...and had already been envisioned for a modern MMO platform by a company called Sigil Games Online. " -
World of Warcraft: Darnassus City Guide
"We continue our guides over the various regions and cities in World of Warcraft with a complete guide to the city of Darnassus. Home to the Night Elves, this city in the trees contains plenty of beauty and mystery. Our complete guide to Darnassus contains quests, a map, and lore on this majestic city up in the sky."
Vin Diesel Fact of the Day - Vin Diesel doesn't go to work. It comes to him.
Now on to the real world. You can't make this stuff up.
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Hasselhoff In Chandalier Accident [Thanks Michael]
From SpongeBob to chandalier casualty, how the mighty have fallen. -
The Internet Is A Series Of Tubes [Thanks Matt]
Reporter: "Senator would those be toilet paper tubes, paint tubes or inner tubes?" -
Ferrari For Sale On EBay - Comes With Woman [Thanks Matt]
How ugly do you have to be to try to sell yourself by throwing in a Ferrari? -
M&M / Snickers Factory Closed Due to Fly, Mice Infestation [Thanks Matt]
"Melts in your mouth, not on your paws", big drawing point for vermin. -
Earth Surrounded By Giant Fizzy Bubbles [Thanks Matt]
Pop-Rocks Comet making final approach. -
Herring Fart To Protect Themselves [Thanks Matt]
Lighting the farts on fire to see the "blue flame" just for fun.
As always, thanks for visiting TenTonHammer.com,
-- John "Boomjack" Hoskin
