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Are you looking for the latest industry headlines? Look no further.

I'm testing out a "Bling Free" format for the column this week. This is your chance to give it the thumbs up or thumbs down. Gone are the fancy graphics and our long-time friend Vin Diesel. Coverage of the MMOG industry continues down its merry path.

1. Daily Column
2. New MMOG Articles at TenTonHammer Today (13 New)
3. Real World News - You Can't Make This Up

1. Daily Column

The response to the new layout has been mostly positive so far. Only two people were upset that Vin had been retired. Peter, I feel your pain brother!

I expect to see the fourth horseman ride by my office window any moment. First I am told that Coyote is playing WoW. Then I discover that he has called in sick. Yeah, called in sick to play WoW. There is nothing more to say, except that Coyote hasn't linked back to my column in over 180 days.

We couldn't possibly have a new MMOG launch without people complaining. They complain that there are not enough servers. They complain that there are too many servers. They complain that they can't play a specific race/class combination. They complain that they can't have a virtual same-sex marriage. Wha?

That's right folks, there is a seething controversy over virtual marriage in Lord of the Rings Online. Let me get one thing straight right from the get-go. This whole virtual marriage issue, straight or gay, creeps me out. It's a virtual world. Why do any of you want to virtually marry a virtual character in a virtual world? Are you that starved for affection? Buy a dog!

I want to take my Dwarf Guardian out and stick a sword in a goblin. I don't want the two hairy-toed hobbits in the group to start a tongue swordfight while I do so. I'm not particularly fond of seeing real people display their real-life affection for each in a public place. I don't need it to be accosted by it in a virtual public place.

Turbine decided to pull the "marriage" code from the game because they didn't want to deal with Dwarf - Hobbit couplings or Elven pride parades. Strangely, I can't remember a game ever having marriage "code" in it before. The affection-starved simply stated in guild or general chat for a month that they were getting married and to show up at VirtualSpot A at VirtualTime B to see the virtual wedding. They often brought in a cleric or priest class to oversee the ceremony, because, well, you couldn't have a wedding without a virtual priest who prays to a virtual god making sure that everything was as it should be.

Once everyone was rounded up and watched the ceremony the happy virtual couple were showered with virtual gifts and the attendees got virtually drunk.

Dumb.

I applaud Turbine's efforts to stop this pox on gaming, but I fear the virtual nuptials will continue, even though that pretty elven bride is really a 58-year-old, beer-bellied, stained t-shirt wearing, man who is playing on a laptop from the comfort of his futon bed.

A virtual penny for your virtual thoughts. Thanks to Medeor for being the lone rebel to comment yesterday.

Vote, rank, share, comment or email me directly.

2. New MMOG Articles At Ten Ton Hammer Today

• Editorial: An Analysis of the MMO Market For Q4 2007
  "In this editorial, Micajah tries to explore what the repercussions will be from the two major announcements that have been posted in the last seven days. By looking at the current list of games expected to release in the fall of 2007, Micajah does his best to draw out some theories on the future of the two titles in question and try to predict the general outcome of the 2007 MMO market."
• Blog: A Rock And A Hard Place
  "Micajah throws his own opinion of the SOE / Sigil merger into the fire and hopes that he isn't drowned out by the millions of screaming SOE and EQ haters.
• Blog: Coyote Plays WoW
  "Everyone and their uncle has played World of Warcraft right? Not Ten Ton Hammer's humorist Coyote. Even mentioning it to him brought forth eye rolls and jokes about your mother. After eons of coaxing, the day has finally come. We can't promise you this isn't an apocalyptic sign, but we can promise you some laughs. Join us as he begins his series on World of Warcraft."
• Dungeons and Dragons Online: The Axe Lord
  "Three words define the Axe Lord. A dwarf with a strong fascination with sharp, deadly weapons, this build is a terror upon the enemies of the dwarven race and their allies. Make one with the new build from Darkgolem, The Axe Lord!"
• Mixmaster Online: New Artwork
  "MixMaster Online, an anime-style teen-oriented MMO, is preparing to enter its second beta phase. Ten Ton Hammer has provided you with several pieces of artwork from the game as well as a the official beta announcement! Enjoy!"
• Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - How Would You Fix The Economy?
  "This week's Poll addresses the State of Vanguard's Economy, problems, and possible fixes, putting the reader in the reader in the driver's seat."
• Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Tips Portal Opens
  "New to Vanguard, or still trying to figure out certain aspects of the game? Look no further than our Tuesday's Tips feature. We've opened a shiny new portal to our collection of Vanguard tips. Watch for a new Tuesday's Tips update every week. (On Tuesdays, in case you were, ya know, wondering.) Still have questions? Submit them to us. Or are you a Vanguard genius? Send us your tips!"
• Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Weekend Warrior
  "Ralsu tackles the seemingly imminent acquisition of Vanguard by SOE in his latest blog. The only lingering question is whether his diatribe will be shorter than Brad McQuaid's!"
• Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Disciple Spell List
  "The Disciple is the unique martial healing expert of Vanguard: Saga of Heroes. Want to learn more about what this class can do? Focus your energies and become one in harmony with this transcendent... Ah, just check out our level 1-50 spell lists."
• Warhammer Online: Podcast - Concept Art to Animated Model
  "We have a brand new Warhammer Online podcast available for you which highlights the process of taking a piece of concept art from a simple sketch to a fully functional, in-game model. In the video, we see how EA Mythic concept artists, Lucas Hardy and Eric Polak, worked with Lead Character Artist, Jeff Mianowski, to transform a simple sketch of the Chaos Chosen into the frightening in-game model you see today."
• Wiki: Four New Games Added - Dark Solstice, Kaos War, Saga, Shadowbane
  "New updates to the Wiki are being added constantly, this update brought over information about the MMORTS Saga, the Sci-Fi MMORPG Kaos War, Information on Dark Solstice from the developers, and details about Shadowbane, all with their new pages dedicated to them."
• World of Warcraft: Horde Leveling Guide 60-70
  "Today we continue our Horde 60-70 leveling guide with the exploration of Zangarmarsh and levels 61-63. So if your looking for the fastest way to level, check it out."
• World of Warcraft: Alchemy 1-375 Leveling Guide
  "Looking to get to 375 Alchemy as fast as possible? Look no more, our Alchemy 1-375 Leveling Guide will show you how to power level Alchemy up in a fast and very money conscience way. Save yourself some time and money with our latest guide!"

3. Real World News

• Lesbians Are Twice As Likely To Be Obese
  Rosie trifecta in play.
• Soccer Mascot Confuses Referee
  Because most soccer players have large, fuzzy lion heads.
• Fire Strikes Bowling Pin Factory
  Nothing was spared.

Thanks as always for visiting TenTonHammer.com

John "Boomjack" Hoskin