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Before I get started today, here's a quick shout-out to Ron Meiners and Celia Pearce who apparently made friends with Jeff and Cody at the recent IMGDC conference. Ron and Celia have opened a new MMOG blog to compete with this one. They use a lot of big words like "especially" and are currently discussing the indie game scene. Check it out...then come back here.
Is it a game or is it a service?
Short answer, it's both.
I had two eerily similar, disappointing customer service experiences yesterday. Let's start with the one that has no connection to games, or at least very little connection to games. I suppose if you really dig back you can find a connection with the game Midtown Madness. Those of you who played that fantastic driving title will understand in a minute. For the rest of you, it isn't entertaining enough to waste your time.
My wife has wanted, not needed, but wanted a Volkswagen Beetle since the day that they announced it was coming back into production. She has this strange affinity for the car that was bored into her psyche during her childhood. For nine years she has mentioned that she would like one, often only in passing, but for my wife that is a big deal. She never asks for anything.
It was time to get her the car that she wanted. I went to Volkswagen with her, she picked it out, they promised that they would have it and told us when to return, which we did, yesterday. I mentioned to my wife that she should probably call first just to make sure that the vehicle was ready, but she assured me that anyone selling an item of that value would certainly have it ready for delivery.
Guess what wasn't ready? Guess who was upset on the day that should have ranked on the fun scale next to pony rides and funnel cakes? I didn't haggle over the price. My only stipulation was that they deliver on the day promised at the time promised. They didn't deliver and worse, they didn't even have the common courtesy to let me know that it wasn't ready. "Oh, you're coming in today?"
It was a large purchase. For most people a car is the second largest purchase that they will ever make, behind their home. For others a mail-order bride might be second, but you get the picture, this is a large purchase. You would think that a company selling an item with such a lofty pricetag would put customer service at the top of their to-do list. Volkswagen apparently doesn't agree with my crazy idealistic sentiments. It will be ready when we are damn good and ready to give it to you, seems to be their motto. If my wife hadn't been pining over a Beetle for nine-years I wouldn't have taken the car.
When I purchased my SUV from Toyota the experience was just the opposite. I actually left the dealership happy. Have you ever left a car dealership happy? I didn't think so, unless perhaps you purchased a Toyota. Visiting a car dealership is much like going to the dentist; nobody wants to do it, but in the end you have no choice. You leave feeling violated and in pain.
I used to be excited when I purchased a new computer. I would list out the latest, greatest, fastest bits and pieces that would be cobbled together into my dream machine. I would place the order at the local computer shop where everyone knew my name and wait patiently for a week or so until it was built, tested and delivered to my door. It worked and I loved it and when the time came to get another machine I would go back to the same shop and order again.
Then I moved far away from civilization to the land where computer shops weren't quite as savvy as the one I was used to. When I entered with my list of fantastic bits and pieces I was pushed and prodded towards a lesser computer entity, one that I didn't really want and that I certainly didn't love. I didn't buy and instead ended up with a Dell. The Dell worked, but it wasn't "mine" if you can relate.
My next machine was an Alienware, back before they were the rotting husk of a company that they are today. It was fantastic; overpriced, but fantastic. Then the dark days came and Alienware sunk from the boutique champions that they were to the gutter-sludge that they now are.
I purchased numerous machines, none of which really turned my crank and then I decided to try out VoodooPC. They were a Canadian company with great street cred on the virtual gaming streets. They had been purchased by HP, but from all word they remained a solid, small company that built fantastic, albeit overpriced machines.
I ordered my dream machine. The website said a 30-day delivery was to be expected. I was disappointed, but I could wait 30-days. What I didn't expect was to wait 67-days for the machine. A dream machine is no longer a dream machine 67-days after order. It's a great machine. It's an above average machine. It's not a dream machine.
I won't get into the stories I was told by VoodooPC staff in this column. I'll save that for another day, but I will tell you is that 67-days after I ordered a machine that cost more than most gamers will spend on machines in three-years a box arrived from VoodooPC containing the most beautiful doorstop that you will ever see. It's incredibly well lit, with red, blue and white lights. The intricately carved case simply glows and literally roars when you turn it on. The problem my dear readers is that this machine that took 67-days to build didn't boot up. It wasn't even close. In fact, this liquid cooled piece of art didn't even know that it was a computer. Nobody told it! The machine is liquid cooled, yet it balked with an error that the fan wasn't present and then, because that wouldn't be enough to completely ruin the experience failed to find a hard drive.
Now I knew there was a hard drive inside because I could see it through the clear glass case. A case that will make every spec of dust dragged into this gaming coffin into an up close and personal view of the filth that floats about your home. . You see the case is actually filled with lights, on the inside. Genius.
More on this when I get it to work properly. You do Voodoo? I'd like a doll made in the likeness of VoodooPC please.
Is there a MMOG publisher or developer that provides incredible service to its customers? Is this idea crazier than a 24/7 cooking television station or a music station named MTV that doesn't actually play any music? Is it crazier than shipping an expensive computer that will boot up? Is this the area where the independent developers can make a name for themselves?
Be heard!
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Today's Exclusive TenTonHammer.com Content!
04.18.2007
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IMGDC: A Sex-Filled Discussion With Kelly Rued
"Sex is everywhere. That's why we had a chat with Kelly Rued, an outspoken advocate for interactive adult entertainment and an independent developer in her own right as the Lead Designer on Gods of Desire, a "unique fantasy MMORPG for adventurous adults." Keep reading to learn what's going on with sex and MMOs!" -
EverQuest 2: Zek Zone Guide
"Ten Ton Hammer grows as the game does, and we want to keep our guides up to date! Savanja completely overhauls the Zek, the Orcish Wastes zone guide to include game changes and new zone info. Grab this guide and revisit this old stand by of a zone, and remember why we love it!" -
EverQuest 2: Looking For Loot
"Class armor loot changes are in the works but will it improve the current system? RadarX takes a look at the pros and cons of this delicate mechanic and what it means to you." -
Saga: Sign Up For Alpha Testing
"Saga, an upcoming massively multiplayer real-time strategy (MMORTS) game from Wahoo Studios, is seeking a limited number of new applicants for the final stage of its private online alpha test at www.PlaySaga.com. To give you a glimpse of what you might find in Saga, the developers have included a series of three screenshots for your particular enjoyment!" -
Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Gallery - A Solemn Request
"This gallery is full of pictures that give you the complete quest text, a closer look at each of the mobs, and details of the terrain for our A Solemn Request Quest Guide. The gallery also contains many pictures not featured in our quest guide." -
Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - A Solemn Request Quest Guide
"Ralsu brings you a new quest guide for the early 20s that has you killing dozens of animals in the Ra'Hazi forest:" -
World of Warcraft: Tier 5 Armour Set Information
"This guide offers information on where to find and collect the coveted Tier 5 Raid set of armor. The Tier 5 raid set is very similar to the Tier 4 raid set in that it is gained by collecting "tokens" and turning them in to vendors in exchange for the armor pieces. The "tokens" are really just statless pieces of armor. You can trade them in for the armor set pieces from the Aldor and Scryer vendors in Shattrath City"
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N.Y. To London Directions [Thanks Matt]
Step 23 is the key. -
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A lobotomy might have been a better choice. -
Girls in Tight Dresses Denied Entry To Prom
Insert your "the dress is coming off anyway" joke here.
Vin Diesel Fact: Vin Diesel perpendicular parks.
Thanks as always for visiting TenTonHammer.com
- John "Boomjack" Hoskin