Yesterday I tossed out a teaser that we would have some exhilarting news to report today. Unfortunately, that news can't be released until Friday evening. My most sincere apologies. I grovel at your virtual feet in embarrassment and humility. What I can tell you is that our resident rodeo clown, Jeff Woleslagle was slotted into the session with FHM (For Him Magazine) and just before Penthouse. I'll leave that lurid picture of Jeff in full rodeo clown costume hunkering down with the Penthouse folks in your mind while I move on to a topic that is equally bizarre, message forums.

First up, Vanguard: Saga of Heroes. The magnanimous folks at Sigil Online Games decided, fittingly, that there should not be an "Official" set of message forums. This of course means that these forums become the defacto official forums. I expect the moderators of said forums to act belligerantly and with prejudice lest the bewildered posters and readers of aforementioned forums forget even for a moment that they are not in forums that have an "Official" sign hanging from a rusty nail.

If only Blizzard had taken this stance they would not have been obliged to post the following in their "Official" forums;

"In an effort to reduce the amount of spam being generated on our boards, we are going to be issuing temporary suspensions to anyone found creating threads which discuss the need for new realms. Please be aware, this rule will also extend to players who post about new realms in unrelated discussions as such is considered 'thread hijacking'. The Community Management team will announce the release of new realms just before the network team makes them publicly available.
Thank you for your cooperation in this matter."

The post now has 13 pages of responses. You will be banned if you "discuss the need for new realms", but the following threads, all found on the first two-pages of the General Forum, titled as per the forum posts are O.K.

• How come female chars are as strong as males?
• Just a thought on my birthday
• Pancakes...and lots of them!
• The hunter class is dominated by 12-year-olds
• I ran into a gnome and punted him
• I hate you...
• I'll take bewbies in the library for 400

What is your stance on official forums? Do you visit them? Should they be strictly moderated? Should issues like discussing the opening of new servers be bannableoffenses?

Make your mark. Mark your territory. Post a comment. If you are shy you can E-Mail me.
Every good guild needs a home. A home free of gold ads, secondary market farmers. Look no further than GuildPortal.com.

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Exclusive new TenTonHammer.com Content!
Let us entertain you or at the very least waste some of your time at work.08.09.2006 Exclusive Content

• World of Warcraft: Where To Adventure Guide
  "The end is in sight! Almost a month ago, I started on a quest to update every entry in our where to adventure guide. While I have seen some delays, I am almost done. In fact I excpect to have it all completed by the end of this week. Today the updates include the Badlands, Swamp of Sorrows, Desolace, Dustwallow Marsh, and Razorfen Downs. Head over to the guide to check them out! Also remember that if you spot something we missed, that you feel everyone should know, please email it in or post it in our forums and we will add it and credit you."

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Vin Diesel Fact of the Day - Plaque is afraid to stick to Vin Diesel's teeth.

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Now on to the real world. You can't make this stuff up.

• Infidel Texts Banned In Kentucky Schools [Thanks Matt]
  Cobblers and blacksmiths march in protest. Witches flee the state.
• Man Arrested After Migrants Sewn In Seats [Thanks Matt]
  Customs officials in stitches.
• Bedbugs Invading The United States [Thanks Matt]
  Bloodsucking insects sneaking into the country disguised as politicians.
• Army Considering Military Theme Park [Thanks Matt]
  Today's Theme: Camouflaged Agendas

As always, thanks for visiting TenTonHammer.com,
-- John "Boomjack" Hoskin

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